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Grandparenting

Grandchild not allowed to visit my home

(108 Posts)
scarlet1 Tue 10-May-16 00:53:38

My son has told me that my grandson can't visit my home due to third hand smoke. My husband smokes and has never smoked in the presence of our other grandchildren or when they are visiting or in the car and as I have an a compromised immune system I am super clean walls are washed down every month leather furniture washed every two days. Inside of books hovered carpet vaxed monthly. I have looked at the empirical evidence which is not clear and spoken to my other son and daughter and they say my house never smells of smoke and they think he is being unfair and it is an excuse. Whilst I respect it his child and his decision, when I visit they talk about staying at his partners family home and visiting friends it tears me apart to think he will never be allowed in my home.

endlessstrife Tue 14-Jan-20 09:52:57

No one in my family/ friends etc. ever smoked, but if they had, I wouldn’t have wanted my children around it. It comes under the banner of simply not warranting taking the risk. Dangerous chemicals hang around, no matter what amount of cleaning you do. I probably would have spent my time pressuring them to stop smoking, as a nurse, that would have worried me more.

Blondiescot Fri 17-Jan-20 21:35:25

I'm sorry, but I'm with your son on this one. There is no way I'd have let my children visit their grandparents if they smoked. His child, his rules. The way I see it, if smoking is more important to the person than their grandchild, that says it all...

Bathsheba Fri 17-Jan-20 21:44:38

As has already been pointed out, and more than once, this thread is 4 years old. Anyone responding to the OP is probably talking to an empty room ?

OutsideDave Sun 19-Jan-20 19:12:01

I know plenty of parents who don’t take their young babies on long car trips for precisely that reason Hetty. Often to the consternation of extended family hmm

OutsideDave Sun 19-Jan-20 19:14:46

As someone who has never smoked but was exposed to 2nd and 3rd hand smoke throughout my childhood and suffers from chronic, severe asthma and takes multiple medications daily to ensure I don’t DIE- grandparents who insist on exposing their grandkids to any sort of smoke exposure- 3rd or otherwise, are despicable. It’s a disgusting, filthy habit and tbh I wish all parents took 3rd hand smoke exposure seriously and actually made the appropriate levels of demands upon family members who insist on smoking.

endlessstrife Mon 20-Jan-20 12:55:25

The OP may have gone, but we can still talk about it, it’s an interesting subject.

Norah Wed 22-Jan-20 19:59:39

It is clear, OH quit smoking.