Why are all the derogatory comments about old grannies never Grandads?

Marydoll

I am fortunate that the GPs I usually see are on the ball and take time to listen to what I have to say.
I suspected I was being dismissed as an old biddy nuisance by the trainee.
I went home, phoned my cardiologist, lo and behold, he contacted the surgery and an experienced GP organised another face to face appointment, which resulted in three different consultants being involved.
I often wonder how those who are less robust and savvy deal with this dismissive and ageist attitude, not only in medical situations, but in every day life.

I was wondering the same Marydoll.

Not everyone, regardless of age, has the tenacity to deal with these situations - and they are often 'hurried' appointments with a lot of information being thrown at you which you don't have the time to digest.

I've found most medical professionals considerate though and willing to listen, but I've had a couple of unpleasant experiences - and one was definitely because the person I was dealing with had an 'attitude' towards older people. In fact, it was that bad I decided to report it, but I was so ill at the time that I couldn't face it and it's too late now. I did however mention it to a ward sister in another hospital who I knew slightly. She wasn't at all shocked and told me she'd heard similar stories and would report it along the 'grapevine'.

Believe it or not, I had a similar situation today.

I had a gas emergency, (very long story) called the national hotline to report it, was told by the call handler to contact my provider, because he couldn't help.🤬
I called my provider and after a 9 minute wait, I was advised to immediately phone a certain number, because it was an emergency. Guess what? That number was that same number I had phoned in the first place and been dismissed.
I read the riot act and defaulted into teacher mode, just like dealing with an obstructive difficult parent. it was so hard to remain polite.
Within an hour, the faulty gas meter, which sounded as if it was ready to explode (no exaggeration) was replaced with a spanking new one. It was my neighbour who heard it, as she was getting into her car.

Fortunately, as soon as I knew there was a problem, I shut off the gas and opened windows and doors. The third and final call handler was surprised that this elderly lady on Scottish Gas' vulnerable list had done all those things, prior to making the first phone call.
Thank goodness I still have most of my marbles.

Unfortunately, DH was on the golf course (there were a few naughty words said) and I was looking after my poorly granddaughter. It was also blooming freezing! ❄
Guess when DH arrived? Immediately after it was all resolved.

Marydoll

Believe it or not, I had a similar situation today.

I had a gas emergency, (very long story) called the national hotline to report it, was told by the call handler to contact my provider, because he couldn't help.🤬
I called my provider and after a 9 minute wait, I was advised to immediately phone a certain number, because it was an emergency. Guess what? That number was that same number I had phoned in the first place and been dismissed.
I read the riot act and defaulted into teacher mode, just like dealing with an obstructive difficult parent. it was so hard to remain polite.
Within an hour, the faulty gas meter, which sounded as if it was ready to explode (no exaggeration) was replaced with a spanking new one. It was my neighbour who heard it, as she was getting into her car.

Fortunately, as soon as I knew there was a problem, I shut off the gas and opened windows and doors. The third and final call handler was surprised that this elderly lady on Scottish Gas' vulnerable list had done all those things, prior to making the first phone call.
Thank goodness I still have most of my marbles.

Unfortunately, DH was on the golf course (there were a few naughty words said) and I was looking after my poorly granddaughter. It was also blooming freezing! ❄
Guess when DH arrived? Immediately after it was all resolved.

Good grief - how scary. Your neighbour heard the faulty meter?

Boy oh boy, you really do have to be your own advocate these days.

I'm on British Gas' 'vulnerable' list - hmm, I must remember your experience for future reference.

This lark of being passed around a ring of telephone numbers only to end up being told to contact the number you rang in the first place is becoming a regular occurrence. As you said previously, what do people do who don't have the mental or emotional stamina to put their foot down?

Glad you got it sorted out - but one can really do without all this trouble. It shouldn't be like this!

With folks objecting to gran being used as a generic term. Has anyone any alternative suggestion. I can think of far worse generalisations. How do you fancy old biddy. Think I’d rather stick yo gran

My neighbour heard it, because my meter is on the outside wall of my house and she was moving my bin back.

This part is slightly amusing.
My neighbour is also the granny the granddaughter I was looking after. (My son married the girl next door.)
She rang the bell and I thought she had had come to visit our poorly granddaughter.
I invited her in and she said no, you need to come now! To complicate matters, DH had hidden the key to the gas box and she had to run and get hers, so that I could investigate.
I then left her with our DGD, while I did battle.

To complicate matters, we are in dispute with Scottish Gas over a faulty smart meter, which indicated we had used more gas in three months, than in the last ten years.
The Ombusman is now involved, because they have been taking £700 out of our bank account over the last two months.
Scottish Gas have now realised we are not a pushover due to teh fact that DH has compiled reams of comparison spreadsheets of our usage over umpteen years and they finallyhave admitted the meter is faulty, but they keep palming us off. Today was the last straw.

What if one was not as savvy as us?

My mother refused to be called granny because she thought it made her sound old. She had to be called grandma. I always thought grandma sounded very elderly and dated so I was always granny.

... so, not only a faulty gas meter, but a faulty smart meter?

Do you know what - I think you are entitled to some compensation, not least for the time and trouble your DH has gone to compiling those spreadsheets. How many people would be able to do that?

You are on their 'vulnerable customer' list - I hope there's a big ring round your name saying words to the effect... "don't mess with this one".

I'm not sure what the benefits are of being on that list of "vulnerable" people. As far as I can tell, the main 'benefit' is being warned in advance by text message of any power outages - something I've always managed to find out y Googling the website. Vulnerable people need practical help - especially if it's an electricity outage and they have medical equipment reliant on it. Which I had at one time.

Growing old is not for sissies - did Bette Davis really say that? Anyway, life is difficult for anyone who isn't physically and mentally fit, and if you don't have family or friends around...

