Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

Grandmama you have come to the right place. Took me months of sending PMs to Smiles before I could post openly . Take your time but you have taken the brave step of posting here . Estrangement has been called a living grief can't remember who first said it but it is just that. You grief for the relationship you had with your child and or grandchildren . Like us don't know why it happened. Our children made their choice and don't care how much it hurts us. But they choose to do this not us. But we can choose how long we will let them hurt us.

For you its new. I still remember those early days and not understanding why . But what hurt me most I saw my son on my birthday 4 days before his email. The realisation my son is a cruel coward hurt more than the estrangement. He should have told me to my face . But I know he couldn't have done that . He didn't just estranged me but all our side of the family. I know my daughter in law has always been jealous of my daughter and how close I was to my son . Their dad died when our daughter was 20 & son 16.

Take you time and post anything you want and ask any questions. The longevity of this thread shows how it is needed more than ever. Estranging parents and other relatives has become epidemic because they can do it via technology and don't have to face us .

Ziggy is helping you, Mr S and Poppy get over Pippin dieing . Pippin was there when you needed him most with Poppy after your estrangement. Ziggy will take you all into the future and a new member of your family to love . He will help you cope with your grief and give Poppy a new lease of life as she in a way become his mom . Can't wait to see a picture of him .

This might make you laugh did me. I posted on thread on it was A something can't remember the rest of the letters forum . But according to Barbadosbelle I am rather hard and unsympathetic person and possibly/ probably rather difficult to get on with or please. Did write it down but can't read some of my hand writing . So lovely to to be judged by a person who I have never seen post anywhere before. 🤣

Yogin hope you had a wonderful time at you all day yoga . 🧘‍♂️ My daughter goes to days like that . Also there is a retreat not far from where we live she has bern the last 2 years for a couple of days with friends she made at boxercise class when her youngest was a baby and she could take him with her . He started school in September but the moms kept in touch .
Hard to believe they break up this week for summer hols.
Must remember to ask if she is doing it this year.

Yogin why are you sorry you have nothing to be sorry about . Your suggestion of a stick was kind you didn't know I had been using one for a long time . I call it my third leg. Children do ask me why I have it and explain I woukd fall without it . Then say if I fall could you help me up they say no. The faces on parents is funny but I always talk to children . I have faced disabled discrimination at high school and as an adult. If children are educated about any visible or invisible disabilities from an early age they won't become bigoted adults. I have both visible and invisible disabilities which I was born with . But I am just me .

Anyway better get up as move it or lose class this morning . It was baking yesterday afternoon for sit fit but 10 of us still turned up .
Going to be another hot day take care everyone .

Smileless2012 I'm so pleased that you have now got a companion for your other dog - that has always been the hardest part of losing a dog for me, seeing the second one grieve for them.
Last Thursday I thought we would be in the same boat as you after our 12-year-old Labrador was found to have extensive masses in her pelvis on a CT scan....but the thinking has now changed after a very clever vet spotted something different on the scan, so we are feeling more positive now, ahead of surgery for her later this week. Ovarian Remnant Syndrome...who knew???

stillawipp hope everything goes well for your dogs surgery. Glad you have a clever vet. Fingers and toes for you and family. As your dog is your family to pets are better family than some humans . 🌹

Thank you Whiff , yes we are keeping everything crossed 🤞🏼

How worrying for you stillawipp. I hope the surgery goes well and please let us know how it goes. I never expected Poppy to grieve TBH, not to the extent she has.

Now she's spending all her time running away from little Ziggy which at least will take her mind off little Pip.

I'm hoping Mr. S. will be able to post a pic later.

Thank you so much, Smileless2012 - that’s very kind. We have lost two dogs now, and the remaining ones definitely grieved - we were shocked too at how much. But they soon move forward again and I’m sure Poppy & Ziggy will become close friends very soon

Say hello to Ziggy everyone

Oops, try again

Hooray .

Smileless2012

Oops, try again

SO cute!

PUPPY!!!

(Pardon my fangirling. I like doggos and he is adorable.)

He is so cute . Love Ziggy's colour . He with keep you all on your toes . So glad you had him .

Awh Smiles, he is tooo cute for words!!

Gorgeous puppy - good luck with her!

Thanks everyone, he is rather sweet isn't he.

Had his first appointment at the vets with a nurse yesterday and she said he's the smallest puppy she's seen apart from new born's.

He weighed in at less than one kg and we think he's grown since Saturday!!!

He's the same colour as Poppy when she was a puppy Whiff, but she's lighter now. He's very good, using the trainer pads, missing occasionally but does go to the right place most of the time.

