My doctor called me 'An elderly Lady.'

I got my covid jab booking letter last week together with a leaflet headed A Guide for Older Adults. I’m just 60 and far more tech and science aware than many 20/40 year olds. The language was pretty patronising. What happened to 60 is the new 40??

Urmstongran

I just suppose in medical terms, the reality is your heart, liver, kidneys are 70+ years old which is all your doctor is concerned about. Not whether you colour your hair or wear skinny jeans.
?

Brilliant! ?

If we are purely talking of age, I suppose we all have to admit that we are elderly - after all I shall be seventy this year and I suspect that most of you are either only slightly younger or around that yourselves.

Habit of mind is another kettle of fish. As far as that goes, I don't feel either elderly or old, or even middle-aged.

My body does not always agree with my mind about this, I may add.

None of us like being called elderly, or old, but I think we should try to be less vain about this. How else could we be described? And would we really be more flattered if someone came up with another word for our age-groups?

Could we turn things around in our minds, and regard elderly or old as a compliment on having got this far?

After all, it is sadly likely that we all have lost dear friends and relatives who were younger than we are now when they died. I know I have.

This pandemic is the first time I have been openly referred to as an "older adult"

Venus, you become elderly when you have pins and a ticker instead of legs and a heart. And you "have a fall" instead of "falling over"

I sympathise. Had a minor op when 67 and swear I was put on a geriatric ward ?

Surely we dont need labels? I am 75 but consider myself still young! And I am! To hell with other people's labels and judgements.

ellenvannin, i totally agree, 80 is the new 60!

I really hate being referred to this way as i'm not! Most days! Even worse is being told that something is due to my age when I see people older than me who don't have the same problem. Ageism is rife.

This is an interesting thread. I'm 76 and struggling with/trying to understand my own feelings about ageing. Obviously I'm no longer young, or even middle-aged. Denial is very strong--when I'm told I look younger, I take it as a compliment. I want to pass under the ageing radar, as it were. But I think this resistance to what is a very natural fact of life is largely, in my opinion, due to the negative stereotypes of ageing in movies and TV. I recently binge-watched Sopranos on Netflix. Anthony's 76 year old mother was depicted as mentally and physically feeble, really for no other reason I could see other than the fact she'd reached her 70's and was old/elderly and therefore had pretty much reached her use-by date. As a friend put it, 'she was at the age where you're basically just waiting in the departure lounge. With this sort of attitude, how can active, fit, 70 plus individuals not take offence at being termed elderly?

What’s wrong with being called elderly? It’s a fact, not a passing comment. When the average age of death for a woman is around 83, of course you’re elderly at 73. We don’t live for ever!

I was called and elderly overweight lady who was very fit. Now I can just about accept elderly and fit but overweight, well I am 7lbs over my ideal weight.. I might also add this was said by my consultant who was huge, but not elderly.

80 is not the new 60 FFS!

grandMattie

growstuff

I had my first child when I was 37 and "elderly" in the context of other first time mothers.

I was 30 when I had my first and was "Elderly"

I was a spritely 28 when my hospital records described me as an elderly primagravid. ?. I was horrified.

I’m not surprised you feel affronted. I would too if I’d been in your position.
You are NOT being unreasonable by thinking this. I’m 63 and I still think of myself as middle aged (which is a bit ridiculous, but there you go)

I think the elephant in the room is death, and many of us understandably, don’t want to acknowledge being labelled old, elderly and so on, because it reminds us we are getting nearer to the inevitable. Death isn’t just something that happens to others, although we live much of our lives kidding ourselves it is.

It makes me feel it is so important to live in the moment, because non of us know how long we’re here, however “young” we may look or feel.

I too am in my seventies and do not feel elderly at all. It was with great reluctance that I had to accept being classed as being "elderly" when they started talking about who was going to get the vaccine first - frontline workers and the elderly. However, I am still NOT elderly!!!

Four years ago the hospital oncologist specialist in his report about me put “this remarkable ninety four year old woman.”
My elderly son is 72. My fifty year old grandson and his thirty seven year old wife are expecting their first child.
My granddaughter had her three children in her late thirties.
You are as old as you feel.

I try to persuade myself that it doesn’t have to be all bad.

One famous poet said she’d do as follows ⬇️ (I love the contradiction in the tone of fun-v- the title, ‘Warning’!)

‘When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.’

There’s also Dame Peggy Ashcroft, to my mind at her peak in her roles as elderly women (in India, etc)

grandtanteJE65

If we are purely talking of age, I suppose we all have to admit that we are elderly - after all I shall be seventy this year and I suspect that most of you are either only slightly younger or around that yourselves.

Habit of mind is another kettle of fish. As far as that goes, I don't feel either elderly or old, or even middle-aged.

My body does not always agree with my mind about this, I may add.

None of us like being called elderly, or old, but I think we should try to be less vain about this. How else could we be described? And would we really be more flattered if someone came up with another word for our age-groups?

Could we turn things around in our minds, and regard elderly or old as a compliment on having got this far?

After all, it is sadly likely that we all have lost dear friends and relatives who were younger than we are now when they died. I know I have.

Grandetante, "None of us like being called elderly, or old, but I think we should try to be less vain about this. How else could we be described? And would we really be more flattered if someone came up with another word for our age-groups?"

I think we could perhaps accept being referred to as "Older persons."

Ha ha.....age is relative ! I had my daughter aged 33 ....when she did history at school she came home and asked me if I wore a crinolin when I was younger ! She also said her friend asked if it was her granny who picked her up (where I lived then it was usual to have children when you were no more than 25 ......but yes, I AM ancient ...don't care who knows it .....doesn't bother me at all ......where I live now, I am 'Pet, Petal, Sweetheart, Man...ha ha nah bother !

When my grandmother was the age I am now – and, from what you say, the age you are now – I suppose that, had I been asked, I would have described her as elderly. Labels are not always helpful but I guess doctors need to get a handle on the state of our bodies by reference to age. But I certainly wouldn’t generally welcome being described as “elderly” – even though I know I am!

At the beginning of the pandemic in 2020, I asked my daughter's brother in law who is a doctor, whether his inlaws and I were now classed as 'elderly' the 3 of us were late 60's. The young man looked embarrassed and confirmed that yes, we were officially 'elderly'. We were most perturbed, elderly was not in our vocabulary.

I hate to say it, but mid seventies IS 'elderly' as its a bit over the pension age isnt it? I know you dont FEEL elderly, but if you all in your seventies were 'middle- aged' then wouldn't that put life expectancy up to 140-150?I guess real middle-age is about 35-45 at a pinch, but somehow we always use the description of a 'middle-aged person' as someone in the late 40's to mid 50's, don't we?I wonder how that started..Anyhow, good on you Venus, for the being modern, and hair colouring, i too intend to continue doing so as long as i possibly can, (am only 57 at moment) as our good family genes luckily make us all look a lot younger, Everyone who asks me thinks I'm in my lateish 40's.(i have an eldest daughter 41 this year who doesn't look anywhere near it either!) ?Keep it up Venus!

Joesoap, don’t let a hip replacement make you feel old! I had both of mine replaced in my 30s and am now due to go into hospital for my 8th hip revision to them. I am 77 and don’t feel old - just mature ?