Finding being a long distance nanny so painful

Thanks wise. It is beautifully sunny here today, which makes my mood unaccountably bizarre! No one to share it with, I guess. I'll bounce back - I always do.

Dear Butty you ARE a very reasonable woman and having ones children and grandchildren so far away is good cause for having an occasional fret/strop/down day etc. No doubt you will get up and dust yourself off and go back to reasonable acceptance very soon, but right now you're just acknowledging that it feels painful to be so far away. I very occasionally have a similar day when missing my daughter (she's emigrated to NZ) suddenly brings me to my knees for no obvious reason.

Butty I'm sorry you are having a bad day, I hope it passes soon

Butty sorry to hear that you are feeling blue, hope it will soon pass.

Have a good wallow and then Skype them Butty - some days it just feels right to miss them that bit more. I hope it lightens up for you again soon

Butty I do sympathise . I have no idea if my DGCs abroad are with their other GPs for Easter or not.i have sent a parcel to the other GPs in case the children are there- an Easter egg hunt and some things to make. I regularly send email pictures hoping that my daughter will have time to show what I send to the DGCs.and I just wish for a few words. The less the contact with them the fewer things we will have to talk about. When I last visited them I bought new boots for the DGD as the ones she was wearing were leaking and I mended the DGS' s jeans. I did it to help but my otherDD says it may have been taken as criticism. She says I am too ready to offer unsolicited advice. She's always right.

Sometimes it's just exhausting to remain so bloody upbeat. My granddaughter has just had her 3rd birthday, and has had her first few days at kindergarten, and my grandson will be 5 very soon, and starting his special school. The Italian contingent will be having big family Birthday/ Easter parties - and I am never a part of these little (BIG) milestones and traditions. Won't get to hug them until 2014.

Skype doesn't always cut it.

Still wallowing I'm afraid, but thank you all for your support.

A good night's sleep needed, I think.

Sleep well.
No comfort really, just agree that it is very hard sometimes. This time last year I had the all the children and grandchildren together for the first and only time. Don't know when that will happen again. Hugs.

Butty not really connected to this thread, well perhaps a little. My son had his wedding shower yesterday. He lives in Texas. I was able to Skype and sort of join in. My daughter was also there with her husband, organising things as usual!

Skype sometimes just does not cut it, you're quite right!

Hope you're feeling better today.

Hi, May I join in as I am new to the site. I can sympathise so much with you all with your grandchildren so far away. I live in the South and my son lives in Scotland but because I have to work full time as does he and his partner, I only get to see them approx every four to five months. My second grandchild was born today but I will be unable to see her for another month or so. I therefore realise how very hard it must be for those of you with children and grandchildren on the other side of the world. I try and tell myself that as long as they are healthy and happy that is all that matters and that there will always be a small part of me with them.

Primrose Snap! We live in Scotland and our grandchildren live down south. I ache to be with them. I do my best to keep the sadness of separation well under wraps. It is DIFFICULT. It is do-able. I focus my attention on the special dates marked on the calendar and enjoy every moment once the time for family gatherings come around. A warm welcome to Gransnet.

Yes welcome primrose. We do all really want them to be just round the corner don't we.
Hope you are feeling a little better Butty. We aree not unreasonable. The bloody kids are bloody unreasonable with all this tearing around the glove nonsense! Enough already.
And as for these daft girls who are falling out with their mums! Wish they would all go to therapy and get over their teenaged strops.

Hello Primrose and congratulations! I'm sure your first visit will be worth the wait.

Yep, back to being pragmatic again, Jess. Got to be. It doesn't serve any purpose to be otherwise, does it!

...and thanks all for the understanding.

Thankyou for welcoming me. How strange Soop that you are in Scotland and I am down South, we probably pass occasionally! I know it is difficult to cope with the distances involved but, as you say, I must, as you do, just look forward to those times when it is possible to meet up. I just feel sad that my granddaughter does not really know me and thinks I am just an odd person who pops up occasionally in her life and that her mother's mother is her real grandma as she has weekly contact. But that's life. Best wishes to all grandparents.

