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Everyday Ageism

My first grannyisct attack.

(60 Posts)
66goodyear Wed 06-Jul-16 21:17:48

So at 49 years old and finding myself a Nonna I am feeling good with myself. Fit, healthy, all my own teeth and only a slightly dodgy pelvic floor- I am enjoying the confidence that comes with that.
Or I was until-
The other day I was on a 65 mile cycle event (30 miles too long in my opinion but I was foolish enough to accept a challenge- which is another story) so to lighten the day and help move along the 65 miles I engaged in some moderate to heavy two way flirting with one of the bike mechanics. The sort of flirting that is harmless; flirting that reminds both parties they are attractive human beings; flirting that puts a smile on your face and a tiny healthy (not dangerous is this a heart attack) flutter in your heart; flirting that doesn't involve a mortgage and bills; flirting- healthy happy flirting.

And then it happened.... As I was leaving the flirting ring with my parting dazzling all my own teeth smile and all my own lashes flutter- and no silicone wiggle- and just as my fellow flirtee dashed off his all his own parting flirting shots...

From my friend (?) my fellow female cycling partner,
it came loud and clear "errrmmmm don't forget you are a grandma".

Well dazzling smiles and parting flirting shots all came tumbling down in an instant as the word grandma hung heavy in the air.
And there it stayed.

Does it mean because I am a Nonna I am no longer able to use my well honed- years of practice flirting skills? Because I am a Nonna do I have to hide my silicone free done me proud got me out of a pickle or two over the years body in a shroud of grey smog? Is my heart restricted to flutters that can only be treated with drugs?

I think not. I have spent years learning to live with and feel confident with this body. I have spent years learning to make this body work for me. I have spent years putting this body through the torture of growing up, through puberty, through pregnancy, through the daily grind of daily life. My confidence has taken years of knocks and bashes, it has pulled itself up more times than its fallen and it is now ready to take on the world at full steam ahead.

Growing old disgracefully? Pah! I am not growing old disgracefully like it is a bad thing- I am growing old with confidence and freedom and if that means I flirt and wiggle and jiggle. Well so be it.

ninathenana Wed 06-Jul-16 21:25:48

Heaven forbid that the title grandma prevents you flirting.
Your young ignore your 'friend' and enjoy the harmless fun and if your single it's even more fun grin

GandTea Wed 06-Jul-16 21:36:54

66GY, I'd flirt with you myself, but I would be accused of cradle snatching grin

DaphneBroon Wed 06-Jul-16 23:32:52

I don't know why you refer to this as a "grannyist attack" or indeed talk about growing old disgracefully or otherwise at 49,
You were clearly a very young parent as is your DS/DD and I would take no notice of bitchy comments from so-called friends or anybody.
(However, you do sound as if you feel old, and that needs addressing.)
Wait until you are a GREAT GRANDMAMA!

PRINTMISS Thu 07-Jul-16 08:28:05

I have discovered, as I am sure a lot of older people have, that it is perfectly o.k. to flirt and have a little cheeky conversation on the odd occasion. No-one gets hurt and it certainly makes the day go better. - I thought 66 that you were going to have a terrible fall from your bike - a little flirtation? go girl, make the others jealous.

MargaretX Thu 07-Jul-16 08:46:32

This post is ridiculous, some us 20 years older face really nasty situations.
It is just bragging about how far she can cycle with her own teeth and brilliant smile!

fiorentina51 Thu 07-Jul-16 08:55:05

My aunt is a terrible flirt...and she's 86.

GandTea Thu 07-Jul-16 08:57:44

Margaret, I am more than 20 years older, I can still cycle no problem, my teeth, yes I put them in my saddlebag. (smile is a bit toothless though) grin

Would I flirt with a GreatGrandma ---- sure would, given the chance (now where did I leave my teeth).

Teetime Thu 07-Jul-16 09:15:02

Hello 66goodyear and good post I think I just see you pedalling along spreading a bit of fun and happiness. Good for you keep pedalling.

Mumsy Thu 07-Jul-16 09:18:15

thats the sort of thing I would have said to a friend in jest, nothing grannyisct about it all, let alone growing old disgracefully!

