Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

Oh yes Yogin I was glued to the TV while Mr. S. decided to take the dogs for a long walk; I wonder why . Good to know that you're feeling better if not 100% fit.

Your DS sounds like ours. Brilliant cook but oh dear, what a mess he makes.

I needed some escapism, well we both did TBH as yesterday was ES's 40th and maybe because it was 'a big one', we both struggled to get him out of our minds which we haven't done when it's been his birthday for a few years now.

Will there ever be a time when it doesn't hurt anymore and we never cry about it again?

You said it Smileless was a big birthday, my ED passed hers a couple of years ago. It just hits home how much time has gone by without seeing them, and is a milestone you would otherwise have celebrated.
The hurt and the tears are always lurking in the wings waiting to catch us unawares.
Would remember the good times and give yourselves a pat on the back for doing the best you could for him as parents. The rest is down to him.
Thinking of you 🌹🌹❤️

Thank you Babs, I really needed that today xx

Smiles xxx

Well, Smiles this is the month when we got cut out, also my estD birthday, 36yrs, so very much an adult, can't blame her behaviour on her youth.

Washing machine repair man just called to say he is on his way, worst machine I have ever had!!

Evening all.

Smoke bush, Yogin, I will look into it…

I’ve got a lovely new cleaner, giving me a home wide deep clean just in time for Christmas.

Can anyone recommend channels or streaming services with Cold Cases or Real Crimes etc, regularly shown?

Thank you ☕️

Sparkly I watched ‘On the case with Paula Zahn’ on discovery + and ‘homicide hunter’ on crime and investigation.
Both set in the US.
Xx

You can also get ‘cold case UK’ also with crime and investigation.

Sending hugs Smileless 🤗 x

Hi gang as usual lately a page behind..I really don't know when my life got so busy. This week went to chat and cuppa Monday morning picture of the cakes the bakery did for us. The manager of the shop did a Halloween kids party theme.for us hot sausage rolls and hot feta and spinach plus tomato sauce and brown plus the cakes . Always left overs for those who want it . Even the boxes where Halloween ones . Then sit fit .
Tuesday move it or lose it , yesterday singing and exercise today Mindfulness class our last so made chocolate brownies. Then straight taxi taking me to the Brain Charity yearly event . Hopefully see some old faces . Really missed not going . Tomorrow my new dehumidifier arriving . Plus display all my Christmas makes ready for us to display in a road in the village . Roy Castle shop said they will let us have a corner window they can sell everything I supply . Display on 1st December until 6th Jan. Plus there is a quiz for children with clues so they can spot items in windows don't know if there is a prize as will miss my craft group again as it's the same day as my last singing and exercise class.

The 7 of us got on so well at Mindfulness class one suggested a what's app group we said yes so she set it up our teacher is also on it . We are hoping to meet for a cuppa but will be chatting in the meantime. Funny how the 6 of us just clicked and our teacher is so calming and has helped us all.

I hate fireworks. Sounded like I was in a war zone last night so was in bed early to drown out the sound . Been going on for weeks but last night just to much. There is a petition to ban sale of fireworks,only organised displays . But I didn't sign it as it was only saying how it effects animals . There was a box to explain why you wouldn't sign it so told them why . I know animals are effected but they didn't even consider what it does to people with disabilities and conditions.

Smiles and Yogin hope you are both feeling better. One of my neighbours her daughter and family where bad with covid for 2 weeks and a friend who already has health problems got it just before having the jab been ill for 3 weeks . Glad I paid £86 to have covid jab as the government changed the results so this year I couldn't get it free . At least still had free flu jab.
My grandsons has their flu spray up their nose and my daughter had free flu jab at work . So that means my other 3 grandson's had theirs as well. My son and daughter in law always made sure they had all vaccines and like my daughter paid for the chickenpox jabs .

