Lame Limericks (but they are funny anyway)

Way past midnight and I can’t sleep
So down to the kitchen I creep

Way past midnight and I can't sleep
So down to the kitchen I creep
The kettle is boiling

Way past midnight and I can't sleep
So down to the kitchen I creep
The kettle is boiling
The ice cream is calling

Way past midnight and I can't sleep
So down to the kitchen I creep
The kettle is boiling
The ice cream is calling
More soothing than just counting sheep

Step on the scales in the morning

Step on the scales in the morning
Despite the fact I was yawning

Step on the scales in the morning
Despite the fact I was yawning
That is not right, eeeek!

Step on the scales in the morning
Despite the fact I was yawning
That is not right, eeeek!
Take another peep

Step on the scales in the morning
Despite the fact I was yawning
That is not right, eeek!
Take another peep
Snacking should come with a warning

I've put a note on the freezer

I've put a note on the freezer
"Dont eat any sweet creamy pleaser"

I've put a note on the freezer
"Dont eat any sweet creamy pleaser"
‘Don’t touch the gateau’

I've put a note on the freezer
"Dont eat any sweet creamy pleaser"
"Don’t touch the gateau
Or you'll get very fat-Noooo!"

I've put a note on the freezer
"Dont eat any sweet creamy pleaser"
"Don’t touch the gateau
Or you'll get very fat-Noooo!"
You may end up with a seizure

I’ve just seen my holiday bill!

I’ve just seen my holiday bill!
My bank account is almost nil

I’ve just seen my holiday bill!
My bank account is almost nil
Yet booking next trip (!)

I’ve just seen my holiday bill!
My bank account is almost nil
Yet booking next trip (!)
I must get a grip

I’ve just seen my holiday bill!
My bank account is almost nil
Yet booking next trip (!)
I must get a grip
And stay right at home and just chill.

But that's such a miserable thought

But that's such a miserable thought
Though my balance is now down to naught

But that's such a miserable thought
Though my balance is now down to naught
I’ll take out a loan

But that's such a miserable thought
Though my balance is now down to naught
I’ll take out a loan
Stop using my phone

But that's such a miserable thought
Though my balance is now down to naught
I’ll take out a loan
Stop using my phone
And try myself getting to fraught

My friend loves a full cream tea

My friend loves a full cream tea,
Steak and Chips, that’ll do for me

My friend loves a full cream tea,
Steak and Chips, that’ll do for me
I drool at the thought

My friend loves a full cream tea,
Steak and Chips, that’ll do for me
I drool at the thought
My daughter’s just brought