Daughter won't communicate with me at all

I thunk a lot of trolling is happening, !

Yep. Trolling for sure.

Babs03

Smiling2017

I'll say the quiet part out loud.

This entire site, not just the support thread, is meant to be an echo-chamber of support for EP "who have no idea what they did wrong".

VS, you got the memo when you first joined this site. But for whatever reason, you were able to take accountability and grow as a person. I think this forum is evidence enough that people are capable of change, albeit extremely rarely.

Your level-headed advice is more than valid, and pretending their emotionally stunted viewpoint deserves a seat at the table is being done only out of politeness (I'm guessing/hoping).

Seeing the way they continuously behave, it's of little to no surprise their children no longer have the innate, natural desire to love their parent; so much so as to entirely cut all contact.

Anyone who isn't emotionally invested sees right through their provocations, twisting of the situation, skirting details, playing dumb, cat-piling, outright lying, and so on.

Closing statements. Don't take them seriously, it's just the blind leading the blind on here. It's fantastic you're finally able to see, but don't get so emotionally invested in trying to wake up others. More often than not, it's completely futile, and they will just drag you down in the process.

Take care

Not nice. Picking a monicker that is similar to Smileless then saying such nasty things about parents who are estranged.
We are not in any way some sort of club, we are individuals with different back stories, to suggest we are conspiring to do anything is just paranoid.
Whatever point you were trying to make has been negated by your awful remarks so there was not much point in going to such trouble.

Too much of a coincidence for my liking.
BTW it’s obvious that there are some posters here who either have a short memory or are relatively new to the site.

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

I agree with LilahG and mickeysmiles. I agree with the overall sentiment of Smiling2017 though I hope they won't mind my saying that personally, I don't agree with saying it's clear why posters' children "no longer have the innate desire to love their parent". Partly because I don't think that feeling frustrated by somebody's behaviour is fair reason to say things to be hurtful, especially over the internet when there's plenty of opportunity to temper emotions before responding. Partly because choosing to cut contact with someone isn't necessarily a reflection of whether or not you love them. It's a reflection of what behaviour you are willing to accept from them, and what you are not. I don't think it's fair to EACs to suggest their estrangement is a reflection of a lack of love on their end. There is plenty of strength involved in loving somebody and still choosing estrangement.

I'm not sure I understand the resentment some posters seem to feel about "lurking". This is a public forum on the internet, there's no reason why people would need to engage with the forum by posting if they get the information they need from reading other people's thoughts. I certainly didn't post with the intention of "trolling", I had just avoided posting until now because I didn't feel particularly driven to engage with the unpleasant behaviour I'd already seen here. I imagine that's the case for other "new" posters too.

I'm also not sure why there seems to be disdain for the idea that readers find Violet's thoughts elucidating. There are plenty of regularly posting EPs who are vocal in their support of other EPs, and there will be plenty of readers who agree with EPs' thoughts. The same goes for readers who agree with EAC's thoughts, it's not particularly notable really.

And I'm thrice unsure why posters feel the need to make reference to past drama as though current behaviour is irrelevant? Is the point of these estrangement discussions not centred around that exact concept - that how we behave now is where we should put the focus? Being denigrated based on past actions with no acknowledgement of what is happening in the present is an experience commonly disliked by EPs and EACs alike, so I don't really understand the function of it in this context.

This thread needs removing GN, it is now being used to intimidate and cause offence to other posters.
VS is quite capable of speaking for herself and doesn't need her backing group to do it for her.
This thread was about communication, its turned into an attack on estranged parents and anybody who dares to challenge VS on her views,

Well said Bridie, although I don't know what it would take. It seems people can join in to a thread just to intimidate and derail.

I agree this thread needs to be removed.
Apologies to the OP.
X

Bridie22

I thunk a lot of trolling is happening, !

More like the AGM of “sock puppets inc” than trolling. They’re not good enough to be trolls lol 😉

It’s fairly predictable what will happen next…😷

I think in future I’d like to be known as Lily Smiles or perhaps Diamond Smilesalot - that’ll all add to the fun…😂

All have a nice day. 🙂

Good thinking DL, we should all change our user names to be Smiley 🤣

The OP has long left the building, so this thread should have been left to “die” - it’s serving no purpose.

But, I must admit the transparency this morning did make me laugh.

Hopefully, GN will lock it now. 🙂

Far from being intimidated I'm highly amused at the obvious transparency; maybe we'll get some 'pearls of wisdom' from MinnieSmiles later.

IMO people only seek to disrupt a thread when they have nothing of value to offer to the discussion.

It's just as well that EleanorRose has left the building but not a good look for Gransnet.

It did make me laugh over my morning coffee, I must admit. 😂

But, no it’s not a good look when someone needing advice feels they gave to disappear swiftly. 🤷‍♀️

I agree DL. Putting my personal amusement aside it isn't and is a rather unpleasant side to this forum.

Another one in agreement, im surprised GN have not responded to the disapproval of some of the comments on this thread, despite them being brought to their attention!

Not again! Can’t HQ sort this sort of thing out?

I hope you’re ok Smileless?

Yeah I'm good thanks Doodledog .

I didnt know VS had a fan club

And I cannot, for the life of me, fathom in the slightest, why there is a distiction made between an EP and an EAC.

Sabotaging a thread started by someone reaching out for help when feeling desperate is pretty low.
Keep on keeping on Smileless.
And as for a certain poster’s fan club, I think most of them are the same person.

A distinction is made because they are two separate entities fancythat; parents who have been estranged and adult children who've estranged their parents.

That's not to say there cannot be a sensible discussion and exchange of opinions between them, it does and has happened on GN but all too often these threads become derailed with sweeping offensive generalisations, personal attacks and hamstrung when for some inexplicable reason, a poster can't be disagreed with.

Bridie referred to a backing group and rightly or wrongly, it is odd how never seen before posters suddenly appear to support one in particular and do so by denigrating EP's, and are then never seen again.

It isn't the first time this has happened.

Will do Babs

I see some recent posts have been deleted.

Yes, from the questionable 'new' or long time 'lurking' posters .

A distinction is made because they are two separate entities fancythat; parents who have been estranged and adult children who've estranged their parents.

But they seem to be lumped together as two groups.
And everyone in each group is supposed to think and act the same.

Which is a ridiculous idea.

I don't agree that everyone in each group is supposed to think and act the same fancythat.

The only way I see them expected to act the same is to be respectful of one another's opinions and sensitive to one another's pain that's being shared.

As this thread and many others in the past have demonstrated, this isn't always the case when it comes to EP's posting on this forum.