The faulty meter (which was a reconditioned non smart meter) was installed a few months ago to replace the faulty smart meter! Today we got a spanking new, non smart meter!! Yipee.

You couldn't make it up!

Gwyllt

With folks objecting to gran being used as a generic term. Has anyone any alternative suggestion. I can think of far worse generalisations. How do you fancy old biddy. Think I’d rather stick yo gran

Surely we are just older people Gwyllt

I hope I am posting an image - without comment

M0nica

I hope I am posting an image - without comment

LOL!

I love the lady with the red hair holding a tea-plate with what looks like a slice of cake or something - her expression is priceless!

Think it's often used as a term of endearment.
Interestingly in the heading of this thread granny does not have a capital letter but Grandad does.
Also is it not Granddad and Grandma and Granny and Grandpa?
Yes am being pedantic .
It's a fine line between caring for older people and being patronising.
And sometimes we get it wrong.
I think we need to continue to challenge people's ideas but in the nicest possible way.

sodapop

Gwyllt

With folks objecting to gran being used as a generic term. Has anyone any alternative suggestion. I can think of far worse generalisations. How do you fancy old biddy. Think I’d rather stick yo gran

Surely we are just older people Gwyllt

That was my point, too sodapop.

Interestingly, politicians and other high-profile figures are not usually referred to in this way - they're usually identified by their role in society - by what they do, which is more relevant than their status as grannies or grandads within their families.

Why do we need a generic term.

Headline in a newspaper this week. 'English gran found dead, man sought.' The man was her partner and was a grandfather. No mention of his grandparents status was mentioned

I rest my case.

M0nica

Why do we need a generic term.

Headline in a newspaper this week. 'English gran found dead, man sought.' The man was her partner and was a grandfather. No mention of his grandparents status was mentioned

I rest my case.

"Boris Johnson, a blond father-of-three*, is to face a public Inquiry"...

* plus

Since I am not and will never be a "granny" all this stuff is water off a ducks bath to me. I agree with GSM - I dont need anyone to advocate for me. My own Liverpool wit and self belief enables me to do that more than adequately for myself.

So smug in your duck bath biglouis

biglouis

Since I am not and will never be a "granny" all this stuff is water off a ducks bath to me. I agree with GSM - I dont need anyone to advocate for me. My own Liverpool wit and self belief enables me to do that more than adequately for myself.

I wasn't aware anyone was advocating anything at all on behalf of those that don't care one way or the other, rather that posters were just giving their personal opinions on why they are irritated, and why this kind of 'granny-grouping' exists along with all the other stereotyping beloved of the media?

No one's advocating, "silencing", or telling others what they should/can or can't say. It's just an interesting debate on attitudes towards older women and the way they are sometimes represented in the media.

I'm sure most of us can speak up for ourselves - and sometimes do - or just shrug it off if it doesn't seem worth the bother... but there's no harm in debating the matter.

biglouis so if anyone addresses you dismissively as a gran you will be quite happy with it.

Dickens

biglouis

Since I am not and will never be a "granny" all this stuff is water off a ducks bath to me. I agree with GSM - I dont need anyone to advocate for me. My own Liverpool wit and self belief enables me to do that more than adequately for myself.

I wasn't aware anyone was advocating anything at all on behalf of those that don't care one way or the other, rather that posters were just giving their personal opinions on why they are irritated, and why this kind of 'granny-grouping' exists along with all the other stereotyping beloved of the media?

No one's advocating, "silencing", or telling others what they should/can or can't say. It's just an interesting debate on attitudes towards older women and the way they are sometimes represented in the media.

I'm sure most of us can speak up for ourselves - and sometimes do - or just shrug it off if it doesn't seem worth the bother... but there's no harm in debating the matter.

Agreed.

I thought this was just interesting debate, between people who don't ever hear the comments (me), those who care, those who don't, and those who don't even have to be grandparents yet or ever.

Differences!

Just listen Bluebelle, you hear it all the time, in conversation and in the media, 'only suitable for grans', 'somewhere safe to take your gran' ,'even your gran will be able to get here.' Always in a dismissive or perjorative context

Sorry Monica no I ve never noticed it in a put down way perhaps I m concentrating on other things, perhaps I m totally naive, perhaps I don’t have time and energy to look ‘into’ everything said to find a deeper meaning so no I ve never taken offence at these things and won’t bother to start now
I was shocked when I heard some young lads say ‘look at granny on her bike’ and realised they meant me but it was true. I m proudly happy I can still ride a bike and I m damned sure if an old gent had cycled by they have called out ‘look at grandad on his bike’ I could smart and take offence or I could smile and wave and guess which is best all round

We all chose what to be offended by

BlueBelle you are spot on, we all choose what to be offended by. What is offensive to one person is not necessarily offensive to someone else.

Just today a kind young man advertised on my local Facebook page to jet wash for free driveways etc for (unfortunately) any “old dears” retired etc etc.
I responded saying that term might not be appreciated. We may be old, but not necessarily dear.
Other comments on the thread in response to mine include “I call them coffin dodgers””Better than being called an old biddy” “Well that’s what they are aren’t they?” and “They can call me what they like if it’s for free” Laughs all round…

I've sometimes wondered about the comments "little old ladies reaching for the smelling salts" and "clutching their pearls".

Come off it: it's rare, I imagine, for any woman over 60 to be soooo delicate and shockable......

All through the Pandemic there were constant references to "keeping granny safe" and dire warnings that if we didn't religiously adhere to the raft of precautions (the same precautions ignored by Boris & Co) we could be responsible for causing granny's demise, ie: "don't kill granny." It got as blunt as that, and yet there wasn't much, if any, mention of grandad.
Were elderly family patriarchs magically Covid Proof?