Lame Limericks (but they are funny anyway) (

I'm hoping for sunshine in June
I can sunbathe upon a sand dune
Until washed away
Into the bay
Came home by the light of the moon

Was helped ashore by a sailor

Was helped ashore by a sailor
Who worked on a deep sea whaler

Was helped ashore by a sailor
Who worked on a deep sea whaler
This jolly jack tar

Was helped ashore by a sailor
Who worked on a deep sea whaler
This jolly jack tar
Took me back to a bar

Was helped ashore by a sailor
Who worked on a deep sea whaler
This jolly jack tar
Took me back to a bar
Where his chat up Iine proved a failure

There was a strange post on Gransnet

There was a strange post on Gransnet
The oddest one I have seen yet

There was a strange post on Gransnet
The oddest one I have seen yet
It must be a joke

There was a strange post on Gransnet
The oddest one I have seen yet
It must be a joke
About a strange bloke

There was a strange post on Gransnet
The oddest one I have seen yet
It must be a joke
About a strange bloke
Who went about wrapped in a blanket

A young girl went on a blind date

A young girl went on a blind date
And stood on the corner to wait

A young girl went on a blind date
And stood on the corner to wait
But after an hour

A young girl went on a blind date
And stood on the corner to wait
But after an hour
She started to glower

A young girl went on a blind date
And stood on the corner to wait
But after an hour
She started to glower
And went out instead with her mate

There once was a Doctor called Barney

There once was a Doctor called Barney
Who was called up to serve in the army

There once was a Doctor called Barney
Who was called up to serve in the army
Oh no! He declared

There once was a Doctor called Barney
Who was called up to serve in the army
Oh no! He declared
What’s that I have heard

There once was a Doctor called Barney
Who was called up to serve in the army
Oh no! He declared
What’s that I have heard
As a soldier there's someone will harm me!

There are elephants down at the zoo

There are elephants down at the zoo
On their jollies from Timbuktu

There are elephants down at the zoo
On their jollies from Timbuktu
They love English rain

There are elephants down at the zoo
On their jollies from Timbuktu
They love English rain
But think it's a pain

There are elephants down at the zoo
On their jollies from Timbuktu
They love English rain
But think it's a pain
When everyone yells out, "Achoo!"

While swimming, I met with a shark

While swimming, I met with a shark
Who thought "Hmm, I'll go to the park"

While swimming, I met with a shark
Who thought "Hmm, I'll go to the park"
He swam up to the bank

While swimming I met with a shark
Who thought 'Hmm, I'll go to the park
He swam up the bank
Some water he drank

While swimming I met with a shark
Who thought 'Hmm, I'll go to the park
He swam up the bank
Some water he drank
And suddenly started to bark!