Not seeing grandkids

Starfire I'm also not that kind of mil.
My other son in in ltr ,no kids and I've always been welcoming.
I have 5 boys altogether and id hate to be so overbearing and always in their faces.

Grandparents don't have rights in the UK. Any case regarding contact/visitation would be based on the rights of children having contact with extended family which of course includes GP's.

Chocolate peanuts
I'm not a stay all day kind of person.
Unless we were put somewhere.

I think 2 hours max is enough for anybody, especially when they've got kids.
They've stuff to do.

Plus if I've done something to upset them,I'd rather they tell me.

Dub Angel you have had such unpleasant responses to your post and I feel sorry for you. Just ask what they feel acceptable. To cancel a the time is rude. My son’s children saw more of dil mother but I just accepted it. No point falling out and we don’t get a say.

DubAngel

Plus if I've done something to upset them,I'd rather they tell me.

How often do you feel it is necessary to see GK?

I agree Allsorts manners cost nothing.

I'm seeing them this week.
So we shall see.

Smileless2012

Grandparents don't have rights in the UK. Any case regarding contact/visitation would be based on the rights of children having contact with extended family which of course includes GP's.

Yes, well as you know, my family has spent two years in court, with social services backing, to have visitation rights to my GGD.

It’s ended up with the birth mother being unable to see her daughter, except under strict supervision, the maternal GM having care and control, daily, and my family (everyone) being given court ordered unsupervised contact of a weekend per month.

But these circumstances were extreme.

As you say DL your case was extreme and the mother unfit to parent but most people don't normally have a say in seeing grandchildren it's at the parents discretion. I never went to court to see my gd, even if I had the right given by the court to see her say once a month, it wouldn't have happened, the child gets caught in the middle and naturally mother comes first, plus you don't know what's being said. Grandparents are so important to us and to them but a lot of us font get tge opportunity sadly. Luckily for me I had two others who I didn't see regularly but they had sleepovers sometimes and days out and I made the most of them. We have a good relationship now.
I really think it best to accept that if you have any contact you make the best of it.

DubAngel

I'm seeing them this week.
So we shall see.

So, curious, how are things going? Did you have a nice visit?

“He's not your parent so I don't think it's his place to start worrying about your feelings,”

Aren’t we human beings, and shouldn’t we be concerned about everyone’s feelings to some extent? I try to consider my friends’ feelings, my coworkers’ feelings and I certainly considered my parents’ feelings before they passed away. Your assertion that the child has zero obligation regarding his parents feelings just reflects a callous and selfish attitude.

Leo, yours is a natural, human response. This nonsense talked about children having zero responsibility to parents so logically no one but themselves, just means lots of selfish entitled people about. Best Keane them to it as there is no reasoning.
I am sorry your wife and yourself are going through this, try to focus on what you do have not what you can't change. It's only Dix months do they might re think.

I never thought I'd see anyone saying that children shouldn't worry about their parents feelings .

DiamondLily

Smileless2012

Grandparents don't have rights in the UK. Any case regarding contact/visitation would be based on the rights of children having contact with extended family which of course includes GP's.

Yes, well as you know, my family has spent two years in court, with social services backing, to have visitation rights to my GGD.

It’s ended up with the birth mother being unable to see her daughter, except under strict supervision, the maternal GM having care and control, daily, and my family (everyone) being given court ordered unsupervised contact of a weekend per month.

But these circumstances were extreme.

Very interesting to read.

Sorry for your situation.

Smileless2012

I never thought I'd see anyone saying that children shouldn't worry about their parents feelings .

Am afraid there is sometimes a certain amount of ‘othering’ towards parents and grandparents, making them seem ‘unlike’ their ACs, regardless of whether they have done anything to deserve this. Is a well known dehumanising tactic used to make certain groups seem ‘less’ than another group. Is ugly and damaging to individuals it targets and society.

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

PoobPeeb

Leo58

“He's not your parent so I don't think it's his place to start worrying about your feelings,”

Aren’t we human beings, and shouldn’t we be concerned about everyone’s feelings to some extent? I try to consider my friends’ feelings, my coworkers’ feelings and I certainly considered my parents’ feelings before they passed away. Your assertion that the child has zero obligation regarding his parents feelings just reflects a callous and selfish attitude.

You're stunted if you think your relationship with your child is at all comparable with other relationships in your life.

Hint, figure out what friend you have that started their relationship with you without consciously consenting to be in it.

Well you are here trying to kick total strangers when they are down. So, your opinion is pretty much dog doo.

Smileless2012

I never thought I'd see anyone saying that children shouldn't worry about their parents feelings .

I imagine this same person would have quite a bit of bad to say if the situation was reversed and someone said parent's shouldn't worry about their childrens feelings......

PoobPeeb

Babs03

Smileless2012

I never thought I'd see anyone saying that children shouldn't worry about their parents feelings .

Am afraid there is sometimes a certain amount of ‘othering’ towards parents and grandparents, making them seem ‘unlike’ their ACs, regardless of whether they have done anything to deserve this. Is a well known dehumanising tactic used to make certain groups seem ‘less’ than another group. Is ugly and damaging to individuals it targets and society.

Whatever helps you sleep at night babs. If comparing estranged adult children to nazis is what helps, then you damn well do it!

Well that one just flew over your head. It's the groups that promote and influence with these known tactics, not the estranged adults. However, being adults, they are responsible for their own choices, despite the influences, so they are pretty pathetic in their own right.

Poobpeeb,
You quote me comparing ACs to Nazis.
I didn’t do that.
You completely misread what I said and I don’t believe it is because you are not intelligent enough to grasp what I was saying you were being disingenuous.
The ‘othering’ of groups in society goes in in every society in the world and it isn’t ACs or Nazis doing it. Mostly it is down to tropes and misinformation in the media.

Smileless2012

I never thought I'd see anyone saying that children shouldn't worry about their parents feelings .

Neither did I! 🥴

Starfire57

PoobPeeb

Leo58

“He's not your parent so I don't think it's his place to start worrying about your feelings,”

Aren’t we human beings, and shouldn’t we be concerned about everyone’s feelings to some extent? I try to consider my friends’ feelings, my coworkers’ feelings and I certainly considered my parents’ feelings before they passed away. Your assertion that the child has zero obligation regarding his parents feelings just reflects a callous and selfish attitude.

You're stunted if you think your relationship with your child is at all comparable with other relationships in your life.

Hint, figure out what friend you have that started their relationship with you without consciously consenting to be in it.

Well you are here trying to kick total strangers when they are down. So, your opinion is pretty much dog doo.

To PoobPeeb: OK, if you insist on being obtuse. I would also try not to hurt my postman's feelings. Certainly I didn't choose to be his postal customer. It's called being a decent human being.

PubBeer

It should be criminal for someone this dense to reproduce.

I can see why your child ended up revoking your parental role.

As the rest of us try to be civil and, as I put it, decent human beings, you just dig yourself deeper and deeper into that hole.