Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

Yoga I think dreams reflect whats in our sub conscience. Its impossible to believe the information stored there, better than a computer we just don't access a lot of it. That's why i find it impossible to think that it is ever wasted.

I just listened to the Jeremy Vine Show segment on AC estrangement Bridie22 Allsorts. Good to hear it talked about openly and clearly.

I hope more people raise it in the media, it does ruin lives, as they said on the programme.

How can AC cut off their parents when they know it will ruin their parents lives?

Thank you all for the info, I shall have a search later 👍

I will definitely listen to it later 🙏🏾

I found the Jeremy Vine item very interesting and fair. However I have just googled the relationship "expert" as I wanted to know more about her and discovered there are very heated comments on Mumsnet and Reddit ranting about the programme - even saying they have complained about it to the BBC because they claim it was biased.
Throughout my long relationship with this estrangement thread here I have often seen estranged parents acknowledging that some parents are bad and deserve to be cut off. But the adult children who are doing the estrangement will not concede that there are any parents who get cut off do not deserve it

eddiecat78

I found the Jeremy Vine item very interesting and fair. However I have just googled the relationship "expert" as I wanted to know more about her and discovered there are very heated comments on Mumsnet and Reddit ranting about the programme - even saying they have complained about it to the BBC because they claim it was biased.
Throughout my long relationship with this estrangement thread here I have often seen estranged parents acknowledging that some parents are bad and deserve to be cut off. But the adult children who are doing the estrangement will not concede that there are any parents who get cut off do not deserve it

Very true.
And believe me some of the ranters on Reddit and probably mumsnet come on here being abusive towards estranged parents and grandparents.
Is sad really. And I imagine some of those complaining are not even ACs who are estranged because of abuse, some just jump on the bandwagon because they just generally hate their parents or the older generation.
Fact is estranged parents and grandparents rarely ever have their plight publicised, is nearly always from the point of view that all estranged ACs were right to cut off from their parents, and all parents are horrible.

I don't look on either forums but they do seem biased. I think these are the places where they promote estrangement as parents we are all bad. The conclusion is we can't do a thing but protect ourselves. Easier if you have a partner or other children and family, but living alone you overthink.

Morning everyone, thank goodness the storm has passed. I hope you're all OK and didn't have any damage to property. Due to the weather, our friends were unable to come on Saturday, but we did manage to venture out with our new friends and neighbours for a meal; the only time we did go out the entire weekend it was so bad here.

I didn't listen to the item on Jeremy Vine, but it sounds as if it was a positive step forward in terms of putting across the experiences of estranged parents.

I don't suppose that any of us who contribute to this thread, or those dipping in occasionally or who just read but never post, will be surprised at the criticism voiced on Reddit. As you say Babs, we've had a lot of abusive comments on this forum especially lately, from those who just don't want EP's to be given a voice and for that voice to be heard.

What sets us apart eddie is our ability and willingness to accept that there are bad parents out there, whose AC are better off without them in their lives. When stories from EAC are shared here on GN they are taken as read, with no suggestion that the EAC 'must have done something'; no need to say 'there are two sides to the story' and never any suggestion that the EAC is 'controlling, abusive, toxic and/or a narcissist'.

There have been over the years EAC who've not just received support from EP's but reciprocated that support and those that come here to abuse us and attempt to disrupt this forum are doing them a great disservice.

When it comes to Reddit Allsorts I think you're right that estrangement is promoted and from what I've been told, as like you I never look there, the abuse of EP's is actively encouraged.

Jumping in before reading post

Fingers crossed, the problem with dickhead is over! Coming back those 2 nights when I went out, parking half a mile [not quite] down the road, battling the wind & rain to walk past his half empty driveway and his cars lined up over mine, I felt like crying with the injustice of it and thought, I must move.

Sunday morning, I went out to collect my bins and paper recycling box that had been blown away by the high winds. Took the opportunity to take a few pictures of his van over mine and his free. Did the council on-line form for parking violations, took me an age to upload the pictures, somehow from my mobile onto my laptop form, and sent!

Doing my yoga in my bedroom, on the floor, heard something outside; low and behold a traffic warden on a motorbike giving dickhead a ticket . I then had to go out, on getting back, couldn't believe he'd moved his van and I had a parking spot outside yah!

I looked on my doorcam, to see him walk past his van, take the ticket and quick as he could stuff it in his pocket and walk by. With him bragging about him giving the old bat a parking ticket he clearly didn't want to be seen getting one back!

I am holding my breath this week though, it's really made me happy

Haven't read all the posts yet. But went to look at a thread that appeared yesterday and it's disappeared. The OP was very rude to Grammeretto and said so but wouldn't report this time.and she broken the GN guidelines and now it's gone . She posted something past 2am and can't remember what time I posted .
Hope it's not the start of the trolls again . Where's Krampus when you need him 😂.

eddiecat78 it's always the same estranged parents are the cruel villains and the children who estrange us are the victims. I think it's how estranged children justify their actions knowing full well they are wrong and cruel. What they forget is they are not perfect parents and one day their own children will be adults and critical of them.

