Limericks 7

He once was a gorgeous Adonis
But I wish when we met I had known this
His gums are all bare
And he`s lost all his hair
I don't think the two of us will kiss.

My mum was a one-legged diver

My Mum was a one-legged diver
She'd get you a pearl for a fiver

My mum was a one-legged diver
Who snorkeled all over the Niger

Sorry bradford, we crossed lines. Let me try the next line.

My Mum was a one-legged diver
She'd get you a pearl for a fiver
On her way to the boat

My Mum was a one-legged diver
She'd get you a pearl for a fiver
On her way to the boat
She tripped and went afloat

That woman, she was some survivor.

My Mum was a one- legged diver
She'd get you a pearl for a fiver
On her way to the boat
She tripped and went float
That woman she was a survivor.

She grabbed on to the foot of a tailor ...

Sorry, Sailor!

She grabbed on to the foot of a sailor...
Which turned him a shade much paler

She grabbed on to the foot of a sailor...
Which turned him a shade much paler
He tried to shake her loose

She grabbed on to the foot of a sailor...…
Which turned him a shade much paler
He tried to shake her loose
She hung on like a moose

She grabbed onto the foot of a sailor ...
Which turned him a shade much paler
He tried to shake her loose
She hung on like a moose
"Help!" He shouted, "Where's my loud-hailer?"

His brother was a bookish bloke from Bury

His brother was a bookish bloke from Bury
While his sister owned a shop in county Kerry

His mother she did teach
And his father preached

His brother was a bookish bloke from Bury
While his sister owned a shop in county Kerry
His mother she did teach
And his father preached
A dreary family who never got merry!

So I'm off to the pub for a couple of drinks

So I'm off to the pub for a couple of drinks
It’s just down the road and it’s known as The Sphinx

So I'm off to the pub for a couple of drinks
It’s just down the road and it’s known as The Sphinx
I have heard a tale...

So I'm off to the pub for a couple of drinks
It’s just down the road and it’s known as The Sphinx
I have heard a tale...
Someone poisoned their ale

So I'm off to the pub for a couple of drinks
It's just down the road and it's known as The Sphinx
I have heard a tale ...
Someone poisoned their ale
That put to an end my high jinks.

There worked a pretty young barmaid from Perth

There worked a pretty young barmaid from Perth
With all high spirits and mirth

There worked a pretty young barmaid from Perth
With all high spirits and mirth
Giggles and squeals

There worked a pretty young barmaid from Perth
With all high spirits and mirth
Giggles and squeals
She served jellied eels

There worked a pretty young barmaid from Perth
With all high spirits and mirth
Giggles and squeals
She served jellied eels
While forever increasing her girth

There was a young teacher from Hull

There was a young teacher from Hull
Whose lessons were never,ever dull

There was a young teacher from Hull
Whose lessons were never,ever dull
With flair, dash and style