Mum in care home today

Who is your mum's next of kin, and do they have power of attorney, do you know?.
If your mum has the ability to speak for herself, it will be up to her to decide who may visit, and have access to be informed of any issues, or even just to have a chat with her.

I'd phone an introduce yourself; it can't do any harm, unless you feel someone has already informed the home that you're to be excluded.

Good advice here, MissAdventure. I hope that you find some peace with your family, Padine

Yes, absolutely call the care home and introduce yourself.

Has your sister or brother applied for LPOA? If they have you should have been informed as part of the process.

Good luck

In terms of the financial side of things, you may find it preferable to be shut out, because it has the potential to be a real headache.

Oh I’m so sorry to hear of your troubles. You have had some great advice so far. I would certainly phone them and introduce myself. You are her daughter as well. Hugs.

My aunt went into a care home ,two years ago. She never married and has no family except me. She was ill with constant UTI, didn’t eat well and was mostly sedentary. She was in hospital for a few month and then went into a care home. We live quite a way away and it could not have her to live with me as she is doubly incontinent. The change in her with proper care, company and conversation , has been marvellous to see. She is now 93.
The care home are always glad to speak to me on the phone, and when I visit. Visitors are welcomed whenever they come.
So, do speak to the care home*Padine*. They will listen and help if they can

And as MissAdventure says the financial side can be fraught. I have POA and it takes up a lot of time, often at inconvenient moments.
Good luck.

Cossy

Yes, absolutely call the care home and introduce yourself.

Has your sister or brother applied for LPOA? If they have you should have been informed as part of the process.

Good luck

If the mother does not want to inform anybody else, she doesn’t have to.

Hello Padine and welcome to GN.

As others have said,contact the care home, tell them who you are and give them your contact details. As MissA has said, you might be better not being involved in any financial issues.

You say you've been semi estranged from your mum so perhaps you could write to her which will let her know you're thinking of her and give her the opportunity to respond.

Padine if your Mum has over £23,500 in savings then she will be funding it herself. If she is below this amount she will get her care paid for and will have most of her pension taken away to cover much of it.

If you want to be in contact with your Mum even though you are partially estranged then by all means introduce yourself on the phone. You may find though that if your sister has sorted POA then she may have told them that you are estranged and coming on to the scene now could upset your Mum.

Someone other than the one(s) being given LPOA has to be contacted to ensure there are no concerns about whose been named, but that wouldn't have to have been the OP Cossy.