We help our GC financially, and support them in every other way because we love them dearly. I'm sure most on GN would say the same - they have done what they can, just as we did for our children. Perhaps those griping on Mumsnet don't have that support, and have grumpy selfish Grandparents, so feel they have nothing to be grateful to them for. That said, we have both paid staggering amounts in tax and NI during our long working lives, and if I took the time to work it out I'm sure we would need to live to be 100 to break even. For the record we have never had a penny in benefits either.