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Estrangement

Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

(1001 Posts)

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Smileless2012 Tue 08-Oct-24 11:21:15

Our current thread is about to reach 1000 posts so for all the regulars keep on posting and for anyone who hasn't joined us yet, a warm welcome awaits.

Babs03 Sun 22-Dec-24 13:32:19

Keep saying we are going last minute shopping, have been saying that for days and still doing it. Thankfully one of our daughters and SiL are back home now so they have gone to do sone of our last minute shopping.
Buying gluten free Yorkshires from M&S
I usually make my own but free from flour isn’t great for making the batter.
Nearly there.
Phew 😮‍💨

Madgran77 Sun 22-Dec-24 13:34:00

Smileless2012

We wont ask until Christmas eve love0c, but it's not just us getting on with her there's also our friend who can be a bit prickly.

Hi Smileless would it be worth mentioning to your "prickly" friend that you are considering an invitation even before meeting the person on Christmas Eve ...maybe more time for her to get her head around the idea?

Allsorts Sun 22-Dec-24 13:44:08

Yoga careful don't start baking. I put on 1 1/2 stone as cant resist anything I bake. I have no will power the cakes call me from the pantry. I did Jamies recipe for air fryer shredded sprouts and ended up with an inedible pile of burnt shavings.I dread the long drive on Christmas Day and this might be my last. Then i will be at home.
The troll is the same weirdo who keeps changing her name, I suppose we should feel sad for her having nothing better to do. I worry about those that are genuine and are out off by them especially this time if year when its particularly hard.I think there is now a law about abusive and threatening posts on social media, that is managed by the person(s) who runs them and I must say G/N do remove them pretty quick when reported.
Smileless I do hope your plans work out, it is the true spirit of Christmas.I think unless this other woman really gets on with you all I would hesitate as you could be referee, but sure you will do the right thing.

Babs03 Sun 22-Dec-24 13:52:29

@Allsorts will eat what I bake and then try to lose weight in the NY. I love home baked cakes and biscuits. Am going to try to make ginger men with two GCs tomoro, but one is 2 and a half the other is 18 months, imagine whatever we make won’t be edible anyway so that saves me getting any wider 😆

Smileless2012 Sun 22-Dec-24 14:24:24

Great minds Madgran tchsmile. She's just 'phoned and I mentioned the other lady and said I hope she wont be on her own for Christmas day. She said 'well it's up to you what you do' so I think I have my answer.

Mr. S. had just told me he found out this morning that she has a D near by and it going there for Christmas. Honestly, men!!!

love0c Sun 22-Dec-24 15:51:43

Oh well, that's one less thing to worry over! I will be glad when it is over to be honest! Sorry.

Babs03 Sun 22-Dec-24 19:21:08

love0c

Oh well, that's one less thing to worry over! I will be glad when it is over to be honest! Sorry.

Don’t be I will be glad too.
😳

Whiff Mon 23-Dec-24 05:38:23

Yogin glad you got what you wanted for the baby .Hope you had lovely time with your friends and then with your family .

Babs your cakes look delicious I would have a slice of both . I used gluten free SR flour . One friend is gluten free and another is gluten and egg free so it's vegan baking for her . But getting better with both sorts . Just have remember to add extra liquid as the gluten free flour needs more moisture. But I always forget it is so fine and end up with a flour cloud 🤣.

Whiff Mon 23-Dec-24 06:03:06

Sorry pages behind. Before I forget happy wedding anniversary for tomorrow Babs and Mr B 🍾🥂.

Yogin your bird table sounds lovely . Since moving here I don't feed the birds due to attracting mice and squirrels as had both in my loft . But have a above ground level pond which the birds use and the xxxx squirrels . Have a rock by the side so the frog who lives in my garden can have a swim . Plus the hedgehog can get a drink . The local nursery puts out who peanut and end up with shells in my garden 🤬. It's always the squirrels.

Makes me laugh when the magpies and crows fight over the trees in my neighbours garden which backs on to mine ,the magpies always win. He's shed door as been banging all night good job it's heavy duty UPVC other it would be smashed . He's garden is enormous so they wouldn't hear from the house .

