Limericks 7

So I'll have to venture to Asda
I'll go in my brand new Mazda
It's the chauffeurs day off
Well he has got a cough

So I'll have to venture to Asda
I'll go in my brand new Mazda
It's the chauffeurs day off
Well he has got a cough
so he drove all the way to the Kasbah

A cat learned to pee in the loo

A cat learnt to pee in the loo
But he covered my shoe in poo

A cat learnt to pee in the loo
But he covered my shoe in poo
Oh how distasteful

A cat learnt to pee in the loo
But he covered my shoe in poo
Oh how distasteful
And very wasteful

A cat learnt to pee in the loo
But he covered my shoe in poo
Oh how distasteful
And very wasteful
And quite unnecessary too

There was an old lady from Wales

There was an old lady from Wales
Who hung up her clothes on nails

There was an old lady from Wales
Who hung up her clothes on nails
When friends came to visit

There was an old lady from Wales
Who hung up her clothes on nails
When friends came to visit
She'd say No, Please do not sit

There was an old lady from Wales
Who hung up her clothes on nails
When friends came to visit
She'd say No, Please do not sit
Because we're off to see what we can buy in the sales.

There was a young hedgehog from Cornwall

There was a young hedgehog from Cornwall
Who ate all my flowers with way too much gall

There was a young hedgehog from Cornwall
Who ate all my flowers with way too much gall
"I'm a veggie" said h'hog

There was a young hedgehog from Cornwall
Who ate all my flowers with way too much gall
"I'm a veggie," said h'hog
"I'll hide behind this log"

There was a young hedgehog from Cornwall
Who ate all my flowers with way too much gall
"I'm a veggie," said h'hog
"I'll hide behind this log"
Till it's time for the annual hedgehogs ball.

Have you ever seen a hedghog wearing a dress?

Have you ever seen a hedghog wearing a dress?
No, here they wear onesies when they want to impress

Have you ever seen a hedghog wearing a dress?
No, here they wear onesies when they want to impress
They strut round the garden

Have you ever seen a hedgehog wearing a dress?
No, here they wear onesies when they want to impress
They strut round the garden
Wearing their Louise Cardin

Have you ever seen a hedgehog wearing a dress?
No, here they wear onesies when they want to impress
They strut round the garden
Wearing their Louise Cardin
Who is she?must get one or I'll be depressed.

This talk of posh things are getting me down

This talk of posh things are getting me down
whatever happened to my 'down to earth' town?

This talk of posh things are getting me down
Whatever happened to my 'down to earth' town?
To be upwardly mobile

This talk of posh things are getting me down
Whatever happened to my 'down to earth' town?
To be upwardly mobile
Maybe! Possible! Hopefully! Meanwhile ...

This talk of posh things are getting me down
Whatever happened to my 'down to earth' town?
To be upwardly mobile
And endlessly agile

This talk of posh things are getting me down
Whatever happened to my 'down to earth' town?
To be upwardly mobile
Maybe! Possible! Hopefully! Meanwhile ...
I'll get another drink and my sorrows I'll drown

Sue decided to have a tattoo

Sue decided to have a tattoo
but she couldn't decide where to do