Limericks - 3

I’ve been looking at holiday ads
I fancy one of those luxury pads
With an outdoor jacuzzi
Did I hear you say "floozy?"
Shhhh - there may be nice lads!

There was a PM, Mrs May,

I’ve been looking at holiday ads
I fancy one of those luxury pads
With an outdoor jacuzzi
Did I hear you say "floozy?"
I just want to be with rich, swanky lads.

Technology is driving me mad

Technology is driving me mad
Ok when it works; all too often it’s bad

Technology is driving me mad
Ok when it works; all too often it’s bad.
Mobile phone on the blink

Technology is driving me mad
Ok when it works; all too often it’s bad.
Mobile phone on the blink
Techy pal's in the clink

Technology is driving me mad
Ok when it works; all too often it’s bad.
Mobile phone on the blink
Techy pal's in the clink
For help ask a 5 year old lad!

Now back to Elrel's

There was a PM, Mrs May,

There was a PM, Mrs May,
Who said to those wishing to stay

There was a PM, Mrs May,
Who said to those wishing to stay
Oh do stop your moaning

There was a PM, Mrs May,
Who said to those wishing to stay
Oh do stop your moaning
Grumbling and groaning,

There was a PM, Mrs May,
Who said to those wishing to stay
Oh do stop your moaning
Grumbling and groaning,
It'll all be just super, one day.

What's the latest from Jacob Rees Mogg?

What's the latest from Jacob Rees Mogg?
Verbal gymnastics leave me in a fog,

What's the latest from Jacob Rees Mogg?
Verbal gymnastics leave me in a fog,
He's like a blast from the past

What's the latest from Jacob Rees Mogg?
Verbal gymnastics leave me in a fog,
He's like a blast from the past
But how long will he last?

What's the latest from Jacob Rees Mogg?
Verbal gymnastics leave me in a fog,
He's like a blast from the past
But how long will he last?
Or maybe he'll turn into a frog.

Will our leader ever be Boris

Will our leader ever be Boris
Or one from the back bench chorus

Will our leader ever be Boris
Or one from the back bench chorus
They complain of his gaffes,

Will our leader ever be Boris
Or one from the back bench chorus
They complain of his gaffes,
Less wheat and more chaffs

Will our leader ever be Boris
Or one from the back bench chorus
They complain of his gaffes,
Less wheat and more chaffs
'Splendide mendax' says Horace

One evening the Oscars were given

One evening the Oscars were given
To actors so character-driven

One evening the Oscars were given
To actors so character-driven
They posed and they preened

One evening the Oscars were given
To actors so character-driven
They posed and they preened
While the movies were screened

One evening the Oscars were given
To actors so character-driven
They posed and they preened
While the movies were screened,
But I miss the lovely David Niven.

This year the Queen's ninety two

This year the Queen's ninety two
I wonder if they will have a big ' do '

This year the Queen's ninety two
I wonder if they will have a big ' do '
Polish up the tiaras

This year the Queen's ninety two
I wonder if they will have a big ' do '
Polish up the tiaras
Invite the Obamas