I never listen to anything about estrangement and only read one book about it that Smiles and Yogin recommended by Sharon A Wildey. At least she knew what she was talking about as she is estranged from her children. And interviewed lot of other parents.

I don't read Mumsnet and only read Reddit when I got trolled by my daughter in law in June 2020. On the stress of selling and buying on the house and home forum that's where I first joined GN back in March 2019 and my house sale fell through the second time. I had written about my son and she wrote as a nan and said her grandson read something on Reddit and thinks it was my daughter in law and put a link.. I was staying with my daughter and family while I had work done on my bungalow which meant I couldn't stay there. My pain levels were sky high and like a fool pressed the link. After 2 sentences I past the phone to my daughter in tears. It was vicious . But I still loved her until one sentence' and that love died. 'FIL died to get away from MIL' . I thought how can anyone who loves my son say such an awful thing about his dad. She knew my husband died in agony from cancer. She never met him as he died the year before she met my son.

What is so horrible about it was the comments made about me by others supporting her . At one point she said if I turned up she would set the police on me. I never went to their house once I moved to live closer, was never invited . My son and their 2 eldest always came here every week for 7 months then covid hit. And when I came to visit before moving my son took me to their house as I don't drive . But my daughter in law always went out. I never thought anything about it was just glad to spend time with them as only saw them 3-4 times a year. Via her Reddit posts found out she did it on purpose so she didn't have to tolerate me her words.

But I made the decision last year not to let my not seeing my son and grandsons hurt me anymore and have stuck to that decision. My husband dieing hurts far more than what my son and daughter in law has done .

On a lighter note my daughter sent me a text yesterday and they where talking about me. I go by my shortened name and my daughter ask what her eldest thought my full name was and said a man's name did make me laugh 😂. She didn't correct him leaving that to me .

Hope no one suffered any storm damage . Chilly bright calm day here today. But parts of the county trees are down and 2 people killed . Lot of damage to property and roads blocked . And parts flooded.

Take care all 🤗

Birdie & Sparkly there are no explanations, no answers, no reasons for any of it, for all of us it would seem.

Babs glad to hear you had a good trip to London to see your DD&GC. albeit without the QE11 bridge crossing!

Oh Whiff Try not to re-live those hurtful words from your d.i.l. They say sticks & stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me that saying isn't true is it!

You have a lovely DD & her family so just keep your focus on them. xx

Some people in this life are so mean, hurtful and nasty! Best to keep away.

@yogi yay!!
You got the dick head👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Must have been all the bad vibes we were sending his way. We weren’t there in person but I do believe in karma.
He certainly got ‘what comes around’.
Congrats.
Let’s hope that is an end to it.
🙏🏾

@Whiff,
Don’t go back, of course we all do, revisit the hurt, but you have come so far and are such a strong and inspirational person, this won’t knock you. As you say you have been through worse when your DH died.
Thinking of you 🌺🌺

That rogue post was another supposedly in the US. They all seem to be from somewhere abroad and posted in the early hours.
Am pretty sure now it was invented.

@Smileless,
Easiest thing in the world to go for a soft target and that is what the cowards on Reddit are doing.
Thing is we are not as soft as they think.😡

That's great news Yogin serves him right. Fingers crossed that you wont have any problems in the future but if you do, you'll know what action to take to get him ticketed again.

I think you could be right Babs and the bad vibes we were sending his way worked!!!

I wondered what had happened to that thread Whiff, maybe the OP asked for it to be deleted . Whatever the reason, there's no need to be rude.

You're right Yogin, I've never liked the 'sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you' mantra. Broken bones heal but the pain caused by what's said never leaves completely, and the scars are worn on the inside.

Thing is we are not as soft as they think absolutely Babs.

I reported the post and I think Allsorts did too. GNVQ came back to say the OP had deregistered.
Good thing too with that kind of language.
🤔

Whoops GNHQ, I think GNVQ is a qualification 😂

Yogin Karma works . Hope he forgets to pay it quickly enough and has to pay extra . Hopefully he's learn his lesson. Wonder if a little birdy will spread the word he got a parking ticket. As someone else will have spotted the traffic warden .

My parents always said sticks and stones etc. But I told them words still hurt just as much as any broken bone .

I told what happened to me as an example of Reddit I don't dwell on it as it was 4 years ago . I am not the same person I was then. I am stronger and happier than I have been since I moved here . Here have the life I hadn't lived since my husband died. The life he wanted for me and am doing all the things I set out to do once I moved. Achieved my goals and set myself new challenges for the coming year .

Hello, I was just wondering if someone could explain what happened on a vanished thread. I was reading the lady turned rather nasty about her daughter and people here and then it vanished into thin air.

Probably deleted if it was a nasty thread.

Fingers crossed Yogi, I hope it stays this way for you, if not just keep sending the photos 👍

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202412/medium-489867-img-7984.jpeg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202412/medium-392691-img-7982.jpeg

Christmas trees and decs now up 🙏🏾