So at 49 years old and finding myself a Nonna I am feeling good with myself. Fit, healthy, all my own teeth and only a slightly dodgy pelvic floor- I am enjoying the confidence that comes with that.
Or I was until-
The other day I was on a 65 mile cycle event (30 miles too long in my opinion but I was foolish enough to accept a challenge- which is another story) so to lighten the day and help move along the 65 miles I engaged in some moderate to heavy two way flirting with one of the bike mechanics. The sort of flirting that is harmless; flirting that reminds both parties they are attractive human beings; flirting that puts a smile on your face and a tiny healthy (not dangerous is this a heart attack) flutter in your heart; flirting that doesn't involve a mortgage and bills; flirting- healthy happy flirting.
And then it happened.... As I was leaving the flirting ring with my parting dazzling all my own teeth smile and all my own lashes flutter- and no silicone wiggle- and just as my fellow flirtee dashed off his all his own parting flirting shots...
From my friend (?) my fellow female cycling partner,
it came loud and clear "errrmmmm don't forget you are a grandma".
Well dazzling smiles and parting flirting shots all came tumbling down in an instant as the word grandma hung heavy in the air.
And there it stayed.
Does it mean because I am a Nonna I am no longer able to use my well honed- years of practice flirting skills? Because I am a Nonna do I have to hide my silicone free done me proud got me out of a pickle or two over the years body in a shroud of grey smog? Is my heart restricted to flutters that can only be treated with drugs?
I think not. I have spent years learning to live with and feel confident with this body. I have spent years learning to make this body work for me. I have spent years putting this body through the torture of growing up, through puberty, through pregnancy, through the daily grind of daily life. My confidence has taken years of knocks and bashes, it has pulled itself up more times than its fallen and it is now ready to take on the world at full steam ahead.
Growing old disgracefully? Pah! I am not growing old disgracefully like it is a bad thing- I am growing old with confidence and freedom and if that means I flirt and wiggle and jiggle. Well so be it.
