Lame Limericks (but they are funny anyway) (

My cabbages look very small
But my sweetcorn is six feet tall
My pumpkins are green
But not one French bean

My cabbages look very small
But my sweetcorn is six feet tall
My pumpkins are green
But not one French bean
Yet I'm still going to eat them all

My neighbour's got mice in her shed

My neighbour's got mice in her shed
One of them crawled into her bed

My neighbour's got mice in her shed
One of them crawled into her bed
It's eaten her teddy

My neighbour's got mice in her shed
One of them crawled into her bed
It's eaten her teddy
Whose name was Freddy

My neighbour's got mice in her shed
One of them crawled into her bed
It's eaten her teddy
Whose name was Freddy
So she snuggles lil Mousie instead

My mother makes dresses from nylon

My mother makes dresses from nylon
She colours them using Dylon

My mother makes dresses from nylon
She colours them using Dylon
Sometimes it's red

My mother makes dresses from nylon
She colours them using Dylon
Sometimes it's red
Maybe blue instead

My mother makes dresses from nylon
She colours them using Dylon
Sometimes it's red
Maybe blue instead
Like a big electricity pylon

The dog next door barks every night

The dog next door barks every night
He's great at giving thieves a fright

The dog next door barks every night
He's great at giving thieves a fright
But I wish he’d stop

The dog next door barks every night
He's great at giving thieves a fright
But I wish he’d stop
When I pop to the shop

The dog next door barks every night
He's great at giving thieves a fright
But I wish he’d stop
When I pop to the shop
His barking is truly a blight

Their cat is blessedly quiet

Their cat is blessedly quiet
It never causes a riot

Their cat is blessedly quiet
It never causes a riot
I wish it was louder

Their cat is blessedly quiet
It never causes a riot
I wish it was louder
But not like thunder

Their cat is blessedly quiet
It never causes a riot
I wish it was louder
But not like thunder
When peace is required

Ginger cats are really quite cute

Ginger cats are really quite cute
But best if the Toms are kept mute

Ginger cats are really quite cute
But best if the Toms are kept mute
Cause such a racket

Ginger cats are really quite cute
But best if the Toms are kept mute
Cause such a racket
Food costs a packet

Ginger cats are really quite cute
But best if the Toms are kept mute
Cause such a racket
Food costs a packet
I'll teach mine to play the flute

He'll accompany the cat's choir

He'll accompany the cat's choir
And a kitten he will sire

He'll accompany the cat's choir
And a kitten he will sire
He'll call it Young Jimmy

He'll accompany the cat's choir
And a kitten he will sire
He'll call it Young Jimmy
By his mum he will shimmy