Limericks - 2

It sure is a grey day outside
So under the duvet I'll hide

It sure is a grey day outside
So under the duvet I'll hide
My bed is so soft

It sure is a grey day outside
So under the duvet I'll hide
My bed is so soft
It's up in the loft

It sure is a grey day outside
So under the duvet I'll hide
My bed is so soft
It's up in the loft
And the mattress is twenty feet wide

I once knew a fella called Sid

I once knew a fella called Sid
At an auction he put in a bid

I once knew a fella called Sid
At an auction he put in a bid
He came away with a house

I once knew a fella called Sid
At an auction he put in a bid
He came away with a house
And a shed full of grouse

I once knew a fella called Sid
At an auction he put in a bid
He came away with a house
And a shed full of grouse
And exclaimed, “well, I never did!”

I once knew a very old bod

I once knew a very old bod
Who kept his spuds in the coal hod

I once knew a very old bod
Who kept his spuds in the coal hod
He said "I find it handy"

I once knew a very old bod
Who kept his spuds in the coal hod
He said "I find it handy"
'Cos since I went bandy

I once knew a very old bod
Who kept his spuds in the coal hod
He said "I find it handy"
'Cos since I went bandy
I've lived on chips and cod!!!

I lived in a mythical time

I lived in a mythical time
When everything was quite sublime

I lived in a mythical time
When everything was quite sublime
The sun shone all day

I lived in a mythical time
When everything was quite sublime
The sun shone all day
Watched the Unicorn play

I lived in a mythical time
When everything was quite sublime
The sun shone all day
Watched the Unicorn play
Plenty enough fun for a lifetime

There once was a lady most prim

There once was a lady most prim
Who wore the shortest of shorts at the gym

There once was a lady most prim
Who wore the shortest of shorts at the gym
The men looked aghast

There once was a lady most prim
Who wore the shortest of shorts at the gym
The men looked aghast
At her great big fat... bottom

There once was a lady most prim
Who wore the shortest of shorts at the gym
The men looked aghast
At her great big fat... bottom
In her skirts she always looked slim!!

My oven needs cleaning tomorrow

My oven needs cleaning tomorrow
Some gloves I shall need to borrow

My oven needs cleaning tomorrow
Some gloves I shall need to borrow
I'll just go to pound land

My oven needs cleaning tomorrow
Some gloves I shall need to borrow
I'll just go to pound land
And hold out my hand

My oven needs cleaning tomorrow
Some gloves I shall need to borrow
I'll just go to pound land
And hold out my hand
And wait with a look of deep sorrow

They tell me bad weather's to come

They tell me bad weather's to come
It's making me feel really glum