Gets me up at about 1.00 and 3.00 to 4.00 am and goes down after a 5 minute cuddle waking up about 6.00 am which isn't bad but I am definitely not a morning person. It will get easier when I don't have to get up during the night but he's so cute, he's worth it.

He’s lovely ❤️

So sweet Smiles. Well done on uploading pic xx

Smileless2012

How worrying for you stillawipp. I hope the surgery goes well and please let us know how it goes. I never expected Poppy to grieve TBH, not to the extent she has.

Now she's spending all her time running away from little Ziggy which at least will take her mind off little Pip.

I'm hoping Mr. S. will be able to post a pic later.

All went well with the surgery..now just waiting for test results. I hate the post-op bit, when they are so unsettled but she has finally lain down and gone to sleep this morning. At 12 years old, I was just relieved that she came through the surgery ok 🥵

Bless her, it's upsetting isn't it because they don't understand what's happened and we can't explain.

Fingers crossed that the results are OK

Thank you so much ❤️

sillawipp hope your dog is recovering well from the surgery. When do you get the results? She is your family and better than some human members . Fingers and toes crossed the results are ok.

I am on the BHF group for heart problems and a man only in his 50's is struggling to come to terms with recovering from surgery and his dog died . He can't understand why he is feeling depressed told him he has had to come to terms with his health but he is grieving for his dog who was family. He said he didn't realise he was grieving. Had few conversations with him last one said he is letting himself feel the grief and its helping him. I did point out I am not a pet owner but go by friends who's pets have died especially dogs. As they need to go out everyday. He is thinking about getting another dog once feeling better.

It thanks to all of you who have and had pets died I told him how you feel as not something I have experienced.

This group doesn't just help eachother but I have learnt things I have not experienced to try and help others. 🌼

Smiles, your little dog is gorgeous, love his colour, very tiny yet will keep poppy alert.
Hope all will be good for your dog Stillawhip.

I went to the doctors yesterday, just about my toe problem, I asked the doctor [different one] to clarify my cholesterol readings, and she told me my readings are fine at 5 and always have been! I could see the chart she was looking at.

I checked after some on here said they had never heard of such a high reading and from asking around, same response, also going online to see that 5 is good, also that age makes no deference. In fact, people from about 20-45 have the highest reading because of their lifestyles at that age, whereas, as you get older the readings drop, same reason.

Good job I didn't take those statins; I didn't need them.
Should I report the doctor that told me my reading was 12 and should be 10 for my age group, also saying a big NO when I asked if I could lower my reading with food change.
How many other patients has he done this to, freighting!

They must be getting rewarded for each prescribed statin.

Yes, best of luck for your little dog Stillawipp

How is yours doing Smiles?

I remember when I first got Lilly, first night in the kitchen in her nice cosy bed, got up about 3 times to her crying, same second night, third night in her bed next to mine, few days later in bed with me and never left . So, when I got Joey, straight on the bed with me, wouldn't have it any other way now, I'd feel lost if he wasn't there.

Morning everyone.

Hope your dog is OK stillawipp; have you had the results yet?

Ziggy spent his first night well until 4.00 am, in his bed in his crate next to my side of the bed Yogin. I really don't want him sleeping on the bed as I've never done that with our other dogs.

Unlike Poppy who was admittedly at least a month older when we got her, he doesn't go back down after doing a wee so I was up until 5.00 am. He went down again but only until 6.00 am (oh no) but Mr. S. got up about 10 minutes later and I went back to bed. Thank goodness we're both retired!!!

He's doing very well using the toilet training pads with just the occasional accident bless him so all in all, it's going pretty well.

We left the door onto the decking open earlier to see if he'd venture outside, Mr. S. having secured all the fencing so he can't get through, but he only managed 'half in/half out'. I'm not pushing it because I'd rather he did it in his own time but need him to become confident venturing out come the weekend, we'll take him just outside the door.

He's so tiny, even the decking must seem a huge open space for such a little boy.

They do seem to be 'over keen' when it comes to prescribing statins don't they . I know of quite a few who stopped taking them because of side effects. Mr. S. tried two or three different ones/dosage before being OK with them.

How sad Whiff. His dog would have been a great comfort and companion for him as he recovered from surgery. He's probably feeling the loss more intensely because he's been unwell.

I've cancelled my cousin coming for the weekend. We were due to go for the day to Whitby for the day for 'Goth' weekend but it's about a two hour drive from here so we'd have to leave by 8.00 am and I'm just too tired to spend a day walking around and then the drive back. Plus providing meals while she's here for a couple of days.

Hope she understands but it is what it is.