Lame Limericks (but they are funny anyway) (

We must search for comforting news
It’s there, underneath all the blues
No need to feel down
To worry or frown
You will find reasons to enthuse

April is providing showers

April is providing showers
Here , it’s all sunshine and flowers

April is providing showers
Here , it’s all sunshine and flowers
Don’t mention the weeds

April is providing showers
Here , it’s all sunshine and flowers
Don’t mention the weeds
They’re all spreading seeds

April is providing showers
Here , it’s all sunshine and flowers
Don’t mention the weeds
They’re all spreading seeds
The gardener moans and glowers

Mr Jones is into D.I.Y

Mr Jones is into D.I.Y
He put up a bookself, oh my!

My Jones is into D.I.Y.
He put up a bookshelf, oh my!
It went up wonky

My Jones is into D.I.Y.
He put up a bookshelf, oh my!
It went up wonky
With books honky-tonky

Mr Jones is into D.I.Y.
He put up a bookshelf, oh my!
It went up wonky
With books honky-tonky
A shame he put it up so high

Should see what he did with a door

Should see what he did with a door
The handle was down by the floor

Should see what he did with a door
The handle was down by the floor
Opened by my foot

Should see what he did with a door
The handle was down by the floor
Opened by my foot
And if I had a boot

Should see what he did with a door
The handle was down by the floor
Opened by my foot
And if I wore a boot

Should see what he did with a door
The handle was down by the floor
Opened by my foot
And if I wore a boot
That door would be a door no more!

He’s worse let loose in the garden

Should see what he did with a door
The handle was down by the floor
Opened by my foot
And if I wore a boot
I'd kick off the handle, for sure!

My windows are now painted black

My windows are now painted black
The curtains are stored in a sack

My windows are now painted black
The curtains are stored in a sack
Can’t see out or in

My windows are now painted black
The curtains are stored in a sack
Can’t see out or in
The spring I'm missin'

My windows are now painted black
The curtains are stored in a sack
Can’t see out or in
The spring I'm missin'
I need to have the daylight back

My friend Nora, she’s quite batty

My friend Nora, she’s quite batty
She thinks latte is pronounced latty

My friend Nora, she’s quite batty
She thinks latte is pronounced latty,
For ‘Cache’ it’s ‘cashay’

My friend Nora, she’s quite batty
She thinks latte is pronounced latty,
And ‘Cache’ is ‘cashay’

My friend Nora, she’s quite batty
She thinks latte is pronounced latty,
And ‘Cache’ is ‘cashay’
She natters all day

My friend Nora, she’s quite batty
She thinks latte is pronounced latty,
And ‘Cache’ is ‘cashay’
She natters all day
Actually, she is quite catty

She dislikes her neighbour Dora

She dislikes her neighbour Dora
Gossips about her with Laura