Limericks - 2

How late will I stay up tonight?
If i'm drinking and getting quite 'tight'
2 gins and 5 whiskies
Give me the friskies
I know I'll be high as a kite.

I'm having a lie in this morning,

I'm having a lie in this morning,
I'm so tired and cannot stop yawning,

I'm having a lie in this morning,
I'm so tired and cannot stop yawning,
It's too cold to go out

I'm having a lie in this morning,
I'm so tired and cannot stop yawning,
It's too cold to go out
I'll stay here and do nowt

I'm having a lie in this morning,
I'm so tired and cannot stop yawning,
It's too cold to go out
I'll stay here and do nowt
And wait 'til tomorrow is dawning.

My feet are so cold they've gone numb

I’m having a lie in this morning,
I’m so tired and cannot stop yawning.
It’s too cold to go out
I’ll sat here and do nowt
And put up with my pussycat’s fawning

Ann Widdecombe has been released

My feet are so cold they've gone numb
This cold weather makes me feel glum

My feet are so cold they've gone numb
This cold weather makes me feel glum
But some daffies are out

My feet are so cold they've gone numb
This cold weather makes me feel glum
But some daffies are out
And snowdrops did sprout

My feet are so cold they've gone numb
This cold weather makes me feel glum
But some daffies are out
And snowdrops did sprout

Oops! That should have been preview!

My feet are so cold they've gone numb
This cold weather makes me feel glum
But some daffies are out
And snowdrops did sprout
Of natures pleasures there are some.

I'm going to try not to grumble

How late will I stay up tonight?
If i'm drinking and getting quite 'tight'
2 gins and 5 whiskies
Give me the friskies
And I’ll end up as high as a kite

I once took the train to St Ives

I was in the wrong page. As per.......☹️

Back to Jan

I’m going to try not to grumble

Bella, you and me both

I’m going to try not to grumble
Not even mutter and mumble

I’m going to try not to grumble
Not even mutter and mumble
So I'll paint on, a smile

I’m going to try not to grumble
Not even mutter and mumble
So I'll paint on, a smile
At least for a while

I’m going to try not to grumble
Not even mutter and mumble
So I'll paint on, a smile
At least for a while,
It's making me feel very humble.

I really must clean the spare bedroom

I really must clean the spare
bedroom
But the thing is I've blown up my vacuum

I really must clean the spare
bedroom
But the thing is I've blown up my vacuum
So it’s down on my knees

I really must clean the spare bedroom
But the thing is I've blown up my vacuum
So it’s down on my knees
It won't be a breeze

I really must clean the spare bedroom
But the thing is I've blown up my vacuum
So it’s down on my knees
It won't be a breeze
I hope I don't end up in my tomb!

There once was a granny with chilblains

There once was a granny with chilblains
Which played havoc with her varicose veins

There once was a granny with chilblains
Which played havoc with her varicose veins
But she got special cream

There once was a granny with chilblains
Which played havoc with her varicose veins
She wrapped up her pins