I know some people are still anti jabs but my parents always made sure we have ours we did the same for our kids and I have always had any that I can have . Missed out on free shingles as my birthday was 5 months before you could qualify for free jabs . But I made sure when my brother was 65 last year he went for his . I have to wait until I am 70 for free one . Looked at private but £400 for the 2 jabs is ridiculous. Had shingles last year but got antibiotics virals within 24 hours of the rash so didn't get it to bad.
My sister in law's dad got free covid jab but only because he is 93 his COPD wasn't on the list . My brother and sister in law get free flu jab but going to pay for covid as MS is not on the list.

Annoys me so much criminals and illegal immigrants get get better healthcare than people who are born here or come legally work and pay taxes and NI. And don't get me started on the idiots who go on about people flying the union flag or St George's cross,St Andrews ,St David's and Irish flag can't remember if they call it St Patrick's cross . Here in the north west people have been flying flags for decades . Now some extremists are moaning about the poppy .🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬. I have poppies on my bags all year round .

Smiles hope your light shades are gleaming now . Have decided I am going to get a cleaner from January it's no good I can't do somethings now. Probably once a fortnight for 2 hours . Getting it sorted tomorrow but going with a company because of the way my life works have to plan and have routine . That way someone will always come .
Don't know if anyone here has a cleaner?

Can't remember if I said had results of my MRI . My brain just has age related damage , cervical cord fine but lesion/ cyst under my scalp . When they did the CT scan in January they didn't do my whole head so missed it . Have to see my GP but also going to book an appointment to see my neurologist which will be probably next year. But I am the same and not gotten worse. My GP is referring me for speech therapy but that will probably be next year now. But found I can sing without stuttering,slurring or got get my words out . If my life was an opera have no problems talking 🤣🤣🤣🤣.

Smiles at my singing and exercise class we do a warm up and vowel sounds low to high then back again . All things you probably do . Sang 4 songs yesterday including 7 verses and chorus of my Liverpool home . Apparently there are 34 verses. Bare necessities of life ,with a little help from my friend and thank you for the music . Plus singing while doing exercises but just things like row row your boat etc. Trouble is I am tone deaf but don't care. Our teacher has a beautiful voice plays guitar and other instruments and dances. Starting classes at age concern but it's in the city so can't go . Can't do the 4 hours round trip in a day now .

Hopefully there will be classes local I can join in January. Friend at cuppa and chat gave me the number of a woman that runs a singing group that is a mix of all singers good and bad . But will see exactly where it is in the next town . If it easy to get too will jon but it's at night so will have to see . As I don't tend to go on buses at night not because I don't feel safe here but because I get tired .

Anyway wondered off again me and my jumbled up brain 🤣.

Smiles my son isn't 40 yet so don't know if I will give a dam or not when he is . I do think of him and my grandsons everyday but it doesn't make me sad or angry . It is what it is . At least I know there is no hope of seeing or speaking to him again and that has given me peace of mind . I do wonder what my grandsons look like and the name of the youngest . But my husband dieing hurts me more than what my son has done . Especially as Christmas was his favourite time of the year .But only allow myself to be sad on Christmas eve never Christmas day.

Smiles it will be my brother's first grandchild he never thought he would be a granddad. But they will be long distance grandparents like I was for a lot of years . But like me they will never move from where they live now ..

Yogin sorry you feel it this month funny enough this year the date my son sent the email and later the letter just past by without me thinking about it . But estrangement effects everyone differently . I have no tolerance for bad behaviour plus have more important things to worry about . Decided to let go of hope 2 years ago and been happier. I can't live with what if it if onlies I suppose being widowed at 45 put things into prospective . Plus I only existed until I moved her and promised myself to live my life to the full . Don't want anyone to be dependant on me again nor do I want to be dependant on my daughter . I will never let her go through what I did . But I would do it all again as I can't change who I am.

Hopefully got the right person Sparkly did things get sorted about that interfering relative ?

Already got things booked rest of this month ,things booked for next month and 4 things booked for next year .

Big hugs to everyone who needs on . Never doubt yourself you are brilliant parents and if your kids can't see that then they need to look at their own parenting . But of course they think they are perfect .

