Limericks 8

An eccentric old lady called Doris
In her bedroom kept Boris the Loris
His big, black eye peepers

An eccentric old lady called Doris
In her bedroom kept Boris the Loris
His big, black eye peepers
Gave me the creepers

An eccentric old lady called Doris
In her bedroom kept Boris the Loris
His big, black eye peepers
Gave me the creepers
But he's handsome to girlfriend Dolores

There's a young estate agent in Crewe

There's a young estate agent in Crewe
Who flogs thousands of flats, old and new

There's a young estate agent in Crewe
Who flogs thousands of flats, old and new
There's one on his window

There's a young estate agent in Crewe
Who flogs thousands of flats, old and new
There's one on his window
Owned by Archie McIndoe

There's a young estate agent in Crewe
Who flogs thousands of flats, old and new
There's one in his window
Owned by Archie McIndoe
Which has a most surprising view.

It overlooks a holiday camp

It overlooks a holiday camp
Don't buy it, it's got rising damp

It overlooks a holiday camp
Don't buy it, it's got rising damp
There's one by the river

It overlooks a holiday camp
Don't buy it, it's got rising damp
There's one by the river
With long grass a-quiver

It overlooks a holiday camp
Don't buy it, it's got rising damp
There's one by the river
With long grass a-quiver
No fear, I've heard it's occupied by a tramp

We fancied a top floor flat

WE FANCIED A TOP FLOOR FLAT
WITH A BALCONY AND ALL THAT

We fancied a top floor flat
With a balcony and all that
We thought a view

WE FANCIED A TOP FLOOR FLAT
WITH A BALCONY AND ALL THAT
No need to shout?

We fancied a top floor flat
With a balcony and all that
We thought a view
And a swimming pool too

SORRY! Oops! Crazy H☹️?

We fancied a top floor flat
With a balcony and all that
We thought a view
And a swimming pool too
Would be the perfect format!

So we put down a hefty deposit

So we put down a hefty deposit
But then we lost it

Lines 1,2 and 5 should be approx the same length

So we put down a hefty deposit
But unfortunately then we lost it

So we put down a hefty deposit
But unfortunately then we lost it
We got gazumped

So we put down a hefty deposit
But unfortunately then we lost it
We got gazumped
Up the price jumped

So we put down a hefty deposit
But unfortunately then we lost it
We got gazumped
Up the price jumped
And we were forced out of the market

Our dream home had been lost

Our dream home had been lost
No time to count the cost

Our dream home has been lost
No time to count the cost
We'll start the search again

Our dream home has been lost
No time to count the cost
We'll start the search again
For our own little den