LIMERICKS WITH VERY STRICT RULES - 88558 - (3)

Lucille had a large derriere
And, really, she just did not care
It wobbled and bounced
And was so pronounced

Lucille had a large derriere
And, really, she just did not care
It wobbled and bounced
And was so pronounced
She took loads of selfies, so there!

She liked big thick dark eyebrows too

She liked big thick dark eyebrows too
And hers were an odd shade of blue

She liked big thick dark eyebrows too
And hers were an odd shade of blue
Perhaps she dyed them?

She liked big thick dark eyebrows too
And hers were an odd shade of blue
Perhaps she dyed them?
I can`t abide them!

She liked big thick dark eyebrows too
And hers were an odd shade of blue
Perhaps she dyed them?
I can`t abide them!
They look like they're attached with glue.

Now I look like Marilyn Monroe

Now I look like Marilyn Monroe
Or so I was told long ago

Now I look like Marilyn Monroe
Or so I was told long ago
Breasts down to my knee

Now I look like Marilyn Monroe
Or so I was told long ago
Breasts down to my knee?
Oh no, that's not me

Now I look like Marilyn Monroe
Or so I was told long ago
Breasts down to my knee?
Oh no, that's not me
I'm still waiting for them to grow.

I'm a lot more like Minnie Mouse

I'm a lot more like Minnie Mouse
Really though the best in the house

I'm a lot more like Minnie Mouse
Really though the best in the house
A big spotty bow

I'm a lot more like Minnie Mouse
Really though the best in the house
A big spotty bow
Red, from head to toe

I`m a lot more like Minnie Mouse
Really though the best in the house
A big spotty bow
Red, from head to toe
Now where in this place is my spouse?

If I catch him with a female

If I catch him with a female
I'll cut off his little front tail

If I catch him with a female
I'll cut off his little front tail
Ooh ouch, he will cry

If I catch him with a female
I'll cut off his little front tail
Ooh ouch, he will cry
His front tail? Oh my!

If I catch him with a female
I'll cut off his little front tail
Ooh ouch, he will cry
His front tail? Oh my!
That’s harsh!! He’s a strapping young male!!

I’m frigid, so send him to me

I’m frigid, so send him to me
So nothing will happen, tee hee,

I’m frigid, so send him to me
So nothing will happen, tee hee,
Ah,but then again

I’m frigid, so send him to me
So nothing will happen, tee hee,
Ah,but then again,
Abstinence can wane

Ah,but then again,
Abstinence can wane

And I can be a little bit vain

I’m frigid, so send him to me
So nothing will happen, tee hee,
Ah,but then again,
Abstinence can wane
And fires can ignite, wait and see.

I relish a difficult task

I relish a difficult task
What on earth do you think he'd ask

I relish a difficult task
What on earth do you think he'd ask
Secret fantasies?