❤️

Whiff, what a full schedule you always have, but pleased it keeps you active despite your limitations, dont know were you get your energy from but send me some 😆
Good call on getting a cleaner hope you find a good one, also scan results seemed ok
Take care busy lady x

Smileless, I think the answer is no, you won't forget. Every birthday of my d, is hard, every Christmas, the same. I am resigned it will always be this way. She is my daughter whom I loved for all my life, there is no off switch. Yet we cope, live round that space in our hearts, make different lives, move on.We laugh and are happy but those days are not easy.
Whiff, you are so determined to do all you can and your weeks are full and you have the right attutude. You must take a puncture of the Roy Castle window please.

Whiff your life is so full despite ongoing health issues. Is always an inspiration to read your rambles.
Sorry this month is also a sad time for you yogi.
As I was saying to another member on another thread the other day, the hurt doesn’t ever go away but we make space for it and get on with our lives, we know it’s there but for most of the time we can make the most of things.
🙏🏾❤️

Told you I had been going to Mindfulness classes which ended yesterday. And we started a what's app group. I had explained about my HPX and my life works .

Have a wonderful time at the Brain Charity from 4-7 so glad I went saw old faces and new chatted to lot of people brought home how much I miss going . But will be going to the Christmas event.

When I had got home the mindfulness group had decided to meet up for lunch it's on a Monday. I said I couldn't go as I do sit fit . Family and friends know my Monday and Tuesday are written in stone . My brother and sister in law wanted to come and see me next month so told them any day but not Monday or Tuesday. So they are coming on a Wednesday.

One of them said surely I could give up sit fit once or twice a month to met them but I said no. Once I commit to something I stick to it no matter how much pain or how bad my mobility is I still go it's how my life works . Others with HPX are like me planning and routine is how our lives work and how we cope with our symptoms. After I came out of hospital on the Monday evening. I went to my sit fit class on the following Monday couldn't do the exercises but still went .

Why is it when I explain to people who say they understand they prove they don't. I am not hurt about about the person who expected me to change my life . But disappointed they didn't listen to what I said, they wanted to know about my HPX so explained. I am who I am and others with HPX are like me. We live our lives by planning and routine. I have been going to sit fit for nearly 3 years and I have only not gone if I am on holiday or hospital appointment as I fear if I give up an appointment there it will take long time before I get another one . GP appointments I always make for any day but not Monday or Tuesday.

Sorry to have a moan but feel disappointed. I understood about their health problems and see how their lives work . But this woman supposedly understood what I said but dismissed it .

I get how you feel Whiff. You have a condition that requires you to plan and organise your life so you can enjoy a decent quality of life. Perhaps I wouldn’t have understood it a while ago but now I know exactly what you mean.
Am sorry you felt that your explanations fell on deaf ears, that is their problem not yours, keep on keeping on with what works for you.
🌹❤️

Babs thank you . I had been going to Mindfulness class for 12 lessons . What got me one said what a drama . Which really pissed me off . I am always upfront with people if they ask me things I answer . But always made it clear from the start Monday and Tuesday I was never free . I can do things in and emergency I am not that inflexible. I spent to many decades putting other people's needs first and lost myself . Since my move I found me again and I will not lose myself again unless dementia or Alzheimer's hits me . 😁.

I now have 5 things planned for next as asked for appointment to see my neurologist. Emailed his secretary and had the appointment come through within 2 hours . Said it wasn't urgent and I am no better or worse than when he saw my last so my appointment is in March .

Babs you would have understood as you would have listened to me. As you know with Mr B it's a fight to keep your mobility and with that independence.

My window cleaners brother and sister have revert mostly back to estrangement again since they're sisters funeral . He said if they see any of them out they just say hello. But like he said to much had been said and to long apart for it to be healed. But he is ok with that .

Going to the Royal Castle shop in the week . Have sent pictures of all my work to the person organising the decorations as she said they might like to put some of my things in a different place as well. She will get back to me she is doing a quiz for children with clues for them to spot things in the windows don't know if there is a prize or not but probably every complete quiz they with get a chocolate.