Sorry your London family couldn't come but it's better to be safe. When my husband was alive we went to Bluewater lot of times even though it was a long drive . Brilliant use of an old quarry. Once the tunnel was built we went to France often just for the day . Occasionally spending the night in a lovely hotel in a little village can't remember the name now . Always stocked up at Citie Europe shopping centre with lots of goodies .

Smiles best thing you and Mr S did was move to your new home and lots of new friends. And a whole new life and better for your dogs .

Whiff Mon 23-Dec-24 06:28:28

Allsorts glad I don't own an air fryer. But then again knowing me everything I put into one would burn as unless I set my timer I forget if something's in the oven . I have an idiot proof dishwasher 2 buttons you push on the front of the door. You can guarantee once a week I will forget to push the second button and then wonder why I can't hear the machine working 🤦. Haven't brought fresh sprouts since my husband was alive . I buy frozen baby sprouts and I don't like big ones. When reheating my dinner I wrap some in foil with drop of water and put in the oven do that with other frozen veg always cooks perfectly. I will put pounds on over Christmas and this year have 2 friends coming for new years eve lunch gluten free veggie lasagna and my brother's cheesecake recipe . Will make gluten free shortbread for the crumbs . Using dark cherries on the base and top . My brother always double fruits . Everything full fat but delicious.

Babs bet the boys will eat more of the gingerbread mix raw . Been baking with my 2 for years and always have to test every ingredient before use. I do warn them they won't like some raw ingredients like flour ,cocoa powder and ginger but they still want to try. But it's fun baking with them . The oldest loves cake and biscuits but his brother only likes biscuits.

Smiles glad Mr S found out the lady has a family but it was so kind of you to think of her. You will have a lovely time with your friends . I love cooking for more than just me but must admit glad I don't have to do it everyday. When having guests always make sure it's something I can prepare the day before so I am not worn out and can just enough their company.

Mustn't forget lovely to see love0c back . Hope you have a lovely Christmas.
Well think I am all caught up with everyone. 🎄⛄

Allsorts Mon 23-Dec-24 06:30:23

Babs, what fun baking gingerbread men with your little ones, I don't care what they look like as sure they will taste yummy. already waded through my luxury Florentines, cant result them, and a box of mince pies as reserves as prefer my own. It took me ages to lose 3lbs and will not weigh myself.
Smikeless glad you've sorted your extra guest problem.
Yoga, my garden has been taken over by pigeons , squirrels, a fox with a limp, then magpies then small birds, it's a hive of activity since the copse at the back of me was felled for housing.

Allsorts Mon 23-Dec-24 07:59:08

I have just reported on another thread on estrangement in response to one I had answered. Why do these people hate so much?

love0c Mon 23-Dec-24 08:24:48

Morning Whiff, thanks for the welcome back! I have kept dipping in now and again. I realise I am very fortunate not to be estranged from my adult children. I did think some years ago it might happen. Not always easy but doing ok really. We get to see our grandchildren very regularly so no problem there at all. We love that. I think Christmas is an emotional drain on so many of us. It highlights everything wrong in our lives, well I think it does for me! Hence, I will be glad when it is over. Sorry to be a misery!! As all sorted now we will go for a browse around the shops. I jusgt fancy doing that and maybe a bit of lunch out. Take care everyone and to all who feel like me?? Another week or so and it will be back to normal ha ha.

Bridie22 Mon 23-Dec-24 09:03:10

Allsorts, I have reported also, this time of year is heartbreaking enough for us without the cruel posts from people just happy to rub it in a bit more,nasty !

Jaffacake2 Mon 23-Dec-24 10:05:18

I am retreating from this support thread due to the awful messages that have been posted. They are badly affecting me and I don't need anymore stress at the moment.
Thank you for all your support which has helped me cope with difficult times this year. I hope you all have a happy Christmas and a peaceful new year xx

Yoginimeisje Mon 23-Dec-24 10:05:41

Allsorts your garden sounds lovely; full of wildlife. I love my squirrels, they are so funny, my white pigeon and Freddie the friendly one.

We had a lovely Xmas lunch yesterday, my London family, my DD&GC and son. It was my sister that pulled out. I bought a lovely sparkly Xmas jumper; it is soft and warm and did look good on, just one problem; it still had the security tab on tchshock. My son couldn't remover, so I wore it anyway tchblush. Had had a couple of people, including my s.i.l point it out to me and I answered that 'yes, I've just nicked it to wear today' tchgrin. So now I have to go to the bother of taking it back!

