Patronised!

Me too Ali. I bet that really ruined her day and might even put her off trying to be so helpful in future. I had one client who was often extremely rude. It was upsetting. But he was a good client in terms of the amount of work provided and he knew it. But I’ve never forgotten what a rude b*stard he was, many years later.

I know about 10 people in their 80s, of those only 2 use the internet. Obviously, everyone on here is capable but that does not mean all older people are.

I, also know of older people that use the age card when wanting help when really they are quite capable.

I don't know your age but to 20 years olds, anyone over 50 is ancient.

Oh please! The poor girl was trying to be helpful - I bet if she hadn't added the info and commented that it was there if you needed to get help, she'd have had her head bitten off for not advising you!!!
Customer service staff have to cover so many bases for so many people.
Ok, she could have asked if you had or used a computer (but no doubt that would have been wrong as far as you were concerned no doubt), but do you really think she reads minds as well??
Customer service is a difficult enough job as it is without people getting huffy over a completely innocent comment.
I worked in customer service for over 10 years and really got tired of people with your attitude!

I wonder if you are being hyper sensitive, this is someone who was doing her level best to provide you with what you wanted? I would have just said that I have internet access thanks and not given it a moments thought. I would also have thanked her for her assistance. She would have felt pleased she could help and I would have been pleased that I may have access to what I would like.

Having worked in shops all my working life, I think that young girl was very helpful and didn't mean to offend you. It can really upset you when some customers speak to you unkindly even though you have probably tried your best to help them. I have been sworn at, even threatened to 'get' me after work, etc.
You should of just said it's ok, I can check it myself and thanks for your help. I think that's what that poor girl deserved at the end of the day.

Ducks behind sofa!

Hear, hear Germanshepherd

Remember that really stupid advert on TV about the woman being so chuffed that no-one had given up his/her seat for her.

I wonder if some here are the sort that would give a younger man a rude put down if he politely offered them his seat on the bus? Would that be considered ageist and sexist rather than kindness and good manners?

Can’t see why you’re so upset she was only being helpful ?

I went to the hospital A&E a few years ago. My daughter accompanied me. After examining me, the young doctor addressed almost every question to my daughter while I was sitting there. "Has she had any dizzy spells?" And "What medications does she take?" I was about 62 at the time and perfectly mentally fit, as I am now. My daughter answered "You can ask my mother. She isn't demented."

Callistemon21

MayBeMaw

Years ago we went looking at new cars for me. Paw had company cars and honestly did not know a Big End from an ashtray so you can imagine how we reacted when a (teenage) salesman suggested “Sir might like to look under the bonnet while Madam has a look through the upholstery options”

Unsurprisingly he did not make a sale!

Oh yes!

We went to buy a car for me, chose one, the salesman just talked to DH about the spec then asked "And how will Sir be paying?".

Sir wasn't paying, Madam was ?

But that is a totally different story altogether.

yes it was ageist and sexist...no wonder you felt angry.

I do think your response was a little unkind. A simple "thank you, I have internet access" would have done.

Young people at work often have lots to learn, lots to remember, managers to please etc etc. Give her a break and thank her for doing all she did. Many assistants might just have given you a "no, we haven't got it", she went out of her way to try and be helpful.

most amusing...unbelievable isn't it? We can certainly teach them a thing or too,even if it is just good manners!!

What a lovely girl and what a shame she would spend the rest of her day with your sour words ringing in her ears. Her words to you were positive and helpful. Yours were said with the mean intent of repaying an imagined slight. Grow up!

I have had that car experience about 20 years ago. I always bought our replacement car as dh not really interested.
I had a few words and he missed out on that sale.

Why do people feel ‘patronised’ by genuine kindness and helpfulness?

We all react differently to things, and I feel quite hurt when I am treated as though I am ‘past it’, and whether others would laugh it off isn’t really the point for me.

I actually said to the assistant "Do I look like I'm past it!"

On reflection I could have responded better.

I recognise the car buying scenario. A salesman once suggested to me that I might like to get my OH to come and have a look at the new car I was thinking of buying - at that point my OH was hardly driving because of his advancing PD and I was buying this car. I ignored it, but I think he worked out that I was not to be messed with when I told him (and produced proof) that I had found the same car online at about £1500 less - both brand new - and that if he could match the price I would buy from him but if not I would go with the online car - he dropped the price!

Chardy

A smile and a thank you just means she'll say the same thing again to someone else!
Imo it's the manager's job to make sure the sales assistant doesn't patronise the customers.

My point exactly.

MayBeMaw

Years ago we went looking at new cars for me. Paw had company cars and honestly did not know a Big End from an ashtray so you can imagine how we reacted when a (teenage) salesman suggested “Sir might like to look under the bonnet while Madam has a look through the upholstery options”

Unsurprisingly he did not make a sale!

Oh yes!

We went to buy a car for me, chose one, the salesman just talked to DH about the spec then asked "And how will Sir be paying?".

Sir wasn't paying, Madam was ?

I'd find it funny myself - certainly wouldn't take offence - but I'd point out that I'd ask one of my IT students.

Years ago we went looking at new cars for me. Paw had company cars and honestly did not know a Big End from an ashtray so you can imagine how we reacted when a (teenage) salesman suggested “Sir might like to look under the bonnet while Madam has a look through the upholstery options”

Unsurprisingly he did not make a sale!

I was with a solicitor girlfriend when she was considering buying a large arbour type thing at a flower show. The saleswoman suggested that if my friend asked her husband nicely he might buy it for her!!!! BIG mistake. My friend was very polite and quietly said if she wanted the item she would buy it for herself and we left. This exchange was witnessed by the owner of the business and I could tell she was appalled - as we left she was already bearing down on her employee!