I know she means this kindly, but she is driving me nuts!

You're very lucky to have someone who cares so much for you!

It is because she suffered the loss of a parent, and is now fearful about losing the other. People deal with grief in different ways, she now has anxiety about loss. Just keep reassuring her in a positive way because if you react negatively that will increase her anxiety

You don't have to be 'senile' (a word which I absolutely hate) or old to need help sometimes. Yes, you survived before the days of mobile phones, as did we all, but that doesn't mean we need to do so now.

Your 'dear girl' is worried; she's lost her foster father and doesn't want to lose you. Accidents happen and it's common sense when living alone to have a quick means of contacting someone, whether that's a mobile phone, an Alexa with emergency numbers keyed in or something else.

In the meantime, the suggestion of saying that you appreciate her concerns and will do your best to put something in place which reassures her. A bit of understanding (and appreciation that someone cares) never goes amiss.

Sorry meant to finish the first sentence of the last paragraph with "is an excellent idea."

I’d be grateful someone was looking out for me. My only child lives on the other side of the world. No one to look out for me in old age.

A relative of mine (in her 70’s) fell in her downstairs toilet and was unable to open the door. She’s very independent and always has her phone ‘handy’ but never took said phone into toilet or bathroom…..

Whilst she was recovering from that accident (nursing her broken wrist as a result) she’s ordered an Apple Watch which she insists she will wear even to the toilet!

Personally I think your foster daughter has a point. I am only 63 and fell off a raised bed in the garden. I fell on a brick and it took me a whilst to recover. Had I fallen an inch higher onto that brick, I would have done serious damage to my spine. I have my phone nearby now so I can ask Siri to call for help.

One day you might need your foster daughter's help so be kind.

I am 83 and don't have or need a mobile phone. I get lots of funny looks when I tell anyone I don't have a mobile. You don't miss what you have never had, even at 83.

grandtanteJE65 I also do not carry my mobile with me in the house. No pockets or pockets too small neck pouches get win the way and if the mobile rings I can not hear it as our walls are too thick to allow the sound to travel. We have landline extensions through the house. We don't have the luxury of someone checking up on us.

My children bought me an Apple watch for my 70th birthday and although I don't want to admit that I am getting older they chose the Apple watch because of the alarm function.

About 6 months later I tripped when out for a walk, and even though I was near a road with cars going past and drivers stopped to help me, I was so grateful to have the watch because I could have been walking in a field which is something that I do. The watch checks if you need help and if you don't respond within 30 seconds it will call for help.

My children might annoy me at times but I am grateful that they care for me.

I am on my own as well and told by my daughters to make sure I take my mobile with me walking the dogs. They both work and would be of little use to me. I live in NI and they are in England 🤣

If your daughter was a fostered child, perhaps she experienced significant rejection or loss before coming to you? Now she has lost her Foster Dad and may still be grieving for him. She could be very scared of losing you too. Her fussing around you may be because she actually needs you more than you need her!

Consider each occasion when she infantilises you as part of your insurance for your helpless old age. Don't resent it but regard it as what you have to work through to keep her good will.

Earlier this year I fell heavily flat on my face. It took me a while to get up and thank goodness my mobile was at hand. Even more thankful that the daughter WFH answered her personal mobile and took me to A and E.
a friend wasn’t so lucky, tripped and fell in her front garden last November. It was very cold and she lay, unable to move or get help for 45 mins till someone saw her and called an ambulance. She needed emergency surgery for her broken hip.
My mum in law was 24 hours on the floor aged 92 after falling in her kitchen. We lived 200 miles away. We’d been with her the previous day and alerted a neighbour after she didn’t answer our phone call
I now keep my mobile in my pocket but the idea of a smart Apple Watch mentioned earlier feels a good idea. None of us want to relinquish independence but I’d have been in a real mess withiut my two daughters earlier this year

You should be very grateful she bothers.
I thank my lucky stars every day!
I’m sure there are many who don’t have people who care about them who would love your daughter to be in their lives.

Baggs it's unachievable because we are individuals.

Some would not be able to press an alarm if they fell.
Some would reject any sort of additional technology.

You might find it irritating but your not 16 or 48 now. I find a cardigan with a pocket good for carrying mobile phones.

Because we lived over 100 miles from MIL, we were always grateful that the next door neighbour (who was herself in her 60s) kept an eye on her, and looked to make sure that her kitchen curtains had been opened each morning. The neighbour had a key to get in if necessary.

Your foster daughter and late husband may have had conversations about what might happen when he died. I’ve certainly had them with my Stepfather. She might have promised him that she’d look out for you and is taking the role seriously.
It’s very obvious that she cares deeply about you.

I also hate the idea that I need to be dependent on somebody else, but I have to be realistic. It’s not about being thought incapable, it’s just that circumstances can make a situation more dangerous.
At present Alexa will call my nearest ‘helper’from home, but I am considering an Apple watch.

I'm hopeless with my mobile, if I took it in the garden it would probably end up at the bottom of the weed bucket & get composted. My dog sticks to me like glue & I'm visualising one of those St Bernard collars with a little mobile pouch as the easiest way of keeping my mobile near at all times ... would probably forget & take him to the stream with phone still in it though.

You don't state your age, Grandtante, but whilst you describe what you did on your own between the ages of 16 ad 58, I suspect that you maybe somewhat older than that now. And that is the difference. Of course you should aim to be an independent woman for as long as possible; I'm not arguing against that. Just be aware that you might not find it quite so easy to cope with any misadventure now, compared with when you were younger.

rowyn

You don't state your age, Grandtante, but whilst you describe what you did on your own between the ages of 16 ad 58, I suspect that you maybe somewhat older than that now. And that is the difference. Of course you should aim to be an independent woman for as long as possible; I'm not arguing against that. Just be aware that you might not find it quite so easy to cope with any misadventure now, compared with when you were younger.

Grandtante is a spring chicken at 72.

NotSpaghetti

Or just say "yes, I know, I'll do my best - I do appreciate you caring about me". And then at least try to remember to move it from room to room.

I know it's annoying because my adult children remind me all the time about such things.

Saying I will try to remember to xyz generally suffices.

Good advice.
A fall when old can be serious as can a stroke or sudden heart attack.Mum had a mini stroke a few years ago and was able to press my number on her mobile even tho she couldn’t speak properly.
You never know.

I would just smile sweetly OP, and say, “Yes, of course dear” and just carry on doing your own thing!