Gransnet forums


Who’s the Daddy and where is my sister.

(35 Posts)
Fernbergien Sun 24-Jan-21 11:40:48

I hope I am allowed to put this stuff on Gransnet as don’t want to upset or annoy anyone.
Son been doing tree on and off for some time now and then had DNA done. Very surprising when it came back
Thought it would help re finding half sister but no luck there. Adopted. DOB 10/07/43.
But apparently my dad is not the man mother was married to! Checking back through it could appear that he was Scottish - Aberdeen.
Hope no rules broken here. I am just a big mystery!
Any advice could be useful. Be kind.

timetogo2016 Sun 24-Jan-21 11:49:13

Keep doing the research Fernbergien.
It all sounds exciting to me which isn`t helpfull to you.
You could go to your local registry office as they have records of births/deaths/marriages and the records have names and D O B and addresses too.
No rules broken so don`t worry.

Oopsadaisy1 Sun 24-Jan-21 11:53:10

Don’t read too much into DNA on these sites, we don’t get all of our parents DNA on our sample, your sons sample is made up from all of your ancestors not just immediate family.
You really need the whole family to do their DNA tests and compare the results with your tree.
I have Welsh ancestry but they have just changed my results to read Scottish and no Welsh side at all. We’ve confirmed our tree with certificates etc. So it’s a mystery.

Oopsadaisy1 Sun 24-Jan-21 11:54:06

PS you will only find siblings if they also have their DNA samples on the family research sites you are on.

M0nica Sun 24-Jan-21 12:01:24

There is noting like family history for revealing all the family skeletons, hidden in the closet for generations.

I have discovered, on one side, that my grandfather was born illegitimate and on the other side that people I was told died young and unmarried, certainly died young but were married with children. I have yet to find out why this was all hidden.

Hetty58 Sun 24-Jan-21 12:05:01

Fernbergien, assuming that you've had your own DNA sample analysed, the results are usually pretty accurate.

I'm sure that very many people have been 'assigned' the wrong father on birth certificates - only recently, since DNA testing's become common, has it come to light!

My family all did the '23 and me' tests. It's been really useful to find out so much about potential health risks, (reassuringly low) second cousins abroad etc. (mainly in the USA as it's popular there).

It's helped fill in some gaps on the family tree and making contact with distant relatives has been interesting.

Fernbergien Sun 24-Jan-21 12:28:02

Thanks everyone. Am going to get my DNA done soon. My mum had three daughters. All different fathers. She got around a lot!!!

Esspee Fri 29-Jan-21 15:34:07

*Fernbergien. Your half sister may never have had her DNA tested and even if she had she might have used a different company to do it. I feel it is crazy that all these DNA companies do not “talk to each other”. How much better it would be if for genealogical purposes their findings were pooled.
Being born in 1943 there is a good chance that she is no longer alive. Have you her name after adoption? If so presumably you have looked for her marriage and death online.
My first stop would be the adoption organisations in the town she was adopted from. I am sure there are books suggesting how to search for adopted people. Wouldn’t it be lovely to find her. Good luck.

grannysyb Fri 29-Jan-21 16:10:46

I did a little search on my father's mother, she was a vicar's daughter who married when she was about 30. The site said that she had three illegitimate children before she married! I'm sure that it's a mistake, I knew her and it seems extremely unlikely. I've left it for now, once libraries are open again I'll have another look.

Fernbergien Mon 15-Feb-21 11:31:46

Still tracking and tracing and doing most of things suggested. Now know that real father from Yorkshire who traveled around in his lorry so probably came south!!
Posted off own dna today

Chestnut Mon 15-Feb-21 12:05:55

Esspee I feel it is crazy that all these DNA companies do not “talk to each other”. How much better it would be if for genealogical purposes their findings were pooled.
I'm not sure how that would work. I had my DNA done on Ancestry and then on My Heritage. They are completely different! I have researched back into the 1700s and I believe Ancestry has got it right, whereas My Heritage DNA is completely bonkers.

Blossoming Mon 15-Feb-21 12:19:26

It’s addictive Fernbergian, hope you get some interesting results!

Fernbergien Tue 16-Feb-21 10:46:16

I hope every one will be happy for me to report back.

Mamissimo Tue 16-Feb-21 11:02:31

Esspee with all the companies that offer DNA testing you can download your zipped DNA data and then upload it to Gedmatch. This site is free and it is optional for you to upload a gedcom tree to support it.

Gedmatch is purely about science and if you fin matches on there you can then use tools within the site to work out more. There are lots of explanatory videos on you tube.

