Limericks 8

My wish didn't come true
And so without more ado
I'm off to the pub
For some of their grub
Then I'll get a saucy tattoo.

'Kiss me Quick' will be on my left bicep

'Kiss me Quick' will be on my left bicep
To find an artistic tattooist will be the next step

My wish didn't come true
And so without more ado
I'm off to the pub
For some of their grub
And a pint of their finest brew

Back to CrazyH:

We'll make a great team, I'm sure

Ooops! Sorry! Back to WOODMOUSE

'Kiss me Quick' will be on my left bicep
To find an artistic tattooist will be the next step
I might need some Dutch courage

'Kiss me Quick' will be on my left bicep
To find an artistic tattooist will be the next step
I might need some Dutch courage
Some booze with my porridge

'Kiss me Quick' will be on my left bicep
To find an artistic tattooist will be the next step
I might need some Dutch courage
Some booze with my porridge
Before letting the needle near my right tricep

A lovely young lady from Leicester

A lovely young lady from Leicester
Had a tattoo which had started to fester

A lovely young lady from Leicester
Had a tattoo which had started to fester
She looked down in alarm

A lovely young lady from Leicester
Had a tattoo which had started to fester
She looked down in alarm
The whole length of her arm

A lovely young lady from Leicester
Had a tattoo which had started to fester
She looked down in alarm
The whole length of her arm
And a policeman appeared to arrest her.

He said 'Madam, you look like a danger'

He said "Madam, you look like a danger"
She said "How do you know? I`m a stranger"

He said "Madam, you look like a danger"
She said "How do you know? I`m a stranger"
He said "It's your scowl."

He said "Madam, you look like a danger"
She said "How do you know? I`m a stranger"
He said "It's your scowl.
I caught you on the prowl"

He said "Madam, you look like a danger"
She said "How do you know? I`m a stranger"
He said "It's your scowl.
I caught you on the prowl"
She said "who do you think you are, a ranger?"

There's a haunted house at the end of the lane

There's a haunted house at the end of the lane
Living there is an old lady called Mary Jane

There's a haunted house at the end of the lane
Living there is an old lady called Mary Jane
Rumour has it, she frets all day

There's a haunted house at the end of the lane
Living there is an old lady called Mary Jane
Rumour has it, she frets all day
About her man who ran away

There's a haunted house at the end of the lane
Living there is an old lady called Mary Jane
Rumour has it, she frets all day
About her man who ran away
But groans can be heard coming from the drain.

Children dare each other to knock on her door

Children dare each other to knock on her door
When they peep in, they see her lying on the floor

Children dare each other to knock on her door
When they peep in, they see her lying on the floor
One runs for help

Children dare each other to knock on her door
When they peep in, they see her lying on the floor
One runs for help
Her dog began to yelp

Children dare each other to knock on her door
When they peep in, they see her lying on the floor
One runs for help
Her dog began to yelp
Then suddenly from inside, they hear a snore

The old lady jumped up and started to scream

The old lady jumped up and started to scream
They'd disturbed her in a most wonderful dream