Limericks 9

An eager young doctor from Kent
Had a nose that was terribly bent
It veered off to the west

An eager young doctor from Kent
Had a nose that was terribly bent
It veered off to the west
Dropping down to his vest

An eager young doctor from Kent
Had a nose that was terribly bent
He could sniff to the left

An eager young doctor from Kent
Had a nose that was terribly bent
It veered off to the west
Dropping down to his vest
And under his arm it went.

The only thing he could sniff

The only thing he could sniff
Was his armpit, and Oh! What a whiff!

The only thing he could sniff
Was his armpit, and Oh! What a whiff!
Someone find me a peg

The only thing he could sniff
Was his armpit, and Oh! What a whiff!
Someone find me a peg
And quickly I beg

The only thing he could sniff
Was his armpit, and Oh! What a whiff!
Someone find me a peg
And quickly I beg
While I tie this pit hair in a quiff.

My man's just done the daftest thing

My man's just done the daftest thing
He's gone and bought himself a swing

My man's just done the daftest thing
He's gone and bought himself a swing
He's young at heart

My man's just done the daftest thing
He's gone and bought himself a swing
He's young at heart
Though at times an old f--t ( sorry!)

My man's just done the daftest thing
He's gone and bought himself a swing
He's young at heart
Though at times an old fart
He swung too high, it went PING!

That swing, it flung him so high in the air

That swing, it flung him so high in the air
Passing aircraft must really beware

That swing, it flung him so high in the air
Passing aircraft must really beware
Airline pilots might faint

That swing, it flung him so high in the air
Passing aircraft must really beware
Airline pilots might faint
Mind that cloud with the saint!

That swing, it flung him so high in the air
Passing aircraft must really beware
Airline pilots might faint
Mind that cloud with the saint!
Knock on Peter's door, if you dare.

I'm afraid St Peter will have to wait

I'm afraid St Peter will have to wait
I'm not ready for the Pearly Gate

I'm afraid St Peter will have to wait
I'm not ready for the Pearly Gate
I still have some plans

I'm afraid St Peter will have to wait
I'm not ready for the Pearly Gate
I still have some plans
Just need a pot of money in my hands

I'm afraid St Peter will have to wait
I'm not ready for the Pearly Gate
I still have some plans
Just need a pot of money in my hands
Does God provide - or will Fate?

They say there's a rainbow with gold

They say there's a rainbow with gold
At the end, there's a pot I've been told

They say there's a rainbow with gold
At the end, there's a pot I've been told
I'll search till I find it

They say there's a rainbow with gold
At the end, there's a pot I've been told
I'll search till I find it
The work - I don’t mind it

They say there's a rainbow with gold
At the end, there's a pot I've been told
I'll search till I find it
The work - I don’t mind it
Success will bring a sight to behold!

So I dug in the earth all around

So I dug in the earth all around
And left it all in a mound