Had a difficult year and it is still ongoing so could do with some support please...
I lost my brother in law and mum in law in the space of a week back in March , difficult time , double funeral , family in pain
Younger DD turned to drink , things went from bad to worse , Grandson now 'looked after' by social services and I only get to see him for 2 hours once a week!
I adore my Grandson and he has special needs with only a little speech but I understand him and we are in tune with each other
As each week passes I miss him more and more and he cannot understand or ask why he has been taken away and it breaks my heart , especially when he cries each week and gets really upset when I leave him , the first time he was the most distressed and held onto my dress and would not let me go
Then 3 weeks ago my older DD lost her baby , my little Granddaughter , at 37 weeks pregnant!
I am heart broken!!!
I am dealing with it best I can but missing BOTH my Grandchildren , one in heaven , one been taken away at the moment is SO painful for me and it is difficult getting through each day at the moment
I have asked to have my Grandson full time once I am on my feet and that was the plan but social services rang me yesterday to tell me I had FAILED the assessment!
I am in SHOCK to be honest as I saw and still see no reason for them to refuse me and their reasons are not valid or even truthful , they think because I am close to my daughter I won't be strict with her re visits etc which is not true as my Grandson comes first , point blank!!
I don't know how to prove it to them but they won't even give me a chance and said it was ''just words'' when I said I would 100% be strict with my daughter but I WOULD...
We have already fallen out twice because I have been honest with social services about her drinking , once right in front of them in a meeting , but they said if my DD and I fell out I would go into a depression which is not true
They also said they are concerned about the death of my baby Granddaughter and the impact on me but I told them I am dealing with it which I am , extremely well under the circumstances and am having some bereavement counselling which helps a lot!
Everything I do is not enough and they said I could ''seek legal advice'' but it wasn't very nice of them to deliver the news around 5pm on a Friday of a bank holiday weekend after which I found all the advice lines were closed till Tuesday , so I am left alone to deal with the news
I was looking forward to having my Grandson for weekends at first which was the plan and then upping it to full time once I moved house and settled in and got his room ready etc and by then I would be in a much better place and as healthy and well as possible and fully able to have him and look after him well which I do , have always had him to stay for weekends and school holidays or if my daughter goes away with her friends for a break as she does find it hard being a single Mum with an Autistic little boy ( he is 7 )
My older DD is having a very hard time of course and I am worried about her , worried about the outcome of my younger DD's drinking which she is not getting the extra help she needs for as yet and worrying about my Grandson and the impact of him being separated for us long term
He always says ''Nanny's house'' when he sees me and I used to say ''Friday'' if I was having him for the weekend and he would say ''Nanny's house Friday'' with a huge smile on his face! ... He was so happy at my house he refused to leave even if I tried to bribe him with going to Macdonalds lol he would NOT go anywhere else once he was here , but that shows how happy he was
I am heart broken I was refused as his carer by SS and there is a complaints procedure if you disagree with their decision and you can ask them to look at it again or resolve things by putting a plan in place , if that is not acceptable to me I can ask for the decision to go to an independent board to be looked at again as I do not think the SW's reasons were valid or even true! So I may just go down this route as I feel the decision was unreasonable and not based on truth
I am prepared for my DD to try and manipulate me to extend her visiting time etc but even SHE knows I mean business and would NOT budge on the rules as I would NOT want to risk losing my Grandson and he comes first because he is a child who needs me and she is an adult who can access the help she needs to come off the drink for good and hopefully get her son back when drink free for life as she is a good Mum when not drinking but I am not willing for her to be around him when drinking , so I THOUGHT SS and I were on the same page ie had my Grandsons best interests at heart as HOW can putting him with strangers be better than a family member who yes has recently had a bad time ( due to no fault of her own ) but is taking EVERY step to recover and be and stay well as I would not offer to have him if I was not 100% certain I could provide the proper care and look after him well
They have no concerns at all for his safety and well being when with me , so seems they have resorted to ''coulds'' ... I ''could'' be too soft with my daughter which I WON'T and I ''could'' go into a depression if I fell out with my daughter which I WON'T as am prepared for that and the loss of my Granddaughter ''could'' mean I was not well enough to look after him which after a good few weeks and more counselling it definitely WON'T and they were not looking to place him with me straight away anyway but now they are saying they will not be placing him with me AT ALL! xx
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