Gandtea I found your teeth wink am returning them by post. grin

spyder08 Thu 07-Jul-16 11:25:06 carry on flirting and carry on cycling..I think some gners have lost their sense of humour this morning!!
As I always say ' just because you have eaten it doesn't stop you looking at the menu'

GandTea Thu 07-Jul-16 11:44:05

Thanks Mumsy, now wheres that Great Granny grin See I can grin now.

lizzypopbottle Thu 07-Jul-16 18:17:22

Sounds like a proper bit of green eyed monster to me, 66goodyear. It's sad that many people live by spurious, self-imposed rules such as, 'people of my age can't/don't do this/that.' It sounds like a recipe for rapid aging to me. Do what you're capable of and forget the number. Challenge yourself to do more, not less. To use a texting acronym, YOLO, you only live once!

merlotgran Thu 07-Jul-16 18:23:26

Sorry, 66goodyear but you sound like a right royal pain in the a**e to me.

MargaretX has it in a nutshell.....Get over yourself.

townie Fri 08-Jul-16 09:33:04

Obviously fine to flirt at any age but the OP reads like a rather long stealth boast to me.

townie Fri 08-Jul-16 09:36:56

I think it's the OP's narcissism that probably irritated her friend - though that still doesn't excuse the friend's snarky comment.

youngagain Fri 08-Jul-16 09:43:02

I can't believe the comments by MargaretX and merlotgran! I think it is you two who need to 'get over yourselves'. Were you always such spoilsports or did you have to practice very hard to achieve the sense of snobbishness that you seem to be exhibiting? 66goodyear has achieved something great with her bike ride and if she had a bit of harmless flirting along the way - good for you girl!!! I wish I could say I have achieved a 65 mile bike ride but to be honest - I can't ride a bike! I have never had one so never learned to ride one. I've thought about learning now but if I had a fall it might prove a bit disastrous! How about sending the mechanic down my way. I wouldn't mind a bit of harmless flirting to lift the spirits. Good on you girl!

Izabella Fri 08-Jul-16 10:00:27

Interesting. I backpack all over the world alone, have a town bike with panniers and a full on mountain bike. I am not, and never have been considered a flirt but last
Sunday at the top of a particularly hard ascent I was chatted up by a male cyclist.

Again, perceptions came to the fore, as when he realised how old I was, claimed astonishment I was still out there and capable of strenuous outdoor activities. It's not the ability or resolve to carry on doing these things that is the issue. It is the ageist attitudes of others who seem to think I should be in slippers and knitting at home with the cats on my knee. I for one like to think I managed to change at least one young mans perception of grannies. And before I am told "it's all right for you I can't do this sort of thing etc etc. I have overcome very serious health issues to get back where I am, and count myself very lucky in the grand scheme of things.

Izabella Fri 08-Jul-16 10:02:31

.... And 65 miles is achievable IF you wear padded cycling pants although a rest period the day afterwards would be a given

Gaggi3 Fri 08-Jul-16 11:21:47

I wasn't a Gran at 49 but was definitely flirting. Don't think age or grannydom have anything to do with it. Enjoy! grin

Lilyflower Fri 08-Jul-16 11:37:15

I'm 59 and I still flirt. Not technically a grandma but I don't see what difference that makes.

vampirequeen Fri 08-Jul-16 11:41:14

Flirt, flirt and flirt some more. I didn't learn how to flirt until I was 47. It's such fun. I can't believe how much I missed when I was younger lol.

Any 'ist' comment depends on how it is perceived by the recipient. Something that deeply hurts one person may simply bounce off someone else. That doesn't mean that either reaction is wrong. Just that we're all different.

I think your friend sounds jealous. Live your life your way and let her live hers in her way. I spent too much of my life behaving the way that was expected of me. Never again. If you like it and it doesn't hurt anyone then go for it.

marionk Fri 08-Jul-16 11:56:13

Lordy lordy ladies, disagreement is good but no need for such rudeness surely. Flirt on I say, everyone(almost) loves a lady with a twinkle in their eye!

townie Fri 08-Jul-16 12:21:25

Not being rude, just don't see why the OP feels the need to go on at such length about having her own teeth (surely the norm in this day and age) and her fitness, in all senses of the word.

And I'm afraid people calling themselves 'Nonna' also sets my teeth on edge a bit. Shades of Mapp and Lucia. Unless of course the OP actually is Italian, in which case apologies.

pollyperkins Fri 08-Jul-16 13:24:12

Well I agree with most comments (except the mean ones) but honestly I think the OP is being a bit over sensitive! I would just take it as a joke and laugh! Although I suppose it depends how it was said. Nothing wrong with harmless flirting whatever your age.