Primrose welcome to GN ; there are lots of GN's whose gc's are thousands of miles away. Like Soop I live in Scotland but my 2 of my children and their families are in the south of England and 1 in Australia where I am now. The UK is a small place and if necessary you can be in Scotland and I in England within a few hours. Life is not fair, but we have to make the best of it!

Primrose...our Wee Man is on holiday with his mummy and her parents [the other gp's] They also spend every Christmas together and a few weekends inbetween. I did go through a spell of feeling "left out" and I'm ashamed to say, I was jealous. I've since come to terms with the fact that we shall see our grandchildren possibly three times [tops] throughout the year. I guess that love is sometimes letting go of the ideal dream...and settling for what is possible and enjoying those possibilities to the full,

Thankyou. This forum/discussion is so very helpful in realising that I am not alone in feeling as I do and it has been a great comfort. Fortunately and necessarily I am able to continue working full time and this helps a great deal as by the time I arrive home I just want to have a bath and sleep! With any remaining time I have joined some exercise classes and a book club. This all helps with keeping my mind on other things. To all grandparents and grandchildren and indeed anyone in the forum I send my best wishes for a very Happy Easter.

And all good wishes to you, dear Primrose

Thank you for your good wishes Primrose. Have a good Easter.
This afternoon I had a long skype with my grandchildren in America - both showing me the dyed Easter eggs they had made. I was delighted they had done that, as my son, who'd had fond memories of doing it when he was small, made sure this tradition was continued. Big and double
I like the artiness of it!

I've found it painful just reading all these stories of separation & send hugs to all. Some random thoughts: On my recent travels, I met Brits on the plane going to see their kids in Oz & NZ on the way out & on our return journey many Aussies & Kiwis coming here to see their kids -what a lot of air miles could be saved if everyone stayed where they were! I worked out that my in-laws actually saw more of their G'kids on their extended trips to see them in Oz than on the short trips to see ours about 80 miles away - but it's the ease of fast connection when needed that makes the difference.
I grew up in Oz in pre-internet, skype days of the 50s & felt a real connection with grandparents just through their regular long snail mail letters, photos & home -made gifts. Sadly my other grandma died a few months before we returned to England.
I love the idea of a magic stone mentioned in earlier posts. With my very young German grandson, we always sing the same song to him when we skype & sing it again when we meet to help him recognise who we are. I think I shall tell him short 'skype' stories or do story tapes as he grows older.

And you meet such interesting people on your trips, don't you , Gadabout?

Butty, you are right, being upbeat all the time about the long distance nannying is exhausting. My partners lovely daughter round the corner says I'm too easy going about grown up boys around the uk/world not visiting very often. But I think it would cause a huge falling out if I made any fuss about they visiting me rather than their wives/partners parents on special occasions such as Christmas and Easter.
I do go through down periods when I think it's my fault they don't visit as often, maybe it's because I'm divorced, but still have a good relationship with ex who is living in the family home round the corner. So they still have their old family home to visit and we go to great lengths to ensure their is no animosity between us. (Long long story, could fill a whole thread on background) then my partners family and my good friends tell me I've done nothing wrong and it's just boys/I've helped them be so independent etc.
That's life I suppose.

Dear you !
My husband and I are like you , our lovely only grandson born in July 2011 in London , then by Christmas 2011 moved to California , job move , just for a couple of years , wanted him to go to school in uk, but now buying a house and staying ,our new grand/daughter due in November ! but it does get better ! you Skype weekly , using puppets and toys which he loves ! You save up and visit especially for their birthdays and Christmas if you can afford it .,English toys with English voices are good to take as they love our accents , our books are good ,even the ones from sainsbury , I am always collecting these on offer, always check that they ate printed in England .
If you are retired you fill your life with other things, I became a school governor and got really involved. Also have another son in uk who is going out with a lovely girl from Washington DC. ! Remember your other children even if they are grown up, they also need you.
Also change credit cards and try and earn air miles . Re also gifts etc, try Amazon but the usa site , good toys and much cheaper than sending them from uk site.
Hope this helps , I know how I felt when I first heard , I think my son was almost afraid to tell me ,especially as I had just retired and was going to help a lot as my daughter in law planned to go back to work quite soon .
Take care and good luck .
Regards
Desiree .