Lame Limericks (but they are funny anyway) (

He'll accompany the cat's choir
And a kitten he will sire
He'll call it Young Jimmy
By his mum he will shimmy
Before laying down by the fire.

Cats do like to have a good snooze

Cats do like to have a good snooze
But sometimes it's only a ruse

Cats do like to have a good snooze
But sometimes it's only a ruse
To stay and keep warm

Cats do like to have a good snooze
But sometimes it's only a ruse
To stay and keep warm
When outside there's a storm

Cats do like to have a good snooze
But sometimes it's only a ruse
To stay and keep warm
When outside there's a storm
They do share a bit of my booze

They do tend to snore a bit loud

They do tend to snore a bit loud
But I’d not disturb them I vowed

They do tend to snore a bit loud
But I’d not disturb them I vowed
When they curl up on the bed

They do tend to snore a bit loud
But I’d not disturb them I vowed
Curled up on the bed
Right next to my head,

They do tend to snore a bit loud
But I’d not disturb them I vowed
Curled up on the bed
Right next to my head,
A squashy tabby coloured cloud

Pete is allergic to pet hair

Pete is allergic to pet hair
I have to confess, I don't care

Pete is allergic to pet hair
I have to confess, I don't care
My cat’s number one

Pete is allergic to pet hair
I have to confess, I don't care
My cat’s number one
When all's said and done

Pete is allergic to pet hair
I have to confess, I don't care
My cat’s number one
When all's said and done,
He does understand, to be fair

Tomorrow I’m heading up North

Tomorrow I’m heading up North
Don't stop me, I have to go forth!

Tomorrow I'm heading up North
Or possibly West, to Borth

Tomorrow I'm heading up North
Or possibly West, to Borth
I could try Felinheli

Tomorrow I'm heading up North
Or possibly West, to Borth
I could try Felinheli
Or just Abergele

Tomorrow I'm heading up North
Or possibly West, to Borth
I could try Felinheli
Or just Abergele
Or maybe Ill travel up to Perth

Ive never been to Scotland you see

Ive never been to Scotland you see
But I have been to gay Paree

Ive never been to Scotland you see
But I have been to gay Paree
Joined in the can-can

I've never been to Scotland you see
But I have been to gay Paree
Joined in the can-can
Sold snails from a small van

I've never been to Scotland you see
But I have been to gay Paree
Joined in the can-can
Sold snails from a small van
Shared the gains with my friend Ceri

I might climb Kilimanjaro

I might climb Kilimanjaro
Or I might just fly to Pluto

I might climb Kilimanjaro
Or I might just fly to Pluto
Exciting it’ll be

I might climb Kilimanjaro
Or I might just fly to Pluto
Exciting it’ll be
I'll be back by three,