Yoginimeisje Mon 23-Dec-24 10:07:54

Very sorry to hear that Jaffa have a lovely Xmas & New Year xx

Whiff Mon 23-Dec-24 10:08:16

love0c never a misery . It's always lovely to see old posters back whether estranged or not.

Bridie a poster really doesn't like me, good means I have touched a nerve . The usual suspects of course jump to her defence .

All we can do is keep reporting and hope people who need help with estranged read and come on this thread . It's always sad a person starts a thread needing help but because of disruptive and nasty people they don't come back .

Smileless2012 Mon 23-Dec-24 12:41:07

Afternoon everyone.

Happy anniversary for you and Mr. B. Babs for tomorrow.

Our friend S has just 'phoned to tell me she wont be coming because she has shingles. I feel so sorry for her, knowing that she'll be on her own; bloody estrangement tchangry.

Well dear friends as I've posted elsewhere, quite unintentionally of course they're doing us a favour. We're often not believed when we say how cruel our EAC have been toward us, and they come along and show just how cruel some EAC are.

It's been lovely catching up with you Jaffa and for the words of comfort and support you've given us. I hope you have a lovely Christmas and a very happy New Year xx

Had a lovely afternoon with our new neighbours who share our wicked sense of humour; they're like an older version our our dear girls.

We've cancelled our booking for tomorrow evening as they're having a Christmas eve party and asked us to go tchsmile, so rather than just popping in for an hour, we'll be able to stay longer.

Mr. S. and I always make the most of this time of the year and enjoy it, but it will be nice to spend some time with others especially as once again our Christmas plans have been scuppered.

I think in future, we'll stop making any.

Whiff Mon 23-Dec-24 13:44:06

Jaffa sorry you are leaving the thread but you can always PM ones on here if you want to.

Smiles has your friend got the shingles antivirals . They helped me but I got them within 24 hours but you have up to have them within 72 hours . Just hope she isn't allergic to eggs as the antivirals are made with egg albumen, but there are ones without but you have to ask for them.

Be fun at the party and get to know everyone better.

SparklyGrandma Mon 23-Dec-24 13:57:32

Afternoon everyone, been a few days as I’ve picked up a lergy whilst also trying to be careful.

Who was baking, Babs may I sample some of yours please?

I’ve done all my presents, donated to Centrepoint instead of sending cards, big delivery tomorrow.

What is your “sitting down” point for Christmas? If you have one?

Mine is 3pm, Christmas Eve, Carols and Lessons from Kings. Radio 4.

Scotty16 Mon 23-Dec-24 14:06:30

I don't post often to this thread, but I read it regularly. I am so grateful to those posters who have offered kindness and encouragement to me, especially in the early days. I was overwhelmed by sadness and to know I wasn't the only one going through this made such a difference.

I cannot understand the cruelty of people in recent days who have posted vile and hurtful comments, I don't know what they hope to gain from such vitriol.

We have had to live through unthinkable hurt and pain, especially at this time of the year when our loss seems so much more poignant as we look out and see families getting together to celebrate Christmas, knowing we won't be seeing our loved ones, but not through our own choice.

Thank you smileless, whiff, Diamond Lily, Babs, Yogi and the other parents who have helped me to keep my head above water when at times I thought I would go under.

Please keep on, keeping on. From one grateful mum

Smileless2012 Mon 23-Dec-24 15:00:09

Such a lovely post Scotty, thank you.

I know I speak for us all when I say we will definitely keep on, keeping on.

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Peaceful New Year xx

Whiff Mon 23-Dec-24 15:30:47

Scotty lovely thing to say thank you . The longevity of this threads shows it's needed as much today as when it started think it's over 12 years but Smiles will put me right.

I know it's been a lifeline for me the last 4.5 years.

love0c Mon 23-Dec-24 17:16:58

Jaffacake Please please ignore them. We have no idea who they are! there is enough real misery going on. Goodness me the news lately! Horrific. Stay with the thread! Use it as you need to . I have already commented there are some horrible people out there and not just on this thread either. They will implode, hopefully ha ha. Enjoy your Christmas, in Ireland?

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