Well better get some Christmas presents wrapped and start on cards as it hurts to write . Think I will have to get a either pre printed stickers or rubber stamp and ink pad in the new year .

Hope you are all keeping well.

Just watched the first 2 episodes of Riot Women in iPlayer. It's not an easy watch but it covers everything that happens to women of our age . Really good actors in it. But I know it covered things that I have dealt with and feel it will with further episodes. It's what I think they call it a dark comedy drama.

Hello everyone. Thank you Babs03 for the real crime program suggestions.

Fire works going off here now, sounds a bit like a war zone. My cats have almost got used to the bangs except when they start up again after a period of silence.

Trouble with an estranged relative trying to influence my GP has eased off and I’m making sure I write short missive to the GP outlining the estrangement apologies for my rellie bothering them and requesting specifically they are not to discuss me with them.

Bought Christmas cards and looking forward to writing and sending them.

SparklyGrandma you sound happier. I hate the fireworks as much as your lovely cats.

If you haven't watched Riot Women you must all watch it . It's not an easy watch but brilliant actors and music .
Plus it covered some things that have happened to women on GN . I know things that have happened in my family .

I haven't bought one Christmas card yet, too many things going on here. Must do something next few weeks. However cutting back on the amount I send, lots I do send haven't heard a word from them for years, it us just I have always done it. Presents just close family. I feel a weight has been lifted.
I signed a petition against the volume of the fireworks being sold. They seem continuous here, no more a few days on Bonfire night, I think whatever religion or reason for letting off fireworks it should be a few days each celebration not weeks. Yesterday in the supermarket there was a kiosk purely for them and the prices were ridiculous.

Allsorts

I haven't bought one Christmas card yet, too many things going on here. Must do something next few weeks. However cutting back on the amount I send, lots I do send haven't heard a word from them for years, it us just I have always done it. Presents just close family. I feel a weight has been lifted.
I signed a petition against the volume of the fireworks being sold. They seem continuous here, no more a few days on Bonfire night, I think whatever religion or reason for letting off fireworks it should be a few days each celebration not weeks. Yesterday in the supermarket there was a kiosk purely for them and the prices were ridiculous.

I agree about fireworks Allsorts, people are still setting them off sporadically here. Is not good with DH because he becomes easily agitated by sudden loud noises, and also goes to bed early so he can’t sleep and have had to get mild sleeping tabs from the GP.
In my day was more about the bonfire, the kids would all collect wood from neighbours and build a big bonfire with a guy on top on the local rec, adults and kids would come to see it lit on November 5th - never any other day - and there would be treacle toffee, parkin cake, and black peas, with jacket pots put in the fire. There would be sparklers and few fireworks but nothing much. Ours was a poor neighbourhood and so I imagine fireworks were seen as too much money out of an already tight budget.
But those bonfire nights are some of my best childhood memories.
I don’t send Xmas cards to many people these days. Used to send lots of them to relatives and friends but sadly many have passed away or have told me not to do so anymore because postage is too expensive and they won’t be sending a card back.
Makes sense.
Hoping everyone is enjoying the milder weather.
🙏🏾❤️

Thank you Whiff I feel happier. Been referred for an op on my thyroid, to spinal clinic re compressed discs.
Had some bad falls, after a bad one called ambulance and the positive to come out of it is some long standing health things are being sorted out.

Which is good.

Got a woman gardener coming tomorrow to plant bulbs - it’s such a hopeful sight, the green tips then the flowers emerging in Spring, after the darkness of months of winter.

Sunny here and 30+ tiny birds a day are eating my fat balls..

My cats get to watch them through double glazing…he he he.

Sparkly am sorry you have had so many health issues. Falls are my biggest worry with my DH, his balance isn’t great and he isn’t good at judging the depth of a kerb or step when he steps down often lurching forwards. He fell most recently when visiting our daughter in Brighton, he tried to sit down but missed the chair and fell sideways, luckily my SiL who was playing on the floor with our GS caught him.
Just love the sound of your cats, bet they are all interesting characters.
Hope you manage to access the true crime programmes.

