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Almost a Grandma but not really

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Joan Sun 18-May-14 13:11:58

Although I'm pushing 70 and have two sons and two daughters-in-law, no grandkids are on the horizon. But for the last week or two I seem to have been adopted by the 5 year old lass next door. As soon as she sees me come into the garden, she's at the back gate asking to come in. Beth, our Golden Retriever leaps about all excitedly as little Harmony comes through the gate. Then the lass has to help me with everything - feeding the chickens, collecting the eggs, watering the plants, collecting seeds, planting things, even cleaning up the dog poo. Lots of questions follow: lots of how and why. I've had to explain about plant germination, the use of manure, how to make liquid manure with chicken poo, how to make bug killer with chillies, garlic and wormwood. Now she wants to know why the empty swing-type compost bin keeps tumbling long after you've let go, and other science questions nearly 60 years after I failed first form physics and chemistry!! Today she wanted to draw a monster so I gave her paper and felt tip pens.

I never realised how easy and fun it is to be even a pretend grandma!!

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Joan Fri 12-Sept-14 00:37:17

No-one was around the other day, so it was just a pleasant stroll with Beth, but Harmony (Mony) ensured she didn’t miss yesterday. She took her bike, then decided it was a nuisance after all, so she asked one of our new found friends, Margaret, owner of a three legged dog called Bella, if she could leave her bike in her yard for a while. Beth and Bella socialised a bit, then we went walking. Talking about school, she mentioned to me that boys at school (remember she is one of 5 girls, no brothers) have something different ‘down there’. I said yes, it’s called a penis. Luckily John came by with his dog, ready to feed the horses – phew – saved before more questions. I’ll have to have a quiet word with her Mum….
My physiotherapist says I have to take it steady on the walks, so I resist the urge to try to keep up with Beth and Mony. I do love the walks though, and so does Beth, who decided to be true to her water dog nature the other day, and shot off to wallow in a rather dirty pond at the end of the storm drain. I’ve no sense of smell myself, but I was reliably informed that she ponged when we got home.
As we say in Yorkshire, there’s allus summat.

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