July 21 Limericks

Try a hair of the dog, they said
It'll do wonders for your street cred
Although he passed out
After whizzing about

Try a hair of the dog, they said
It'll do wonders for your street cred
Although he passed out
After whizzing about
And some of us thought he was dead!

He says that no more will he drink

He says that no more will he drink
He knows that he’d been on the brink

He says that no more will he drink
He knows that he’d been on the brink
So he'll climb on the wagon

He says that no more will he drink
He knows that he’d been on the brink
He'll climb on the wagon
Throw out a flagon

He says that no more will he drink
He knows that he’d been on the brink
He'll climb on the wagon
Throw out a flagon
In his armour he’d found the chink

As soon as the sun starts to shine

As soon as the sun starts to shine
Aches disappear and I’m quite fine

As soon as the sun starts to shine
Aches disappear and I'm quite fine
I soak up the rays

As soon as the sun starts to shine
Aches disappear and I'm quite fine
I soak up the rays
And loosen my stays

As soon as the sun starts to shine
Aches disappear and I'm quite fine
I soak up the rays
And loosen my stays
And give no thought to my waistline

Now where did I put that deckchair?

Now where did I put that deckchair?
I'll go out to bask in the air

Now where did I put that deckchair?
I'll go out to bask in the air
I’d love to go buff

Now where did I put that deckchair?
I'll go out to bask in the air
I’d love to go buff
But I look quite rough

Now where did I put that deckchair?
I'll go out to bask in the air
I’d love to go buff
But I look quite rough
I wish that I just didn’t care.

A chiropractor from Belfast

Now where did I put that deckchair?
I'll go out to bask in the air
I'd like to go buff
But I look quite rough
So I better not dare to bare!

I fancy an all over tan

I fancy an all over tan
You’ll surely need more than one can

I fancy an all over tan
You’ll surely need more than one can
And someone who’ll spray

I fancy an all over tan
You’ll surely need more than one can
And someone who’ll spray
And wash stains away

I fancy an all over tan
You’ll surely need more than one can
And someone who’ll spray
And wash stains away
It sounds like a really good plan

I'll go to the beach

[sorry Salti. Will alter your line slightly to fit limerick pattern of 88558 syllables ]

I'd sure like to go to the beach
And maritime history I'd teach

I'd sure like to go to the beach
And maritime history I'd teach
They'd all be enthralled

I'd sure like to go to the beach
And maritime history I'd teach
They'd all be enthralled
Despite how I’d drawled

I'd sure like to go to the beach
And maritime history I'd teach
They'd all be enthralled
Despite how I'd drawled
How many young minds I could reach

A master mariner back in the day

A master mariner back in the day
Got lost in the Bay of Biscay

A master mariner back in the day
Got lost in the Bay of Biscay
He thought he saw Dover