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Lame Limericks (but they are funny anyway)

(1001 Posts)
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GoldenLady Sat 08-Jul-23 14:25:04

At limerick writing I'm bad

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Scribbles Wed 19-Jul-23 14:36:49

When I looked after a friend’s snake
It became more than I could take
All over it slithered
With horror, I dithered
As I watched it eating a cake.

The cat sat on the mat and yowled

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Salti Wed 19-Jul-23 15:08:09

The cat sat on the mat and yowled
My brother's dogs joined in and howled

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Ali08 Thu 20-Jul-23 06:29:58

The cat sat on the mat & yowled,
My brothers dogs joined in & howled,
And all because the snake didn't share the cake!

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henetha Thu 20-Jul-23 10:29:48

The cat sat on the mat & yowled,
My brothers dogs joined in & howled,
And all because the snake
Didn't share the cake!
The vet went out at night and prowled.

He was a vampire in disguise

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nanna8 Thu 20-Jul-23 11:23:16

He was a vampire in disguise
With pointed teeth and piercing eyes

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Mollygo Thu 20-Jul-23 13:57:57

He was a vampire in disguise
With pointed teeth and piercing eyes
Your blood he’s craving

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Oreo Thu 20-Jul-23 14:00:59

He was a vampire in disguise
With pointed teeth and piercing eyes
Your blood h’s craving
Without it he’s raving

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p0Sy Thu 20-Jul-23 18:19:25

He was a vampire in disguise
With pointed teeth and piercing eyes
Your blood he's craving
Without it he's raving
'Blood's thicker than water!'he cries.

The hose pipe ban is upon us

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crazyH Fri 21-Jul-23 00:37:49

The hose pipe ban is upon us
Won’t bother me, won’t make a fuss

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henetha Fri 21-Jul-23 11:19:01

The hose pipe ban is upon us
Won’t bother me, won’t make a fuss
Just watering cans

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Squiffy Fri 21-Jul-23 11:36:13

The hose pipe ban is upon us
Won’t bother me, won’t make a fuss
Just watering cans
And assorted pans

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Salti Fri 21-Jul-23 12:19:33

The hose pipe ban is upon us
Won’t bother me, won’t make a fuss
Just watering cans
And assorted pans
Not the best way to wash a bus

I like to drive my own fast car

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VB000 Fri 21-Jul-23 12:23:52

I like to drive my own fast car
A few hours to get really far

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Squiffy Fri 21-Jul-23 12:59:32

I like to drive my own fast car
A few hours to get really far
Thelma or Louise?

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p0Sy Fri 21-Jul-23 13:21:50

I like to drive my own fast car
A few hours to get really far
Thelma or Louise?
Brad Pitt beside me? Yes please!

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lovebeigecardigans1955 Fri 21-Jul-23 16:06:35

I like to drive my own fast car
A few hours to get really far
Thelma or Louise?
Brad Pitt beside me? Yes please!
Is he a big enough star?

About my men, I'm particular

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GoldenLady Fri 21-Jul-23 16:07:35

I like to drive my own fast car
A few hours to get really far
Thelma or Louise?
Brad Pitt beside me? Yes please!
I feel like a true movie star!

Do you ever like to play Wordle?

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Squiffy Fri 21-Jul-23 17:58:03

About my men, I'm particular
Just the best get into my car

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Salti Fri 21-Jul-23 18:05:10

About my men, I'm particular
Just the best get into my car
All George Clooney clones

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p0Sy Fri 21-Jul-23 20:25:17

About my men I'm particular
Only the best get into my car
All George Cooney clones
Daniel Craig or Tom Jones

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crazyH Fri 21-Jul-23 23:55:13

About my men I'm particular
Only the best get into my car
All George Cooney clones
Daniel Craig or Tom Jones
Or a big , wealthy Russian Tzar

Wish I could have money and fame

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Scribbles Fri 21-Jul-23 23:58:48

About my men I'm particular
Only the best get into my car
All George Cooney clones
Daniel Craig or Tom Jones
And tonight it's Brad Pitt. Hurrah!

I found a spider in my soup

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nanna8 Sat 22-Jul-23 00:51:31

I found a spider in my soup
As well as pieces of rat poop

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Salti Sat 22-Jul-23 09:52:43

I found a spider in my soup
As well as pieces of rat poop
I stopped eating out

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p0Sy Sat 22-Jul-23 11:43:06

I found a spider in my soup
As well as pieces of rat poop
I stopped eating out
With their hygiene in doubt

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