Lame Limericks (but they are funny anyway) (

Chocolate finger prints everywhere
With wet cloth in hand I just stare

Chocolate finger prints everywhere
With wet cloth in hand I just stare
The kids have eaten eggs and sweets

Chocolate finger prints everywhere
With wet cloth in hand I just stare
The kids left the eggs
Left nothing but dregs

Chocolate finger prints everywhere
With wet cloth in hand I just stare
The kids left the eggs
Left nothing but dregs
At their greed I do despair

So I cooked up a big Easter meal

So I cooked up a big Easter meal
But later I started to feel

So I cooked up a big Easter meal
But later I started to feel
Overwhelmed by the heat

So I cooked up a big Easter meal
But later I started to feel
Overwhelmed by the heat
And the smell from my feet

So I cooked up a big Easter meal
But later I started to feel
Overwhelmed by the heat
And the smell from my feet
But hubby said “that’s no big deal”

“Just sleep in the spare room” he said

“Just sleep in the spare room” he said
The one with the lumpy old bed

“Just sleep in the spare room” he said
The one with the lumpy old bed"
So now it's HIS room

“Just sleep in the spare room” he said
The one with the lumpy old bed"
So now it's HIS room
He can watch the moon

“ Just sleep in the spare room” he said
The one with the lumpy old bed"
So now it's HIS room
He can watch the moon
And be worried if it turns red

So many programmes to choose from

So many programmes to choose from
Some funny and some quite gruesome

So many programmes to choose from
Some funny and some quite gruesome
With Netflix and Amazon to stream

Just a reminder of the Limerick rhythm 88558
So many programmes to choose from
Some funny and some quite gruesome
Amazon to stream
Netflix to redeem

So many programmes to choose from
Some funny and some quite gruesome
Amazon to stream
Netflix to redeem
Some stuff is even quite wholesome

The cats in the garden take turns

The cats in the garden take turns
To play peek a bo in the ferns

The cats in the garden take turns
To play peekaboo in the ferns
Mine just caught a mouse

The cats in the garden take turns
To play peekaboo in the ferns
Mine just caught a mouse
Brought it in the house

The cats in the garden take turns
To play peekaboo in the ferns
Mine just caught a mouse
Brought it in the house
Dragged it, causing some carpet-burns

I’m not an oil painting, no way

I’m not an oil painting, no way
But still I am happy and gay

I’m not an oil painting, no way
But still I am happy and gay
My eyes, they do squint

I’m not an oil painting, no way
But still I am happy and gay
My eyes, they do squint
I’m best not in print

I’m not an oil painting, no way
But still I am happy and gay
My eyes, they do squint
I’m best not in print
Wont sit for my portrait today

So selfies are more to my taste

So selfies are more to my taste
Compared to some, they look quite chaste