LIMERICKS 5

One day at the start of the year
Bert decided to read through King Lear
But studying the Bard
He admitted was hard

One day at the start of the year
Bert decided to read through King Lear
But studying the Bard
He admitted was hard
The meaning was not always clear

I'm grateful for my educashun!

I'm grateful for my educashun!
It gives me ideas above my station (stayshun!)

I'm grateful for my educashun!
It gives me ideas above my station (stayshun!)
Advancing my own thoughts

I'm grateful for my educashun!
It gives me ideas above my station (stayshun!)
Advancing my own thoughts
To my salary adding noughts

I'm grateful for my educashun!
It gives me ideas above my station (stayshun!)
Advancing my own thoughts
To my salary adding noughts
And then increasing my taxayshun!

I woke to a very white world

I woke to a very white world
Fluffy snowflakes silently swirled

I woke to a very white world
Fluffy snowflakes silently swirled
I made footprints in the snow

I woke to a very white world
Fluffy snowflakes silently swirled
I made footprints in the snow
Whilst my nose was aglow

I woke to a very white world
Fluffy snowflakes silently swirled
I made footprints in the snow
Whilst my nose was aglow
And my tootsies were icily curled.

I could just drink a nice cuppa tea

I could just drink a nice cuppa tea
With a croissant, that’s heaven to me

I could just drink a nice cuppa tea
With a croissant, that’s heaven to me
And when I'm full of bliss

I could just drink a nice cuppa tea
With a croissant, that’s heaven to me
And when I'm full of bliss
I'll give my beloved a kiss

I could just drink a nice cuppa tea
With a croissant, that’s heaven to me
And when I'm full of bliss
I'll give my beloved a kiss
"My cup runneth over" this I do decree

On an ice rink skating can be a joy

On an ice rink skating can be a joy
But on footpaths great care you must employ

On an ice rink skating can be a joy
But on footpaths great care you must employ
Or you'll fall down on your butt

On an ice rink skating can be a joy
But on footpaths great care you must employ
Or you'll fall down on your butt
And may say more than "Tut"

On an ice rink skating can be a joy
But on footpaths great care you must employ
Or you'll fall down on your butt
And may say more than "Tut"
And a lot more than “oh goodness, oh boy”!

There was a real grumpy old gran

There was a real grumpy old gran
Who drove round in an old battered van

There was a real grumpy old gran
Who ate beans straight from the can

There was a real grumpy old gran
Who drove round in an old battered van
It could reach quite a speed

There was a real grumpy old gran
Who drove round in an old battered van
It could reach quite a speed
Speed sign, she paid them no heed

There was a real grumpy old gran
Who drove round in an old battered van
It could reach quite a speed
Speed sign, she paid them no heed
She'd had lessons from Grumpy Old Man

My garden's a-bloom with cream roses

My garden's a-bloom with cream roses
And the perfume just gets up my nose's

My garden's a-bloom with cream roses
And the perfume just gets up my nose's
As I cut some each morn