Patronised!

I think this young woman did a good job. Having worked in retail from age 14 and tried to be really helpful to everyone I served, even running from counter to counter to serve the same person on a memorable occasion because we were short staffed..., I would have been crushed to have caused the sort of reaction described by the OP. Now in my over 70's and, like so many people, have just come through the worst 2 years of my life, I welcome kindnesses when shopping because I have lost most of my confidence as a result and would not have taken offence by this young girl's efforts...but we are all different.

I feel I must draw attention to the fact that back on page 2, Scribbles, the OP conceded that she had been a bit hasty with her words, which our comments had obviously made her think about.

It looks like many later contributors haven’t read her last post.

I applaud Scribbles for admitting she had been a little sharp, and she doesn’t deserve some of the rather unkind remarks that have been posted subsequently.

Think positively-better to smile and know you can do those things than have to ask because you can’t, and no advice was offered.

Simple response in many of these situations should have been 'why' (which I never think of until later myself).

Scribbles - poor girl! Would you have reacted the same way had this been one of your grandchildren? She will have been trained to be as helpful as possible and actually I guess her job as a shop assistant, especially selling shoes and having to pander to strangers' feet, is pretty unrewarding. You may well be totally computer-savvy but there are lots of 70+ year olds who are still on nokia phones and think tablets are just for headaches.

Stereotyping is a form of rudeness. Customers are individuals not types.

Buying and selling is not simply buying and selling a product it's buying and selling an experience. I too would have gone off the shoes. Assistant was badly trained.

Poor girl. She probably won’t be that helpful again! No need to be so sharp I think. We are supposed to be older and wiser, they are still learning.

On two occasions I’ve had female sales people direct all their remarks at dh.
Both ages ago now. First was someone quoting for double glazing. She wore a see-through blouse and batted her eyelashes at dh a lot, ignored me completely.

We’d had another quote, much the same, from a bloke who addressed us equally.

When the time came to choose, dh said, ‘I think we’ll go for Ms See-Through Blouse.’
‘Oh no we bloody well won’t!’ said I, ‘not after the way she batted her eyelashes at you and ignored me completely!’
Serve her right!

2nd occasion was when we were selling a house, the buyers were endlessly messing us about, and every time the (female!) estate agent rang, she said, ‘Can I speak to your husband?’

I dare say I should have said something at the time. Instead I just seethed - but also (after even more messing about) I advertised the house privately in The Times - and sold it to a no-messing buyer. Very satisfying!

I share your frustration. I have mobility problems and ordered a personal alarm device in case I fall. An engineer called to install it. He said "Oh, did you get someone to order this online for you?". He looked quite surprised when I said I'd ordered it myself.

How could anyone be so nasty?

Ha haaaaa! That's hilarious !! What DO they think we've been doing all our lives?!? I would be hard pressed to to have shot back at her with " your mum and dad must be glad of you at home? Doing all that stuff for them! Luck " them.......

It was patronising, but I think you overreacted.

Not all all would I have been offended !! I am ancient but I do have skills with IT etc.......ok maybe I DO sometimes lose the plot with my new iPhone .......but anything I need to know is only an ask away .............maybe you were being a tad sensitive !

I'm with you 'Arewethereyet'. The young lady had been really helpful. She crossed the line and.learnt a lesson lm sure, but so unnecessary to be curt with people. There are ways of saying things and getting your point across without being sharp .

The OP's experience exactly mirrors mine. About ten years ago (when I was only 71) I was looking for a dressing gown for DGS but his size wasn't available in M&S, so a helpful assistant asked if I knew someone who could look for it on line for me. I did give her a piece of my mind and I'm sure she would never make the same mistake again.

Perhaps her precious customer had bridled at the suggestion they check on the Internet, and been cross it was being assumed she could and wanted more help? ….

Doodledog - It would have taken a few seconds to ask if the OP has access to the Internet, and offered a different way to check the stock (eg a telephone number) if the answer was no

I agree with Doodledog. The young girl was trying to help but she could have worded it better so that it didn't sound so patronising. The OP didn't need to be so rude. Gives us old people a bad name

Germanshepherdsmum

I wonder if some here are the sort that would give a younger man a rude put down if he politely offered them his seat on the bus? Would that be considered ageist and sexist rather than kindness and good manners?

Kindness and good manners would have asked whether the customer had access to the internet - whatever their age - and then given the appropriate information; assuming that 'old people' are ALL computer illiterate is neither kind nor polite - it's bloody rude..!
I'm with the OP here - and yes, I'd be contacting the store too to point out that, as computers have been in common use for the last 30 years, such assumptions really are patronising and should be discouraged.

It sounds as if you were quite rude to her. Poor girl.

Apologies, the last sentence should read "they ask if customers have internet access etc"

Scribbles, are you still in the same location? I see you said you away from home. If you're feeling a bit troubled about your response, one thing you could think about doing (if you want to, of course, and if you have time) might be to pop back into the shop and either apologise to the assistant in person for your snappy response, and thank her for her excellent customer service, which is had been up until THAT remark, or the manager if she isn't in. And maybe suggest that they ask if she has internet access and would be comfortable accessing it for this purpose.

I would just have laughed and told her I could manage to do that myself especially as she'd gone out of her way to be so very helpful. That way you'd have felt happier and she would have learned a lesson but in a pleasant way. Mind you hindsight is a wonderful thing!

I imagine it was just the way she'd been trained. I think you were a little hard on her, she was just trying to be helpful.
Though it would have been better if she'd said "Do you have internet access, if so then you can . . . .etc etc" In many areas broadband is still limited, so putting it that way no offence or embarrassment is caused.

When picking up my son from school once, I lifted my boot lid to put all his kit in, a father of one of my sons classmates ( nasty bully) saw lots of recognisable shopping bags in the boot.
We had just come back from a business trip and had bought loads of Christmas presents!
He said “ oh I see you’ve been spending ****’s money”
I was furious so ignored him, he repeated himself so I explained it was 2005 and he needed to keep think before he spoke.

Unfortunately it rebounded as his horrible son started his bullying campaign on our son!

His son was eventually expelled.

Over reaction, you should have politely pointed out you had internet capability, thanked her for her help and left the shop with the paper she had so kindly written out.