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Lame Limericks (but they are funny anyway)

(1001 Posts)
GoldenLady Sat 08-Jul-23 14:25:04

At limerick writing I'm bad

Scribbles Wed 19-Jul-23 14:36:49

When I looked after a friend’s snake
It became more than I could take
All over it slithered
With horror, I dithered
As I watched it eating a cake.

The cat sat on the mat and yowled

Salti Wed 19-Jul-23 15:08:09

The cat sat on the mat and yowled
My brother's dogs joined in and howled

Ali08 Thu 20-Jul-23 06:29:58

The cat sat on the mat & yowled,
My brothers dogs joined in & howled,
And all because the snake didn't share the cake!

henetha Thu 20-Jul-23 10:29:48

The cat sat on the mat & yowled,
My brothers dogs joined in & howled,
And all because the snake
Didn't share the cake!
The vet went out at night and prowled.

He was a vampire in disguise

nanna8 Thu 20-Jul-23 11:23:16

He was a vampire in disguise
With pointed teeth and piercing eyes

Mollygo Thu 20-Jul-23 13:57:57

He was a vampire in disguise
With pointed teeth and piercing eyes
Your blood he’s craving

Oreo Thu 20-Jul-23 14:00:59

He was a vampire in disguise
With pointed teeth and piercing eyes
Your blood h’s craving
Without it he’s raving

p0Sy Thu 20-Jul-23 18:19:25

He was a vampire in disguise
With pointed teeth and piercing eyes
Your blood he's craving
Without it he's raving
'Blood's thicker than water!'he cries.

The hose pipe ban is upon us

crazyH Fri 21-Jul-23 00:37:49

The hose pipe ban is upon us
Won’t bother me, won’t make a fuss

henetha Fri 21-Jul-23 11:19:01

The hose pipe ban is upon us
Won’t bother me, won’t make a fuss
Just watering cans

Squiffy Fri 21-Jul-23 11:36:13

The hose pipe ban is upon us
Won’t bother me, won’t make a fuss
Just watering cans
And assorted pans

Salti Fri 21-Jul-23 12:19:33

The hose pipe ban is upon us
Won’t bother me, won’t make a fuss
Just watering cans
And assorted pans
Not the best way to wash a bus

I like to drive my own fast car

VB000 Fri 21-Jul-23 12:23:52

I like to drive my own fast car
A few hours to get really far

Squiffy Fri 21-Jul-23 12:59:32

I like to drive my own fast car
A few hours to get really far
Thelma or Louise?

p0Sy Fri 21-Jul-23 13:21:50

I like to drive my own fast car
A few hours to get really far
Thelma or Louise?
Brad Pitt beside me? Yes please!

lovebeigecardigans1955 Fri 21-Jul-23 16:06:35

I like to drive my own fast car
A few hours to get really far
Thelma or Louise?
Brad Pitt beside me? Yes please!
Is he a big enough star?

About my men, I'm particular

GoldenLady Fri 21-Jul-23 16:07:35

I like to drive my own fast car
A few hours to get really far
Thelma or Louise?
Brad Pitt beside me? Yes please!
I feel like a true movie star!

Do you ever like to play Wordle?

Squiffy Fri 21-Jul-23 17:58:03

About my men, I'm particular
Just the best get into my car

Salti Fri 21-Jul-23 18:05:10

About my men, I'm particular
Just the best get into my car
All George Clooney clones

p0Sy Fri 21-Jul-23 20:25:17

About my men I'm particular
Only the best get into my car
All George Cooney clones
Daniel Craig or Tom Jones

crazyH Fri 21-Jul-23 23:55:13

About my men I'm particular
Only the best get into my car
All George Cooney clones
Daniel Craig or Tom Jones
Or a big , wealthy Russian Tzar

Wish I could have money and fame

Scribbles Fri 21-Jul-23 23:58:48

About my men I'm particular
Only the best get into my car
All George Cooney clones
Daniel Craig or Tom Jones
And tonight it's Brad Pitt. Hurrah!

I found a spider in my soup

nanna8 Sat 22-Jul-23 00:51:31

I found a spider in my soup
As well as pieces of rat poop

Salti Sat 22-Jul-23 09:52:43

I found a spider in my soup
As well as pieces of rat poop
I stopped eating out

p0Sy Sat 22-Jul-23 11:43:06

I found a spider in my soup
As well as pieces of rat poop
I stopped eating out
With their hygiene in doubt

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