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Everyday Ageism

Growing old

(29 Posts)
dahlia Fri 22-Nov-19 15:25:43

A lovely quote from today's "Times" letter page: "You don't stop living because you are growing older, you grow older because you stop living." I have several friends who seem to have decided they are old because they have celebrated a 70th birthday, they could learn from this! smile

Greeneyedgirl Fri 22-Nov-19 15:40:04

I agree dahlia that life is very precious and we should live each day to the full.

I don't mind the label "old", because that is what numerically I am, but I don't let it define me. Some arn't as lucky to have survived so long.

Unfortunately when some reach 70 they are not in the best of health, which can limit activities than fitter older folk can enjoy. It's not always a choice is it?

Teetime Fri 22-Nov-19 15:43:51

Use it or lose it though - keep dancing!!!

varian Wed 18-Dec-19 11:07:34

According to research by the ONS, the happiest people are between the ages of 65 and 74

annep1 Wed 18-Dec-19 11:31:36

This is the most contented stage of life..apart from it's the last!

elastic Wed 18-Dec-19 13:06:28

In a funny kind of way , I am finding life at seventyeight not too bad at all. I think it's because I don't expect so much of myself. You do get tired and so you learn to pace yourself more than you did in the past. You stop sweating the small stuff (ie doing loads of housework all the time) You let yourself enjoy some relaxation.

jeanie99 Sun 14-Jun-20 09:51:06

There is no problem with growing older it's the baggage we collect along the way in having health issues.
If you can still manage to still do all the things in your life that makes it good then it's wonderful.
Unfortunately for some major health issues get in the way of leading the life they want.
I'm 75 yrs old and have a number of health issues but I still manage to do most things I want and have a good life.
I'm a positive person and would do more but I'm been told to realize my limitations. Some days I totally ignore that advice but hey it's my life and I'm living it.

Puzzled Sat 03-Oct-20 11:58:05

One advantage of getting older; a bus pass.
We can go for free to places where we would have problems finding parking, and can relax on the journey and look at the countryside.

You don't have to get involved in rush hour travel

On my retirement course, we were told "You are going on the longest holiday of your life"
So relax, enjoy and try to do the things that previously you did not have time for.
At a combined age of 161 we are doing those things!

Being retired, you no longer have to worry about being furloughed or made redundant.
There is a lot to be said for it!
It is far better than the alternative!

sparklingsilver28 Fri 09-Oct-20 23:48:08

I do so agree with you - growing old ain't no fun but I do enjoy it. Best time of life, do what you like when you like. And tomorrow for what forgotten to do today. What does it matter.

Took a leaf from my DMIL who said to me one day, she then seventy-five and myself twenty-six, "you know you will kill yourself, and for what, since the dirt you sweep up today will be needed swept up by someone else when you have". Wise woman. You certainly live and learn!!

Pavane Sun 22-Aug-21 16:39:36

I am 83 my boyfriend came to pick me up for a dinner date. I was all dressed up, makeup, jewelry, etc. met him at the door and told him I couldn’t go. He asked why. I told him I couldn’t find my teeth. He said well let’s visit until you remember where they are. We did and after a while I did remember. I had cleaned them and then put them on the bed until I was ready for them. They blended in with the flowers on my duvet.
He was 91 and passed away recently with all his original teeth. Now I have my teeth, but no boyfriend. That’s what happens when you date old men. I miss him.

Shinamae Sun 22-Aug-21 16:50:28

Like this……

Baggs Sun 22-Aug-21 18:10:42

You don't stop living because you are growing older, you grow older because you stop living

This is rubbish. Age is not just a number.

Which does not mean you shouldn't live life to the full in old age.

It often means, though, that what you define as "to the full" in your sixties and seventies is a bit different from what it was, what it felt like, in your teens and twenties. A few lucky people might still be able to do all the things they could do in their teens and twenties when they are in their last few decades but in my experience and those of my peers, one actually does slow down a bit and get tired more easily. That's not stopping living (which is a silly phrase anyway).

People who don't accept that, in general, age makes a difference are deceiving themselves which, after covid's demonstrably greater effect on old people, is rather astonishing.

Baggs Sun 22-Aug-21 18:11:45

Also, what happened to the advice by zennish types, to the value of "just be" type of living?

Lucca Sun 22-Aug-21 19:09:56

Well I was enjoying my late sixties and the start of my seventies. Small GC, teaching one afternoon a week, having mini breaks to Europe, Aussie family scheduled to visit etc etc then along came the pandemic .
I admit to feeling very fed up at the thought of winter without the odd trip abroad to look forward to.

Eviebeanz Sun 22-Aug-21 19:17:34

thanks @pavane

luluaugust Sun 22-Aug-21 19:30:08

Now in our mid and late 70's and with the help of the pandemic we have slowed down a lot and hospital visits have suddenly loomed large but we make the most of our time and enjoy ourselves with friends and family. I reckon that is the most important thing just accepting things can be good but different.

tidyskatemum Sun 22-Aug-21 21:17:07

My DM retired at 58 and decided that she was an old lady. From that point on she sat on her bottom and ate cream buns. Her ambition for years was to be a Grandma and she doted on my DC but her insistence that she was old and frail (she most definitely wasn't) meant that she missed out on doing anything physical with them. She developed dementia in her 80s but was persuaded to be more active than she had ever been at 60.

crazyH Sun 22-Aug-21 21:26:01

Pavane - love your black humour flowers

Puzzled Mon 13-Sep-21 10:57:21

We both have most of our hair, (Although the colour has changed), ditto for teeth, the hearing aids ARE a help, and we are still both mobile, on feet or driving long distances in cars.
Hope to travel 150 miles to visit SiL and BiL who are just a little older than us, in their late 80s, soon.

But can't remember when things began to change!

What a blessing to have pretty good health!

henetha Mon 13-Sep-21 11:13:53

Once I passed 80 I now count every day as a bonus. I never expected to live this long. I still enjoy lots of things.

aggie Mon 13-Sep-21 11:33:39

I’m 80 + , I wonder sometimes if I’m still ok , for example , I lost my glasses this morning , gave in and took out the spares . They aren’t as comfortable as the others , did another rootle around , found many crochet hooks ! Went to read my kindle for a sit down , but was feeling restless so walked round the garden , took a pic of a butterfly , shoved my glasses on top of my head so I wouldn’t lose them , wandered into the bathroom . Glanced in the mirror …. I had TWO sets of spectacles on top of my head !

MerylStreep Mon 13-Sep-21 11:38:02

Nah, your ok. My daughter (50) has done that.?

Ladyleftfieldlover Mon 13-Sep-21 11:43:20

I was chatting to a lady in church yesterday. She is tall, , elegant and always beautifully dressed. She told me it was her 80th birthday tomorrow [today] and I said she didn't lok old enough. 'Everyone says that', she said!

NotSpaghetti Mon 13-Sep-21 11:56:04

I think the saying "You don't stop living because you are growing older, you grow older because you stop living." is absurd.

I'm living - but definitely growing older and what I can't do anymore is hugely frustrating.
Some things I didn't get round to (because I was living) and they just won't happen now. None are huge things, but I definitely missed out by not have done them sooner.

Growing old is inevitable - unless you die young.

NotSpaghetti Mon 13-Sep-21 11:57:37


Use it or lose it though - keep dancing!!!

Unfortunately some of us do "use it" and "lose it" regardless.