Limericks - 3

There once was a woman named Amber
Who was always a bit of a gambler

There once was a woman named Amber
Who was always a bit of a gambler
She loved odds and evens

There once was a woman named Amber
Who was always a bit of a gambler
She loved odds and evens
Just a real pity that then

There once was a woman named Amber
Who was always a bit of a gambler
She loved odds and evens
Just a real pity that then
She won tweeds and turned into a rambler.

A handsome young dude from Bristol

A handsome young dude from Bristol
Sported plenty of lurex and crystal

A handsome young dude from Bristol
Sported plenty of lurex and crystal
With his hair gelled and quiffed

A handsome young dude from Bristol
Sported plenty of lurex and crystal
With his hair gelled and quiffed
Such a shame that he sniffed

A handsome young dude from Bristol
Sported plenty of lurex and crystal
With his hair gelled and quiffed
Such a shame that he sniffed
And carried a pink water pistol

I once thought I'd start to do cartwheels

A handsome young dude from Bristol
Sported plenty of lurex and crystal
With his hair gelled and quiffed
Such a shame that he sniffed
So for parties was left off the list (ole)*

*Bristolians will get this!

Today the sun shines brightly

Today the sun shines brightly
Making us feel rather sprightly

(Carrying on from FarNorth)

I once thought I'd start to do cartwheels
But just ended up head over heels

I once thought I'd start to do cartwheels
But just ended up head over heels
I'm no good at splits,

I once thought I'd start to do cartwheels
But just ended up head over heels
I'm no good at splits,
Having such rusty bits!

I once thought I'd start to DP cartwheels
While I wearing my smart heels

I once thought I'd start to do cartwheels
While I was wearing my smart heels

I once thought I'd start to do cartwheels
But just ended up head over heels
I'm no good at splits,
Having such rusty bits!
And far too many big meals!

There once was a Limerick writer

There once was a Limerick writer
Whose future looked brighter and brighter

There once was a Limerick writer
Whose future looked brighter and brighter
Her rhymes were so funny

There once was a Limerick writer
Whose future looked brighter and brighter
Her rhymes were so funny
She should do them for money

There once was a Limerick writer
Whose future looked brighter and brighter
Her rhymes were so funny
She should do them for money
Instead of being a heavyweight fighter

Today is so bright and so sunny

Today is so bright and so sunny
The bees are all busy making honey

Today is so bright and so sunny
The bees are all busy making honey
It makes my face smile and feel happy

Today is so bright and so sunny
The bees are all busy making honey
It makes my face smile and feel happy
Obviously I am that one happy chappie

Today is so bright and so sunny
The bees are all busy making honey
It makes my face smile and feel happy
Obviously I am that one happy chappie
Who values all this more than money.

I've just made a large carrot cake

I've just made a large carrot cake
Which exploded and caused an earthquake