WRONG ANSWERS!!

Because you travel backwards and forwards to Australia every three days!

What's the capital of Spain?

Its called Mad-rid because thats where they put all the crazy people.

Why do train spotters all wear duffle coats?

So they all look the same and can’t be identified easily

Why do some men go bald

Because they pull their hair out

What are fingernails made of?

The same thing as toenails, but I can't spell it so I can't tell you.

What are your thoughts about the size of your head?

That it's as big as it needs to be to cover my brain.

Do you have two left feet?

No because then I would have to buy 2 pairs of identical shoes.

Why do dogs (usually) bring things back when you shout "Fetch"?

Because they all understand English perfectly. If you used a different language, they would struggle.

Why has it stopped raining?

To annoy the weatherman who forecast rain

Who do dogs shake themselves

Because they are not allowed in the gym for exercise

Why do snakes slither?

It's a quieter way of creeping up on you.

Why do machines need to beep to tell you they have finished?

Because of inclusiveness these days they have to ensure that absolutely everyone knows they have finished.

Why do I keep getting adverts popping up

Because you are a big spender.

Why do people not like spiders?

Because they are not cuddly like cats and dogs

Why do the bin men always leave mine up the road?

Because you upset them in 1985.

Why is the earth covered with more water, than land?

To make room for all the fish and other sea creatures.

Why are huge planes able to fly?

Because they like to show off

Why do bees buzz?

Because they are unable to sing.

Why is everything going up in price?

Because if it all went down we'd think we were rich.

Why do we celebrate St. Patrick's Day?

Because he gets a bit cross if we don't.

Why is my. hair going grey?

Because you would look too young if it were dark

Why is my nose getting larger as I grow older?

Because of the white lies you told your friends when they asked 'do I look fat in this dress?'

Why is the escalator always broken when I need to use it?

To make sure we have some exercise.

Why do some countries change their name?

The government likes to confuse the plebs

Why is there never any milk left for my coffee?

Because the milk monitor hasn’t been doing her job

Why have I gone back under the duvet, instead of cleaning the house ?