Lame Limericks (but they are funny anyway) (

So selfies are more to my taste
Compared to some, they look quite chaste
I adjust my face

So selfies are more to my taste
Compared to some, they look quite chaste
I adjust my face
With my make up base

So selfies are more to my taste
Compared to some, they look quite chaste
I adjust my face
With my make up base
Which seems to be more like a paste

Mirrors I now try to avoid

Mirrors I now try to avoid
As my face looks like celluloid

Mirrors I now try to avoid
As my face looks like celluloid
My lines and crow’s feet

Mirrors I now try to avoid
As my face looks like celluloid
My lines and crow’s feet
Are starting to meet

Mirrors I now try to avoid
As my face looks like celluloid
My lines and crow’s feet
Are starting to meet
I now look more like an android

If we’d known how to keep our looks

If we’d known how to keep our looks
We could write and sell tons of books

If we’d known how to keep our looks
We could write and sell tons of books
So grow old disgracefully

If we’d known how to keep our looks
We could write and sell tons of books
So grow old disgracefully
Your years just embrace fully

If we’d known how to keep our looks
We could write and sell tons of books
So grow old disgracefully
Your years just embrace fully
As some plastic surgeons are crooks

The meadow outside was a lawn

The meadow outside was a lawn.
Heavy rain has caused some frog spawn

The meadow outside was a lawn.
Heavy rain has caused some frog spawn
Six ducks have appeared

The meadow outside was a lawn.
Heavy rain has caused some frog spawn
Six ducks have appeared
The rain clouds have cleared

The meadow outside was a lawn.
Heavy rain has caused some frog spawn
Six ducks have appeared
The rain clouds have cleared
Let's hope we see sun with the dawn.

To herald a beautiful day

To herald a beautiful day
And bask in the sun, if I may?

To herald a beautiful day
And bask in the sun, if I may?
Get out the deck chair

To herald a beautiful day
And bask in the sun, if I may?
Get out the deck chair,
From the garage, a pair,

To herald a beautiful day
And bask in the sun, if I may?
Get out the deck chair,
From the garage, a pair,
Just keeping our worries away.

My granny owns a toilet brush

My granny owns a toilet brush
She uses it just after flush

She pokes it around
In a hole in the ground

My granny owns a toilet brush
She uses it just after flush
She pokes it around
In a hole in the ground
She never seems to be in a rush

The stormy wind is getting stronger

The wind is blowing louder & longer

The stormy wind is getting stronger
It’s blowing louder & longer
Petals are dropping

The stormy wind is getting stronger
It’s blowing louder & longer
Petals are dropping,
Power is stopping,