Lame Limericks (but they are funny anyway) (

A cuddle is lovely at night
Outdoors in the summer moonlight

A cuddle is lovely at night
Outdoors in the summer moonlight
But it's freezing out there!

A cuddle is lovely at night
Outdoors in the summer moonlight
But it's freezing out there!
Only now, to be fair

A cuddle is lovely at night
Outdoors in the summer moonlight
But it's freezing out there!
Only now, to be fair,
I do look a terrible fright

I’ve never been cute or pretty

I’ve never been cute or pretty
But can be ever so witty

I’ve never been cute or pretty
But can be ever so witty
I have been called rude

I’ve never been cute or pretty
But can be ever so witty
I have been called rude
Occasionally crude

I’ve never been cute or pretty
But can be ever so witty
I have been called rude
Occasionally crude
When writing a naughty ditty

Remembered to put twenty four

Remembered to put twenty four
Little cupcakes, for Chris , by door

Remembered to put twenty four
Little cupcakes for Chris, by door
For his birthday tea

Remembered to put twenty four
Little cupcakes for Chris, by door
For his birthday tea,
Its just him and me

Two ugly sisters from Fordham
Took a walk one day out of boredom
On the way back
A sex maniac
Jumped out of a bush and ignored 'em.

A John Cooper Clarke one, to be honest!

Brilliant, Brownhamster, just to continue...

Remembered to put twenty four
Little cupcakes for Chris, by door
For his birthday tea,
Its just him and me
We were both flat out on the floor

The weather is cold and so bright

The weather is cold and so bright
We had a sharp hoar frost last night

The weather is cold and so bright
We had a sharp hoar frost last night
It made the paths slippy

The weather is cold and so bright
We had a sharp hoar frost last night
It made the paths slippy
But children yelled, "Yippee!"

The weather is cold and so bright
We had a sharp hoar frost last night
It made the paths slippy
Children yelled "Yippee!"
Tommy broke his leg -what a sight!

See the lights flashing up the road

See the lights flashing up the road
I don't really think it's morse code

See the lights flashing up the road
I don't really think it's morse code
A road block? But why?

See the lights flashing up the road
I don't really think it's morse code
A road block? But why?
Ambulance has to get by

See the lights flashing up the road
I don't really think it's morse code
A road block? But why ?
Ambulance get by
Save Johnny he slipped on a toad

Freshly baked bread , sweet smell of joy

Freshly baked bread , sweet smell of joy
Warm for my breakfast, I'll enjoy

Freshly baked bread , sweet smell of joy
Warm for my breakfast, I'll enjoy
Lashings of butter

Freshly baked bread, sweet smell of joy
Warm for my breakfast, I'll enjoy
Lashings of butter
No sound I'll utter