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Low contact

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Furret Fri 06-Feb-26 08:26:15

Just read an article in the Guardian about adult children who choose to go ‘low contact’ with a parent - usually their mother. While that’s up to them the whole arrogance of the article riled me because it was so one-sided.

My daughter likes to see us once a week at a time suitable to her, but what she doesn’t realise is that suits me down to the ground because it’s about all I can take of her. Don’t get me wrong I do love her but I leave these ‘sessions’ feeling like a lesser person. I was a research scientist before I retired. But she seems to forget that I had a varied and interesting life and she’s now dealing with an old, lesser woman.

I’ve learned to say as little as possible during our visits. I’d happily go low contact with her.

With my son it’s a completely different scenario. Our discussions can wander far and deep and we exchange ideas like adults.

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anotherGran Thu 26-Mar-26 12:45:53

My parents would say the same thing. For me personally, I could take the overbearing-ness and the steam rolling when it was just me, but not when it comes to my children.
Me having children has been a huge stress on my parents and I’s relationship. If she brings up one more time how she thinks my son is ready for VPK I’m not gonna talk to her for two weeks. I love my mom, I value her opinion, her opinion is my child is ready for VPK (she has expressed that and now she needs to stfu) I know my child is not ready for VPK. I have told her the reasons multiple times. I get angry because I am a stay at home mom and are with my children 24/7. I think I know them pretty well, my mom visits twice a week. She doesn’t need to insert her opinion anymore.

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Smileless2012 Thu 26-Mar-26 12:58:31

What's VPK anotherGran?

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anotherGran Thu 26-Mar-26 13:21:23

Voluntary preschool

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DiamondLily Thu 26-Mar-26 15:14:11

Once a week contact, on its own, I wouldn’t see as low contact.

My DD and I, who have a great relationship, rarely meet more than that, unless there’s a problem.

She’s got work and her life and friends.

I’ve got my life and friends.

It’s more about the quality of the relationship.

It’s very sad, whatever the reason, when a parent/adult child relationship breaks down.

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