LIMERICKS WITH VERY STRICT RULES - 88558 - (3)

Though my aspirations were high
My report says 'Really must try'

Though my aspirations were high
My report says, 'Really must try'
At maths she's so bad

Though my aspirations were high
My report says, “Really must try”
At maths she’s so bad
It’s really quite sad

Though my aspirations were high
My report says, “Really must try”
At maths she’s so bad
It’s really quite sad
She can't even calculate pi!

And yet I became very rich

And yet I became very rich
For business I’d perfectly pitch

And yet I became very rich
For business I’d perfectly pitch
My words were so glib

And yet I became very rich
For business I’d perfectly pitch
My words were so glib
So easy to fib

And yet I became very rich
For business I’d perfectly pitch
My words were so glib
So easy to fib
Many people think I'm a bitch.

But I've a big house and posh car

But I've a big house and posh car
I jet off to places afar

But I've a big house and posh car
I jet off to places afar
I may use the yacht

But I've a big house and posh car
I jet off to places afar
I may use the yacht
The best one I've got

But I've a big house and posh car
I jet off to places afar
I may use the yacht
The best one I've got
Folk call me 'Moneybags' oh yah.

My new yacht needs a special name

My new yacht needs a special name
Something that will equal my fame

My new yacht needs a special name
Something that will equal my fame
That everyone knows

My new yacht needs a special name
Something that will equal my fame
That everyone knows
And there I will pose

My new yacht needs a special name
Something that will equal my fame
That everyone knows
And there I will pose
A dinghy just isn’t the same

Then off in to the tropics I’ll sail

Then off to the tropics I’ll sail.

Then off to the tropics I’ll sail
We’ll get there, surely without fail

Then off to the tropics I’ll sail
We’ll get there, surely without fail
I'll steer by the stars

Then off to the tropics I’ll sail
We’ll get there, surely without fail
I'll steer by the stars
I’ll look out for Mars

Then off to the tropics I’ll sail
We’ll get there, surely without fail
I'll steer by the stars
I’ll look out for Mars
(Does anyone know how to bail?)

The water is up to my knees!

The water is up to my knees!
Oh, someone, respond to my pleas

The water is up to my knees
Oh, someone, respond to my pleas
Don’t know what to do

The water is up to my knees
Oh, someone, respond to my pleas
Don’t know what to do
Help! I need the loo

The water is up to my knees
Oh, someone, respond to my pleas
Don`t know what to do
Help! I need the loo
It`s wet, they won`t notice my wees

The coastguard is on his way now