LIMERICKS (Apr ‘25)

I believe spring is finally here
My garden needs a good old clear
Must get the grass cut

I believe spring is finally here
My garden needs a good old clear
Must get the grass cut
Keep him out - the mutt

I believe spring is finally here
My garden needs a good old clear
Must get the grass cut
Keep him out - the mutt,
Not to mention, the deer!

They eat anything that's in sight

They eat anything that's in sight
Come around in dead of night

They eat anything that's in sight
Come around in dead of night
I hear their horns lock

I hear their horns lock
About ten o'clock

They eat anything that's in sight
Come around in dead of night
I hear their horns lock
About ten o’clock
Then I know things are not quite right

I’d love to live in the Highlands

I'd love to live in the Highlands
With bagpipers stars in their bands

I'd love to live in the Highlands
With bagpipers stars in their bands
Scenic but hilly

I'd love to live in the Highlands
With bagpipers stars in their bands
Scenic but hilly
Living with Billy

I'd love to live in the Highlands
With bagpipers stars in their bands
Scenic but hilly
Living with Billy
And golf clubs would be in my hands

Instead, I am looking at rain

Instead I am looking at rain
Gurgling as it swirls down the drain

Instead I am looking at rain
Gurgling as it swirls down the drain
The roof’s sprung a leak

Instead I am looking at rain
Gurgling as it swirls down the drain
The roof’s sprung a leak
My kitchen's a creek

Instead I am looking at rain
Gurgling as it swirls down the drain
The roof’s sprung a leak
My kitchen's a creek
Oh it’s all a heck of a pain..

Think I’ll buy an inflatable

Think I’ll buy an inflatable
Though some think their value debatable

Think I’ll buy an inflatable
Though their value’s debatable
I could sail down the street

Think I’ll buy an inflatable
Though their value’s debatable
I could sail down the street
While soaking my feet

Think I'll buy an inflatable
Though their value's debatable
I could sail down the street
while soaking my feet
might make me far more dateable

That's a very strange look for sure

That's a very strange look for sure
When I sail up to your door

That's a very strange look for sure
When I sail up to your door
With paddle in hand

That's a very strange look for sure
When I sail up to your door
With paddle in hand
Bag full of sea sand

That's a very strange look for sure
When I sail up to your door
With paddle in hand
Bag full of sea sand
In a dress of white looking pure

That sure sounds a romantic date

That sure sounds a romantic date
With someone who is just a ‘mate’