Morning all

Sorry to hear about your falls Sparkly you need to improve your balance, do a little yoga every day and it will get better. What little birds do you get? I only get pigeons, but some are very pretty, one is pure white, and I call her 'Snow white', she had babies and they are mostly white with some grey, then there's a 'coffee-o-latte' one. I wait till I see 'Snow white' in the garden before I put some food out. I also wait till the squirrels come up to my patio door and 'ask' for breakfast, otherwise the Magpies get their monkey nuts.

Tomorrow marks 13yrs of estrangement from my D&GC, the following Sunday is her 36yr birthday, will not acknowledge either.

I try to hand out my Xmas cards, then just have a few to post. Bought my GD some lovely Xmas PJ yesterday, but I'll give before Xmas.

Hope everyone is OK, not cold but lots of rain! I've just about recovered from Covid. I agree about the fireworks, poor farm animals and our pets shacking with fear it's bad.

SparklyGrandma you are like me find a positive from a negative. The fall was awful but it means you are getting your operation and seeing the spinal clinic . Hope all your bulbs got planted. I can't put bulbs in my garden front or back as the dam squirrels dig them up and eat them. But have shrubs that change colour in the winter plus some evergreens . I don't feed the birds but have my pond and always make sure it's topped up and if ice forms break and remove it . Had mice in my bungalow when I moved here so I don't want to tempt the horrible things.

Babs sorry Mr B had a fall but good save by your son in law. It's not that we fall the floors jump up and hit us 🤣. I don't like true crime programmes. But did watch the drama Pembrokeshire murders with Luke Evans the Welsh actor based on true story.

Yogin glad you are nearly fully recovered from covid. Hope it hasn't been to nasty. Glad I paid for my jab that way if I do get it shouldn't be as bad . Stupid government changing the rules. At least still got my free flu jab .

Thirteen years is a long time hopefully you will beable to get through it and your daughter's birthday. This year I didn't notice it was 5 years until the day after . But did wish my son happy 38th birthday and his second son's 7th birthday out loud as usual in August and he's eldest 9th birthday last month . And the youngest on the day he was due in July he was 5.

It's my youngest grandsons birthday Sunday next week he's 5 . All of my grandsons are close in age . My daughter texted to ask me there on Saturday as he will have a party with friends at a venue on the Sunday . They are coming to me tomorrow.

I don't buy clothes for my grandsons but give my daughter some money for them at Christmas . They are both tall ,long arms and legs and skinny so getting clothes is a nightmare. Plus even the youngest has strong views on what they wear.

The few cards I post will have 2nd class stamps this year. My brother and sister in law are coming next month before they travel to see his kids so he can take their cards. My eldest niece birthday is 20th .

Sit fit decided again no cards and donations to local food bank, but it also loans out prom dresses and suits plus clothes to wear for job interviews. The schools let them know which families need the help . Local clothes shops give end of line clothes and there are some expensive shops around her. Plus people donated suitable clothes in good condition. It's a worthy cause last year we gave £150 but had new members join since .

Had invite from my move it or lose it class for afternoon tea at local hotel £19.95 which is a bargain but can't go as it's the day my brother and sister in law are coming .

Going out for lunch with a GN friend again end of this month then meeting with another one and we are going to a local hotel for lunch. The funny thing is my GN has been in touch with other GN member for ages and asked if she could mention me so of course said yes. They have never meet before so hopefully we will all get on . Have swapped PMs and she sounds like we will get on.

Already have 5 things booked for next year . 3 concerts ,holiday in May and appointment to see my neurologist.

Last singing and exercise class this week. Member of cuppa and chat group gave me information about a singing group that for those that can sing and those like me tuneless. But to far to travel it's at night and doesn't finish until 8.30.

Better go and label the 9.5lbs tom chutney I made yesterday with my tomatoes. Take care everyone.