Locking children in their bedrooms

Did wonder why no one seems to have ascertained what is making the child insecure ...assumption was that on a different floor...but could be something else...that the child themselves may not be overtly aware of?

But totally agree ...locking in is totally inapproriate ...seems more of a punishment than concern for her safety

If this is true, and not a wind up, the so called sleep expert should be reported to his or her employers, managers, regulating body, depending on which so called profession he or she belongs to. This is so dangerous that it beggars belief.

Bagitha we seem to be sharing a "hmmmm".

yes phoenix ...I know what you mean.

Really pleased to see you back again ...hope things go well tomorrow for you ...a difficult day

phoenix and jacey, hmmmm indeed!

No! I hear this regularly at tribunals with some mentally impaired children! I believe it!

Perhaps the reason Humbertbear hasn't commented on our replies is because of how we've replied? If she's very concerned, it may have shaken her to have seen that we are also concerned about the little girl? Just a thought?

Your comment does put a new light on it, jeni — a rather shocking one!

I'm afraid so. But there are some children that unless they are locked in the parents have to be awake all night to prevent them harming themselves or others. It is rare but it does happen. The parents usually look exhausted!
It is harrowing tales like this that I hear regularly at tribunals!
May account for my love of light relief on gn!

I agree with everyone especially Hankipanki. The fact that the parents do not want anyone to know what they are doing confirms that they know it is wrong. I hope they sort this out quick and that the little girls school doesn't find out what happens to her at night. The school would be forced to act on such information.

If the little girl is so scared of new bedroom, why not let her siblings sleep in there with her for a little while to reassure her that it is a fun and happy place to be?

I wonder if the child had a hand in designing, decorating and choosing the furniture for the bedroom. If she felt some ownership and pride in it, she might be happier to sleep there. Also, I hope she has a night light of some kind.

What jeni says, suggests to me that it was the parents who needed sleep "therapy", not the little girl. Maybe they weren't getting any sleep because of the little girl's problems. If they have two other children, they would need their sleep.

It would help if the OP would come back and explain further. I find it hard to believe parents would lock a child in a bedroom for trivial reasons.

bags The mum I knew who used to lock her child in at night simply did it so she and her husband wouldn't be disturbed by the child wanting a glass of water, having a bad dream, etc. Trivial and wrong, I thought then and think now.

Completely agree, absent, but I don't get the impression from the OP that that's the problem here. I sincerely hope not anyway. We don't know enough to make a judgment in this case, though the idea of locking a child in a room alone does ring alarm bells whatever the reason.

It is not the fact that someone would lock a child in their bedroom that defies belief (I was a SW for 25 years), but the idea that there are so-called experts out there whom parents are paying for this sort of advice!

How does it help sleep deprived parents to have a child screaming in panic behind a locked door, wondering if said parents are still there and why they have locked her in? Sorry, but in my book it doesn't do to debate the whys and wherefores of the supposed problem; it is wrong on every level.

artygran I wasn't debating the whys and wherefores – I was just pointing out that I have first-hand experience that this does happen and for very trivial reasons so the OP may well have been genuine and not a wind-up (as has been suggested).

That's what I meant when I commented that my parents used to lock me in my room at night, too. It was a trivial reason - nothing to do with anything sinister - they simply didn't want me to fall downstairs. As is very likely the case with the parents of this little girl. Perhaps our reactions (well-intentioned) have startled Humbertbear a bit?
If this is the case, Humbert, just come back on and tell us what you think?

arty, there has been no suggestion by the OP that the child is distressed ("screaming in panic" were your words). The OP just said her granddaughter "told her about it".

green, I wouldn't call trying to prevent you falling downstairs a 'trivial' reason. In addition, I don't think stair gates were very common when we were small.

We have always left bedroom doors open. I don't know how common that is. In the house where I grew up all the door handles are out of reach to small children so even just closing the door would 'lock' them in. If 'containment' — as in putting a baby in a cot for safety, or a playpen, or fastening it into a high chair — is all that is intended, then it is not intrinsically wrong. We do not know all the reasons why the child's door is locked, nor even if it actually is being locked, just that the child has reported to her grandma that she is shut in by, in gran's words, "caring" and "protective" parents.

The longer the OP leaves before she re-posts, the more I feel this was a wind-up.

No - not trivial at all, bagitha - and I know I was checked regularly!

I have never even shut my bedroom door when there is a child in the house. The thought that a frightened or ill child was not able to reach an adult is unthinkable. I think the powers that be would take a dim view of locking a door from the outside for whatever reason.

Not everybody can log in every day so I am keeping an open mind about the OP. Humbert is the man in 'Lolita'.

I NEVER shut my bedroom door! I have mild problem in hotels! I must have slight claustrophobia! I don't like small rooms either , which is why I dread the thought of a care home as I get more disabled

Bagitha I'm with you. A bit of response from the poster wouldn't go amiss either.

Jeni thought of you leaving your hotel room ajar.
I once got spooked when i booked into a hotel room that was part of a 2 room arrangement with adjoining door, that did not appear to be lockable. OMG no! Even if there was no-one in the other room...