Gedmatch is also home to lots of ancestry project groups which are grouped geographically or by surname. Most of these groups have very sophisticated Facebook pages which offer matchmaker tools and top notch support.

I'm happy to help anyone with DNA genealogy queries if you pm me.

Fernbergien Mon 19-Jul-21 10:44:43

I am original writer. Things have really progressed. Real Dad from Yorkshire. Grandfather from Shropshire. Granny had been at it too. So I am not as much a Southerner as I thought. In contact with nearest relative in Yorkshire. Found very close links with our professions. Found out on Mums side that a grandfather and his brother were quite famous. Two bright sides to my background. Found out that family estate is now a very posh hotel. A rogue marrying into family squandered it all.Set up official search for half sister. Not seen since baby. Son is good detective.

Fernbergien Sun 05-Dec-21 18:17:07

Back again. Now found sister. So excited. Early days.
My sisters daughter had DNA done six months after us and contacted son. They (cousins) seem to really be bonding on line. Not spoken or writen to sister yet.. As I said early days . So now found as a retiree anew father, a new grandfather and my half sister.I always felt something wrong re Dad. It has been an exciting 2021. Also moving very soon to live nearer son.

BlueBelle Sun 05-Dec-21 18:42:50

oopsadaisy exactly the same for me My granddaughter has done hers with ancestry and 0% English but I have done my tree on both sides back to late 1600s and all English so she should have at least 25% Her dad was not English and her mum half so she should have been 50% Dad 25% of her Mum s dad s heritage and the other 25% of mine English
So what can we make of that ??

Oldnproud Sun 05-Dec-21 18:42:53

How exiting for you, Fernbergien.

I haven't done any research yet, but already know that I am likely to have as yet unknown relations out there.
My mum was illegitimate, and although there is no one left who might know the name of her biological father, it is believed that he was a married man with children.

I am so tempted to start a DNA search ... .

Fernbergien Wed 19-Oct-22 12:19:20


Thanks everyone. Am going to get my DNA done soon. My mum had three daughters. All different fathers. She got around a lot!!!

Back again. Original post on 24/I/21.
A lot gone on. Have met youngest niece ( sisters daughter) and it went fine. A lot of yak.
Also met cousin re my Dad. Again fine. She(Jill) was shocked when she saw younger son. He went out front door to greet her and shewas shocked as he looked like her deceased brother moved like him built like him same mannerisms. Both Accountants.
In one week meeting sister and other niece and family for first time.
An amazing covid time for us. Trying to find my half brothers family in Australia. Was in local paper.
If you can handle it have a go. Younger son very good detective. As I had a “funny” childhood it did not worry me. Everyone seems our sort of people. Made me feel better about myself as my non family weren’t always nice.

Blossoming Wed 19-Oct-22 12:53:17

My Aberdeen grandfather had a few children with women who were not his wives Franbern. When you start digging it’s not that unusual!

Fernbergien Wed 19-Oct-22 14:00:35

I have heard that one in four DNA searches ends up finding “secrets”.
I was not surprised. It has been exciting.

Esspee Wed 19-Oct-22 14:18:35

Fernbergien How exciting. I have tested on 23 and me and Ancestry and have made lots of contacts abroad and here, actually meeting up with quite a few cousins. I highly recommend it as a hobby to anyone (except pearl clutchers).

Fernbergien Wed 19-Oct-22 14:44:11

Yes very exciting Esspee. Also there’s was a shooting. The ne’er- do - well second husband to great grandmother demanded money but none left he’d spent the lot. When he produced a gun grandmother raised her hand to protect her mother and a bullet went through her hand,! Found out so much.going back further found out because they were rich also philanthropic. They did a lot for villagers. Successful civil engineers. Bit like Brunel.

TerriBull Wed 19-Oct-22 15:32:49

I had mine done recently, I was surprised I haven't that much English DNA, some, but far less than I thought I don't particularly care I always knew I was a mix but somehow it was a bit surprising. More Irish which I think is wrong my grandmother was only half Irish so therefore 25% is too much. On the other hand paternal grandfather wholly Maltese/Sicilian I get only 20% but some from Anatolia and The Caucuses which is news to me, plus a mix of France/Germany, including 10 per cent Jewish people of Europe, Norwegian 10%, Vikings I presume! and a dash of Welsh.

Fernbergien Wed 19-Oct-22 15:46:09

Golly.what a mix. I appear to be half Yorkshire and quarter Shropshire. Not that much a Southener. Things seem to prove right re DNA and son’s detective work. It is all so interesting.