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Lame Limericks (but they are funny anyway) (

(1001 Posts)
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crazyH Sat 11-Nov-23 23:04:20

Contd.
There was an old Gran with a wart
Which really bothered her a lot

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biglouis Fri 26-Apr-24 12:50:25

I’m keen to brush up on my French
Oh la la, I am rather dense
I can say ‘encore’
And manage "Zut alors!"

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crazyH Fri 26-Apr-24 13:04:58

I’m keen to brush up on my French
Oh la la, I am rather dense
I can say ‘encore’
And manage "Zut alors!"
Oh please, to me it makes no sense.

Can’t even speak my mother tongue

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Gwyllt Fri 26-Apr-24 13:20:58

Can’t even speak my mother tongue
I’ve been trying for ever so long

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GoldenLady Fri 26-Apr-24 14:03:55

Can’t even speak my mother tongue
I’ve been trying for ever so long
But eye cant get it write*

*Say it out loud

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Mel1967 Fri 26-Apr-24 15:37:40

Can’t even speak my mother tongue
I’ve been trying for ever so long
But eye can’t get it write
Really never might

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Gwyllt Fri 26-Apr-24 18:41:47

Can’t even speak my mother tongue
I’ve been trying for ever so long
But eye can’t get it write
Really never might
So shall I just sing you a song

If only I could sing in tune

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Mel1967 Fri 26-Apr-24 18:51:57

If only I could sing in tune
I’d really love to sing Blue Moon

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crazyH Fri 26-Apr-24 19:12:46

If only I could sing in tune
I’d really love to sing Blue Moon
But I am tone deaf

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Mel1967 Fri 26-Apr-24 20:37:19

If only I could sing in tune
I’d really love to sing Blue Moon
But I am tone deaf
Can barely hit F

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crazyH Fri 26-Apr-24 21:21:52

If only I could sing in tune
I’d really love to sing Blue Moon
But I am tone deaf
Can barely hit F
Yet, my speaking voice is a boon.

A town- crier’s job is my dream

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Gwyllt Fri 26-Apr-24 21:24:57

A town- crier’s job is my dream
I would have my own little team

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Mel1967 Fri 26-Apr-24 21:51:50

A town-criers job is my dream
I would have my own little team
We would cry Oh Yay

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Gwyllt Fri 26-Apr-24 22:43:20

A town-criers job is my dream
I would have my own little team
We would cry Oh Yay
Then we’d have our say

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biglouis Sat 27-Apr-24 07:37:39

A town-criers job is my dream
I would have my own little team
We would cry Oh Yay
Then we’d have our say
At least that is my scheme

To stand here and ring my bell

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Gwyllt Sat 27-Apr-24 08:15:09

To stand here and ring my bell
Sure there are things that I could tell

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Mel1967 Sat 27-Apr-24 09:49:29

To stand here and ring my bell
Sure there are things that I could tell
But will keep quiet

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Salti Sat 27-Apr-24 09:51:11

To stand here and ring my bell
Sure there are things that I could tell
But will keep quiet
Don't want a riot

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henetha Sat 27-Apr-24 10:25:11

To stand here and ring my bell
Sure there are things that I could tell
But will keep quiet
Don't want a riot,
Nor risk being sent down to hell.

I'm hoping to heaven

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Bellanonna Sat 27-Apr-24 10:45:25

I’m hoping to go to heaven
Perhaps when I’m ninety-seven?

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Mel1967 Sat 27-Apr-24 13:30:52

I’m hoping to go to heaven
Perhaps when I’m ninety-seven
To sit there on high

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Gwyllt Sat 27-Apr-24 15:54:55

I’m hoping to go to heaven
Perhaps when I’m ninety-seven
To sit there on high
Give a gentle sigh

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GoldenLady Sat 27-Apr-24 16:12:06

I’m hoping to go to heaven
Perhaps when I’m ninety-seven
To sit there on high
Give a gentle sigh
And want to go back, age eleven

Using my phone is frustrating

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crazyH Sat 27-Apr-24 22:00:34

Using my phone is frustrating
My fingers hurt through nail-biting

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biglouis Sat 27-Apr-24 23:37:16

Using my phone is frustrating
My fingers hurt through nail-biting
To text is not easy

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52bright Sat 27-Apr-24 23:58:03

Using my phone is frustrating
My fingers hurt through nail-biting
To text is not easy
Makes me feel queasy

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