How can I help my daughter?

Thanks for all your comments and advice fellow nans/grans/grandmas. I'm sure she will love baby to bits and all will turn out OK. She knows deep down that she is being silly/selfish and feels very guilty about it and ashamed of herself. Once the hormones settle down I'm sure all will be well. I was just so worried that I was looking for reassurance and wondered if anyone else's daughter had experienced the same feelings.

My DD was initially disappointed to find that she was expecting another boy. However, she soon turned it into a joke and wondered who would now inherit "all the jewellery!". Incidentally I think that she is far closer to her second son than the first. I`ve even discussed this with her and she hasn't denied it. I disagree with thatbags regarding telling madq's DD that she's being silly. You can't tell people how they should be feeling just because they are not what you think they should be. People are entitled to their own feelings and I`m sure madq`s daughter will work through them. Supportive warmth and laughter are a good way ahead. We still look wistfully at the lovely little girl`s clothes in shops but DD happily moves on to select rugby tops and blue wellies. I`m sure all will be well for you and yours madq

Me and my daughter gave a sigh of relief when we realised that she was having another boy and said 'at least we won't have to get another pony' [I think I was more relieved than her given the fact that I'd ended up doing most of the pony looking after than she had]. One thing that worried me was that, much as I'd loved reading Thomas the Tank Engine books over and over again first time round I felt that I wouldn't be able to show the same enthusiasm again. As it turned out grandson number two showed no interest in Thomas; for him it was Spiderman [which I refused to read anyway ]. And you save a fortune in clothes and toys etc.

I remember one of the nurses said to me when I had DS 'Is your first child a boy or girl?'. When I said we had a girl she said 'Oh what a pity - all those lovely girls' clothes are going to be wasted now you've had a boy'

madq I just wanted to add that your relationship with your daughter must be wonderful for her to confide in you. Lots of expectant daughters wouldn't. They'd be wary of a negative reaction. Somtimes we need to speak our thoughts out loud even though we don't really mean them. Once the words are out we feel better. That may have been what was happening between your daughter and you. Your a 'safe' vessel for her secrets and thoughts.

Just give her a hug - it will all come right in the end I am sure. She knows she is out of order and will begin to bond with this little babe when it arrives.