Dressing toddlers

Lindajane the clue is in your last sentence-if the parents aren't enforcing things you are going to have a real struggle. Especially if they are 4. My DGD is 3 and tries all sorts of things, often with a look in her eye that says "I wonder if I can get away with this?". But she knows her daddy (and the rest of us adults) will stick with what he says. One of the tactics her parents use is the removal of a favourite toy until she has behaved well. She still protests sometimes about putting on her coat but she does it when warned her behaviour isn't acceptable. I wonder how your DGDs behave at nursery? Most nurseries have outdoor time and expect children to wear a coat. If it is an issue with the coats they will be protesting there as well. If it is just testing behaviour they won't. One of the tactics you could use is the "I don't suppose you can do that" one. Leave the pile of clean clothes close to them and go off murmuring something about wishing they were big enough to get dressed/put their coats/shoes on by themselves. Returning a little later (hopefully) to find them ready or almost ready- cheers hugs,expressions of surprise. You can begin by doing this one item at a time. Sometime it works, sometimes it doesn't. Good luck!

This might sound a bit poncy, but being a paediatric nurse, I considered myself fairly good at getting children to do whatever needed to be done. Of course this flew out the window with my down DD. Eventually, I started using the magic word - 'appropriate' and, who knows why - maybe because it sounded grown up - she started responding - as in 'It's not appropriate to wear shorts in the winter time' and we would have discussions about which clothes were appropriate for certain occasions (i.e. pajamas are not ok for going to the synagogue!!). By the time she was 6 or 7 she was telling her friends that they were not dressed 'appropriately' which got to be embarressing (for me ) This probably won't work for very many people but thought I'd throw in my two cents.

I very much agree with maxgran. We need to remember who is the adult in the relationship.

Teacher11 another tip I got from Penelope Leach was "Be sure that it has to be No before you say No" If you get into a long and wearing argument about something that you now realise didn't really matter, whether it's about clothes or something else, you are going to end up giving in and that's another dent in your authority.

I was a nursery teacher. If it was cold every child had to wear a coat, there was no option. I used to say to any new child that objected "It's not a choice. It's cold and you wear a coat." They never argued again! If it's something where there can be a choice give them 2 options - You can choose A or B, no other choice. It tends to work. Sadly to get children to behave everyone needs to be singing from the same hymn sheet.

I really don't understand this 'refuses to wear' thing about a child or toddler.
You have to set your intention that it's going to happen and not fret about how to handle it when a child refuses.
You wouldn't let a child put their fingers in an electric socket or do something dangerous. You would be firm.
Apply the same attitude to anything else that is necessary.

Three if my grandchildren used to do this refusing a coat thing with their parents. They never did it with me or their granddad once we established the coat went on when we told them it would.
It really isn't the child...It's the attitude of the adult that counts and I am not talking about being harsh or nasty or scaring a child. It's just firmness, being calm with no hesitancy or fear they may not like it.

I was a nursery teacher. If it was cold every child had to wear a coat, there was no option. I used to say to any new child that objected "It's not a choice. It's cold and you wear a coat

Perfect. That's exactly how to do it imo.

I wonder if they feel uncomfortable in a bulky coat on their small bodies and limbs.
Maybe they would wear an extra jumper instead?

Firmness is fine but I once had GS2 screaming for an entire shopping trip because I made him wear his coat. I got the shopping done and he wore his coat but it was awfully wearing on the nerves. Fortunately the really cold weather has convinced him that a coat can be a good thing.